


Describing The Series Via References

by Masterweaver



Series: Describing The Series Via References And Bonus Materials [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Gen, Memes, Metafiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 38,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27919762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterweaver/pseuds/Masterweaver
Summary: Team RWBY is handed a list of memes about, well, team RWBY, and told to read them. They are suitably baffled by the whole thing.
Series: Describing The Series Via References And Bonus Materials [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177328
Comments: 87
Kudos: 117





	1. Prologue: This Will Be The Day We've Waited For!

A small thunk accompanied a loud groan as a girl with blood-red hair let her face hit the desk. "Unnnngh...."

"Is there a problem, Ruby?"

"I still don't get this whole..." Ruby gestured at the textbook. "...export agreement thing."

"You didn't cover it at Signal?"

"Signal doesn't go into international economics until junior year, Weiss." The blonde woman sitting on the bed tapped at a plastic pane. "Ruby got skipped ahead two years, so..."

"Ah." The white-haired girl nodded, leaning over Ruby's shoulder. "Ah," she said again. "In that case, you probably shouldn't start with _that_ textbook."

"But Blake said it's the most comprehensive book on trade we have!"

"It is, but it also assumes a basic knowledge that you are clearly lacking." Weiss looked over her shoulder at the black-haired girl quietly looking through a novel. "What were you _thinking?"_

"I learned a lot about economics as a kid." Blake didn't even look up from her book. "I guess I figured she'd know about all of that already."

"Hrmph." Ruby sat up, shutting her book with a scowl. "You know what? It's saturday. It's the weekend. And this paper isn't due until wednesday. I've got time."

"Ruby--"

"And you know what?" she continued over Weiss's objection. "We need to have some team bonding! We're doing well in classes, especially after that Boarbatusk incident, but come on, girls!" Ruby stood up, waving her hand around the room. "We'll be living together for years! It's time to have some team fun!"

"Hell yeah!" the blonde shouted, fistpumping as she stood. "What's the plan, sis?"

"I'm glad you asked, Yang! Today, we're going to go out and conquer the Vale Arcade! And there's nothing from Remnant that can stop us!"

She marched to the door, swung it open, and blinked at the purple-and-glitter robot standing on the other side.

"....uh..."

"DE **LIV** ERY FOR **TEAM** **R** _ **R**_ **R** _ **R**_ **WBY!"** the robot declared epically, thrusting out a thin box.

"Um." Ruby took the package hesitantly, uncertainly eyeing the machine's visor. "...thaaaaanks...?"

The robot lifted a fist in salute. "FARE THEE WELL!" It promptly exploded.

Ruby looked at the shattered remains of the metal figure now scattered in front of her.

"...That just happened, right?" She turned around, facing her team with a baffled look. "A glittery Atlas Knight gave us a box and exploded?"

"That... does seem to be what happened," Blake admitted cautiously.

"Oooookay, so... should we open the box?"

Yang tilted her head. "Why wouldn't we?"

"It could be some sort of trap," Weiss pointed out. "Somebody could be trying to kill us with a hand-delivered bomb."

"Okay first of all that's insanely paranoid, secondly, we all have aura, thirdly, if it _is_ true they obviously put the bomb in the robot so they're clearly not the most competent assassins." Yang crossed her arms. "I vote we open it."

Blake frowned. "You both have good points... but I'm going to say we use one of my shadow clones to open it. Safer for everyone that way."

Ruby nodded. "Yeah... here you go. Girls, get ready for an explosion!"

Blake took the box and, as her teammates scattered to the corners of the room, carefully gripped the underside of the lid. In one complicated motion, she lifted it while simultaneously splitting off from herself and diving behind a bed with Yang.

Dead silence filled the room for a moment.

"...I think," Yang said slowly, "that we're all being a little bit ridiculous."

Ruby sighed as she pulled herself out of the corner. "I mean yeah, but this is a package delivered by an _exploding robot!"_ She poked the frozen Blake, catching the box as the black-haired girl vanished in a puff of shadow. "That's just completely nuts!"

Weiss sighed as she extracted herself from the closet. "I think my wariness was perfectly justified."

"Huh." Ruby tilted her head. "It's a scroll--like a big one, the kind professor Goodwitch uses. And there's also a letter."

"Well?" Yang hopped onto the bed, sitting on it eagerly. "Let's hear what it says!"

"Okay okay. Ahem hem hem... 'Greetings Team RWBY, and congratulations on your selection to participate in this Multiple Universe Sociological Experiment.' Okay what."

"Multiple universe?" Weiss frowned. "Is this some sort of prank?"

"'There is in fact another reality in which a popular show chronicles the adventures of Team RWBY, a fictional group to which your lives and appearances are identical. That is to say, to this world, you are a fantasy story.'"

Blake snorted as she sat down next to Yang. "Well if that isn't existentially disturbing, I don't know what is."

"'As a popular series, the show has developed a fandom, and as a fandom, there are many common memes and in-jokes that have been created. The tablet we have delivered has a list of such memes, with the explanations and context mostly scrubbed from them.'"

Yang burst out laughing. "Oh no, this! This is going to be HORRIBLE!"

"'These memes do originate and extend throughout the series, and have been helpfully arranged by volume and other origins. For reference, you are currently a little over midway through volume one. This does mean that the memes in question do reference things that happen in your future.'"

"Because of course," Weiss grumbled.

Ruby narrowed her eyes at the final paragraph. "'Your task is to read these memes, attempt to determine future events through them, and act as you see fit. Exactly what manner and order you choose to read the memes is left entirely up to you, though we have arranged things in a recommended order. Feel free to curse us out if you like, that is also part of the experiment, but know that the future events are crucial to your lives. Signed: Jonerik P. Lot deVize, scientist of Prolific Research and Outrageous Science Enterprises.'"

For a moment, the room was silent.

"...so this is probably a stupid prank," Weiss summed up.

"A stupid prank with an exploding robot and a large tablet," Blake deadpanned.

"Hey, this sounds like the best kind of stupid fun," Yang pointed out. "I mean yeah, it's probably not real, but learning what our so-called fans think of us could be hilarious."

"Trust me," said Weiss blandly, "that's not nearly as fun as it sounds."

"I mean, it's probably fake," Ruby admitted. "Probably. But... if it's real... we should still read these memes?"

Weiss crossed her arms. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... have you ever read a story where the heroes _didn't_ face some sort of trouble?" Ruby looked around at the others. "We're huntresses--or, well, we're going to be. We have a responsibility to protect people, and if something bad is going to happen and we could not make it happen by reading this, then..."

She trailed off, shrugging awkwardly.

Weiss sighed, a long, low resigned sigh. "Well... I guess I don't see a reason not to."

"I'm sure no matter what else, this will be an educational experience," Blake mused.

"Also fun," Yang added. "Don't forget fun. And embarrassing, and hilarious."

Ruby smiled and rolled her eyes, shutting the dorm door on the exploded remains of the robot. "Well I did say nothing _from_ Remnant would stop us going to the arcade... Alright. Let's do this."


	2. Chapter 1: And to the Surprise of No One, X is Y

The pane of plastic glowed in Ruby's hands, various words in boxes arrayed before her. She hummed thoughtfully. "So, there's a General, Manga, and Chibi section, and then there are a lot of sections for all the volumes. Volume one, Volume two... Volume three has two sections, for some reason... anyway." She lowered the pane thoughtfully. "What do we want to start with?"

"I think we should try the general section first," Blake suggested. "Get a feel for what we're in for, before we get to... whatever disturbing revelations are in the volume stuff."

"Blake." Yang stood up, putting her hands on her hips. "Blake. These are memes. Stupid fan jokes. There is no way they're going to be at all disturbing."

Weiss rubbed her eyebrows. "Yang, speaking as somebody who has actually been something of a media star her whole life, you are entirely in the wrong there." She sat down next to Blake and turned toward Ruby with a sigh. "That said, I think Blake does have a valid point. Maybe we should do... how many memes are in the general list?"

Ruby tapped the screen, her eyes going wide. "A... lot, actually."

"Well... I think twenty general memes, and then go through the volumes."

Yang tilted her head. "Why twenty?"

"It's memes, Yang. They have to be short and snappy."

"Okay." Ruby nodded as her sister sat down next to her. "So, I'm pretty sure I know what this first meme is."

**[ _This_ is the day we've waited for.]**

"That's certainly a line," Weiss quipped.

"Yeah, a line from a song. 'This will be the Day.'" Ruby smiled fondly. "I was actually listening to it when Roman Torchwick tried to rob the dust shop I was in."

Blake blinked. "You were in a robbery?"

"I _stopped_ a robbery," Ruby said proudly. "In fact, that's the entire reason Ozpin let me in early!"

"Yeah, Ruby beat up the goons that were trying to steal from an old man," Yang said proudly, ruffling her sister's hair. "I was kind of amazed when I heard that. Shame Torchwick got away though."

"Yeah..." Ruby shrugged. "Career criminal, makes sense he'd have an out. Anyway, so one of the lines in the song is 'this will be the day we've waited for' and, well, it makes for a good one-liner I guess."

Her sister gestured grandiosely. "'Yang has defeated her rival, JerkMan! _This_ is the day we've waited for!'"

"Makes sense to me," Blake admitted. "I guess these memes won't be so bad."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Give it time..."

**[Aura]**

"...Aura what?"

Ruby waved a hand at the screen, nonplussed. "That's just it. It's just Aura. That's the meme."

Weiss stared at her, agape. "What? But that's... that's like saying Dust is a meme! Or Combat Skirts or, or something!"

Blake sighed, pulling out a notepad. "I'm just going to make a list of memes we don't understand. I get the feeling it's going to be a long list."

**[Cyborg Jaune]**

"Okay, I'm calling it." Yang pointed. "That one? That's a fandom injoke."

Ruby tilted her head. "What do you mean, Yang?"

"Somebody drew fanart of Jaune as a cyborg or something, and everyone thought it looked cool, so now it's baked into the fandom."

"I've heard of worse origin stories for memes," Weiss muttered.

**[Kerry Who?]**

Blake rolled her eyes. "Ah, yes, the character that nobody ever remembers but gets popular for that _one_ scene."

"I kinda feel bad for this guy," Ruby admitted. "I mean, sure, background characters are background characters, but this is our life--Remnant is real. At least to us... uh..."

She looked down at the scroll for a moment, then shook her head.

"...what I'm saying is, maybe we should keep an eye out for this Kerry guy and make sure he's not just being ignored."

"What I want to know is what the heck kind of name is Kerry," Yang grumbled. "I mean... I know there are still pre-war names floating around, but Kerry?"

**[Dishwasher can see the future!]**

Weiss stared at the scroll, baffled. "...how in the world did these people come up with the idea of a _prophetic dishwasher?"_

"I..." Blake shook her head. "I... don't even know."

"I mean, we're talking about _memes,"_ Yang pointed out. "Like, a lot of memes are just 'oh hey that looks similar to that other thing in that other work,' right? I don't think there are prophetic dishwashers on Remnant, but like..." She shrugged, awkwardly. "Maybe it's just that Beacon's emblem looks like a dishwasher from another show?"

"Or something equally stupid," Weiss grumbled.

Ruby let out an awkward laugh. "Well, if any of us get visions in the kitchen, let's make sure we tell each other."

**[And, to the surprise of no one, X is Y.]**

"Writing joke," Weiss said simply. "Somehow things that should have been twists really aren't."

Blake quietly reached up and adjusted her bow. "Yeah... probably that." She glanced around, seeing everyone focused on the scroll, and let out an unheard breath.

**[Describing the series via references.]**

Ruby stared at the screen. "References to... what, exactly?"

"Other series?" Yang shrugged. "Memes aren't exactly made in a vacuum."

Weiss narrowed her eyes at her. "How do you know so much about how memes come to pass anyway?"

"Weiss, Weiss, _Weiss!_ _I_ am a _teenager!"_ Yang grinned a bedazzling grin. "I'm practically guaranteed to be an expert on memes!"

"But references to _what?"_ Ruby muttered, staring at the screen. "What could possibly be so memetic about _references?"_

Blake sighed, sketching down another note. "I'm going to put that under 'memes we don't understand.'"

**[Potatoes.]  
==>[Now an Ascended Meme, with the _Grimm Eclipse_ game's lowest quality setting being "Potato" (albeit "potato" video quality is a joke all by itself).]**

"Oh!" Ruby blinked. "This meme has a sub-meme... and... apparently we have a video game?"

"What?" Yang looked over her shoulder. "Seriously?"

"Yeah... wait, I thought the guy said they were scrubbing all explanations."

"Clerical error, I... guess." Weiss frowned. "We have a video game, with a quality setting called Potato."

Blake frowned. "Potato. Why potato?"

Yang shook her head. "I don't know. Best guess is something to do with farming equipment not being suited to run most video games."

"Or potatoes being all lumpy," Ruby agreed. "Maybe it's something to do with the animation style of the show."

"This is a weird one..." Weiss turned to Blake. "Can we mark that down as another meme we don't get?"

"...sure."

**[Combat Skirts]**

Everyone slowly turned to look at Weiss.

"...I... I don't even know," she admitted. "Combat skirts. First Aura, then combat skirts. Who _are_ these people?"

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Not Huntresses, I can tell you that much."

**[ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA]**

"Yeah, no way we're ever getting that one," Yang said flatly. "Mark it down as another 'we don't know' and let's move on."

**[Entire Team.]**

"...well, yes," Weiss said, "we are an entire team. I don't see how an entire team is memetic."

"Maybe it's a statement?" Yang offered. "'The ENTIRE TEAM.' Like... we're doing something with the entire team. Somehow."

"It could be something like 'we'll always bring the entire team with us,'" Blake offered.

"You know what? Actually, yeah, I like that. What do you think, Ruby, entire team?"

"Entire team!" Ruby cheered. "Team RWBY forever!"

Weiss scoffed, but couldn't help a small smile. "I guess that wouldn't be so bad. What's next on the list?"

"Oh, let me--" Ruby looked down at the screen and blushed. "A-actually let's, uh, let's just skip--"

"Oh no no no." Yang plucked the scroll from her sister's hand, holding it out of reach as Ruby tried desperately to reclaim it. "Part of the fun is the embarrassment, and--"

Her eyes lighted on the screen, and she grinned broadly. "Ooooooooh. This is a _good_ one."

"Yang, come on." Ruby huffed. "You don't know how she'll react!"

"She?" Blake blinked. "Wait, this meme isn't about _Ruby?"_

Yang grinned, looked directly at Blake, and opened her mouth.

**[Bellabooty.]**

Dead silence filled the room.

Ruby, slowly, retracted her arm and offered Blake an apologetic, embarrassed smile. It was nothing like Yang's broad toothy grin, accompanied by one salaciously raised eyebrow. Weiss, after blinking for a moment, idly leaned back, her gaze deliberately facing up toward the ceiling and not, no matter what anyone claimed, glancing down at the rear of the girl sitting next to her.

Blake stared.

She shut her eyes, taking a long, slow breath.

"...So," she finally said. "To these people, we are fictional. As such, we must accept that there are going to be, ah, _opinions_ that would not be expressed otherwise." She casually, oh so casually, adjusted her position so that the sheets of the bed just so happened to wrap around her seat. "However, such opinions are not the intent of this experiment."

"Oh come on, Blake, you're butt's so awesome people in other worlds are talking about it!" Yang's toothy grin didn't abate. "Aren't you proud of that?"

"Yaaaaang--" Ruby whined.

"I think," Blake said flatly, "that we should move on." She reached to her left and gently but firmly pushed Weiss back up to a full upright position.

Yang chuckled, but conceded the point with a shrug, returning to the scroll. "Oh, well, this next one is fun."

**[The idea that the world of Remnant is populated entirely by homosexuals.]**

"Hey now!" Ruby cried, "that's asexual erasure!"

"And bisexual erasure," Blake added, with a faint twitch of her lips.

"And _pan_ sexual erasure," Yang continued for good measure.

"What about straight people?" Weiss asked.

Yang shrugged. "I've yet to meet any."

Blake managed a wry grin. "I have. You're lucky."

"I think Jaune might be straight." Ruby tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Maybe. I dunno."

"That dunce?" Weiss groaned. "Yeah, he probably is."

"Anyway, this meme tells us nothing except we have a reputation for being gay," Ruby pointed out. "Which... yeah okay, I could see that."

**["That was Mojojoj fast"]**

Ruby tilted her head, giving Yang a look. "Mojojo?"

"No, Mojojoj with a j on the end." Yang showed her the screen. "See?"

"Mojojoj fast..." Weiss ran it through her head. "Mojojoj... maybe it's an onomatopoeia?"

"I could see that," Ruby admitted. "Mojojoj, mojojoj, mojojoj, like... like a train engine or something."

"Or a galloping horse," Blake pointed out. "Which begs the question--what _is_ it that's so fast?"

"Me!" Ruby declared. "I'm mojojoj fast!"

"Well, sure, but then the meme would be _'Ruby_ is mojojoj fast' not _'that_ was mojojoj fast.'"

"Maybe it's... a technical thing?" Yang offered. "Like how fast the episodes for the show come out."

"...maybe," Weiss said doubtfully. "What's the next meme on the list?"

**[Weiss you useless lesbian!]**

"Wh-what?!" the white-haired girl sputtered.

"That's what it says," Yang repeated. "'Weiss you useless lesbian.'" She grinned broadly. "Anything you care to share with the class, miss Schnee?"

"I--!"

Weiss paused, taking a moment to collect herself.

"...am not entirely surprised," she continued, "that these people view me as such a paragon of loveliness they would indulge in romantically pairing me with others. Nor am I surprised they would express frustration when I remained professional enough to not do so in the show itself."

Blake, Yang, and Ruby all stared at her, deadpan.

"...Paragon of loveliness?" Blake said dryly.

"Yes." Weiss kept her expression stoic. "I am... well aware of how good I look."

"Mmmhmm." Yang nodded slowly. "And the lesbian part?"

"I have not explored my sexuality enough to determine its accuracy."

"Weren't you looking at Blake's butt earlier?" Ruby asked.

"No," said Weiss, trying and failing to fight back a blush.

The other three continued staring at her for a moment longer.

"...Well, now we know why she's useless as a lesbian," Yang declared firmly.

"I am not usele--! I mean, I'm not a--I mean, I wouldn't be, but I'm not--I'm _probably_ not--"

"Person-specific memes," Blake muttered, adding a new list to her sketchbook. "Three."

**[Best girl]**

"Oh this one's easy," Yang pointed out. "Different fans have different characters as their favorites, so they'll say 'Best Girl Is Yang' or whatever."

"More like _worst_ girl," Weiss grumbled, still blushing.

"Hey now!" Yang grinned. "I'm not the one making these memes!"

"You are kind of the one teasing everybody, though," Ruby pointed out.

Yang glanced at her for a moment. Then she sighed. "Okay, look, I'm just trying to have fun with this. Like, it's pretty likely there's going to be some 'Yang' memes in here too, and you can all tease me about it. I didn't mean to go too far." She bowed her head. "I'm sorry, Weiss."

"...Just... don't let it happen again."

"Alright." Yang cleared her throat. "So, uh, how many more memes before we hit twenty?"

"Four," Ruby replied. "I've been keeping track."

**[We crashed the servers... again.]**

"How... is it possible to crash servers?" Weiss asked, aghast. "I mean... it's got to be next to impossible, right?"

"It's actually pretty easy," Blake said dryly, "if you know what you're doing."

Weiss gave her a look. "How would you know that?"

"I lived on the road for a while. You have to pick up tech skills if you don't want your scroll to just break."

Weiss stared at her for a few moments.

"I... _suppose_ that makes sense..."

"What really gets me is the 'again,'" Yang said, staring at the scroll in her hands. "Like... why again? What did you do to crash it before?"

Blake frowned. "...from context, I'm guessing the system couldn't handle everyone coming in to do... whatever it is they do. So either it's a really bad system, or..."

"...or?" Ruby prompted.

"...or there are a lot of users."

"You mean fans," Yang pointed out.

"Yes." Blake quietly crossed her arms over herself. "Fans."

"...the letter did say the show was popular," Ruby offered weakly.

"Of course it is." Yang grinned. "I'm in it, after all!"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Yes, that's _absolutely_ the only reason. What's next?"

**[Red Sun]**

"...But the sun is yellow," Ruby said, confused.

"It can rise red," Blake told her. "If the atmosphere is just right. I'm not sure of the details, but I've seen it happen."

"So... a particular sunrise?" Yang frowned quietly. "Why would a particular sunrise be memetic?"

The room was quiet for a moment.

"This is another one of these that we're just not going to get, isn't it," Weiss said in utter deadpan.

"Yep." Blake made a note. "Brings our count up to five. Or... six?"

**[(Adjective) Weiss]**

Weiss groaned. "Seriously?"

"Well, you're certainly popular!" Yang quipped.

"Why adjective Weiss? What does adjective even mean in this context?"

"It's in parenthesis," Ruby noted. "So maybe it's a fill-in-the-blank meme. Happy Weiss, Dangerous Weiss--"

"Snooty Weiss," Blake added.

"Prissy Weiss!" Yang offered.

"Annoyed Weiss," Weiss growled.

"Let's lay off Weiss," Ruby said quickly. "We've almost read twenty memes--just one more and we'll switch over to the Volume One memes."

"I hope that'll be more insightful then the stuff we've read so far," Weiss grumbled.

**[To Be Continued]  
==>[Now in Chibi form!]**

"Oh, another meme with a submeme." Ruby shrugged. "Well, this one is obvious."

"Our show likes cliffhangers?" Blake suggested.

"Our show likes cliffhangers," Ruby agreed.

"So in review..." Weiss started counting off on her fingers. "There are many, many injokes dependent on things we can't know about. Nevertheless the show has a large number of fans, and by extension we do as well. We are apparently, ahem, considered attractive enough that there are comments on it, but our fans all assume we are gay. For some reason. And the story has a lot of cliffhangers..."

She paused. "What does 'Now in Chibi Form' mean?"

"Oh, chibi's a kind of art style," Ruby explained. "The characters' heads take up half their body mass and it's adorable."

"Huh." Weiss looked at the scroll oddly. "How does that derive from 'to be continued'?

"Fanart?" Ruby shrugged helplessly. "Look, I dunno, this whole thing is crazy."

"No argument here," Yang agreed. "So who's going to read the Volume One memes?"

"I vote Weiss!" Ruby declared.

"What?" Weiss blinked. "Why me?"

Ruby shrugged. "I mean, me and Yang did all the reading this time, so it's between you and Blake. No offense," she added, turning toward Blake, "but... team bonding, partners, right?"

Blake nodded, tapping her notebook. "Besides, if Weiss is reading, I can continue taking notes."

"Oh very well... we're midway through volume one anyway, if that letter is at all right. It's not as though we're likely to discover anything we don't know." Weiss held out her hand. "Yang? Hand me that scroll."


	3. Chapter 2: It's Also A Gun

"Here you go, Weiss." Yang handed over the scroll with a grin. "Wanna bet the fans made more embarrassing quips?"

"No bet." Weiss rolled her shoulders. "If they're going for realism, we'll all get some sort of joke aimed at us."

"Going for... Wait." Ruby frowned. "You still don't think this is real?"

"Honestly? No."

"Even though this scroll came in a box delivered by an exploding robot?"

"That is... _unusual,_ but given the entirety of this situation I can believe our theoretical prankster has a flair for the dramatic and resources to pull that off."

"But then why were you so invested in the whole 'useless lesbian' thing?"

"Well first of all," Weiss said flatly, "I was called a useless lesbian. That's insulting whether or not this is real."

"Oh."

"Secondly," she continued, "even if this _isn't_ real, it's presented in a framework where it's presumed to be. It's like any video game or novel that way. It's better to enjoy it as a reality for a brief time then to dismiss it entirely."

"That's..." Blake blinked. "That's surprisingly deep."

"Yes... well." Weiss cleared her throat. "My mother used to be a deep thinker, before..."

She trailed off.

"...Before...?" Yang prompted.

Weiss glared at her.

Yang held up her hands. "Hey, just curious!"

"It's... not relevant." Weiss shook her head, tapping the screen. "Let's go through this entirely nonsensical list of jokes. Oh, good, this one _isn't_ about me..."

**[Ruby will do anything for cookies.]**

Yang burst out laughing.

"I'm not--" Ruby began, and then deflated. "Great. Fine. Yes, I like cookies. Who doesn't? I mean, strawberries are my favorite food, but come on!"

"Well, presuming this is an actual show," Blake said, eyeing Weiss oddly, "is there any particular cookie-related moment that the fans would have noticed?"

"...I guess it could be when Ozpin talked to me," Ruby admitted. "He had a plate of cookies. But... the only people in the room were me, him, and Glynda."

"It could just be a general observation," Weiss offered over Yang's continued laughter. "You do eat cookies a lot."

Ruby sighed. "Okay, what's the next one?"

**[I. Drink. Milk!]**

Yang's laughter redoubled.

Weiss gave her a confused look. "Uh..."

"I said that," Ruby explained, her cheeks pink. "Before initiation."

"...whyyyyy?" Blake asked.

"I was saying I was an adult because... I... drink milk."

Weiss stared at her.

"Look it was a sister fight," Ruby insisted. "Like between sisters! Weird things get said! It happens!"

"...If you say so," Weiss said, giving Yang an odd look.

"What gets me is that this is something you said to Yang before initiation," Blake admitted. "The cookie thing, anybody could make that up after watching you at lunch, but this is a specific moment."

"So we have a stalker," Weiss muttered.

"Or the multiple universe thing is real," Blake countered.

"...One coincidence doesn't mean anything."

Ruby fidgeted. "I'd actually be more comfortable with us being characters in another world than with the idea that somebody's been stalking me in real life."

Weiss opened her mouth to reply... then considered for a moment. "...huh."

"What, you'd be okay with a stalker?"

"No, it's more that I've basically had people watching me my whole life. Being a Schnee and all..." The heiress shrugged. "I guess I'm just so used to the idea that the concept of being a storybook character is the stranger one to me."

Blake hmmed thoughtfully. "I suppose I could see that..."

Yang, finally managing to pull back her laughter, took a few bracing breaths. "Okay. Okay. Sorry. Where were we?"

"Right, right, sorry." Weiss looked down at the screen. "Next on the list is _oh come on."_

**[Great Weiss Shark]**

"No," Weiss said as Yang opened her mouth. "I don't want to hear it."

"But--"

"You're the only one of us that hasn't gotten a personal meme yet, Yang. You don't get to say anything about them until you do."

Yang considered the point. "Fair enough. Blake, Ruby, you wanna take this?"

"I guess Weiss is... sharky. I mean..." Ruby weighed the subject in her hands. "Sharks are goal-oriented hunters, Weiss is a goal-oriented huntress... I can see it."

"Rough outer surface, sharp teeth..." Blake nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, I could see how you can be a shark."

"...so it's a compliment, then."

"It's probably one of those things where it's a compliment and a joke at the same time."

Weiss hummed quietly to herself. "...You know, it was always too cold in Atlas to take swimming lessons--"

"Oh! Oh!" Ruby hopped up. "I can teach you how to swim! I grew up on an island!"

"I could too," Yang added. "Same reason."

"I am also a decent swimmer," Blake admitted.

Ruby gasped. "We could make a day out of it! RWBY beach day!"

Weiss allowed herself a small smile. "That sounds like it could be fun."

**[Ozpin is a Troll: Proof.]**

"So am I just banned from talking about memes about us," Yang asked, "or can I weigh in on this one?"

"I mean it's another obvious one," Ruby pointed out. "Ozpin is... I'm not going to say, like, a prankster, but he does have that air of 'I know something you don't know' about him."

"And he did throw us all off a cliff that one time," Blake added.

"Oh yeah! Did you know Jaune was asking what a landing strategy was like literally the second he got thrown off the cliff?"

Weiss stared at Ruby. "Wait... seriously?"

"Seriously! It was all 'what's a landing strateGIIIIIIIIIIII AH FLAIL FLAIL AAAAAH!" Ruby waved her arms in demonstration, missing Yang by inches as she leaned away.

"That's just..." Weiss shook her head. "That's... how did he get _in_ this school? How did he wind up as a _team leader?"_

"I dunno. Ozpin picked him." Ruby paused. "And he let me come in two years early..."

"Hey." Yang put a hand on her shoulder. "You deserve to be here."

"I guess, but--"

"No buts. Even if this is some weird joke Ozpin's making, you wouldn't have been let in if Glynda didn't sign off on the admittance paperwork." Yang smiled. "Besides, who was it that decapitated a whole-ass Nevermore during initiation?"

"I was only able to do that because Weiss helped me."

"And I was only able to help you," Weiss countered, "because you came up with a plan that I--that we all could follow. I might not understand how Jaune became team leader, but you? I know you can be a good leader." She rolled her eyes. "Even if it will take a _lot_ of time and effort to hammer out your quirks."

"Awwwwww!" Ruby grinned. "Nice Weiss!"

"Yes, well--" Weiss cleared her throat. "Ah, the next one--oh. Um, Blake, could you read this?"

Blake looked over her shoulder. "...you just don't want to swear, do you."

"No. I do not."

"Alright, alright... the next meme is..."

**[Character X is a dick to trees.]**

"Heh." Ruby rubbed the back of her head. "We did break a lot of trees during initiation, huh? Weiss with the fire dust, me with Crescent Rose..."

"I think I smashed through some branches," Yang mused. "And I heard that Pyrrha _pulverized_ one, just barreled through with her shield."

"I have not harmed any trees," Blake deadpanned. "I'm an environmentally conscientious huntress."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, there's collateral damage when fighting Grimm. Anyway..."

**[Suggesting Character X should offer to break Target Y's legs.]  
==>[Becomes an Ascended Meme as a battle cry for Yang's fight against Mercury.]**

"Who the heck is Mercury?" Yang asked.

"Somebody whose legs we want you to break," Blake answered. "Obviously."

"Well, the Mercury thing is a... submeme, apparently." Weiss frowned. "Or another explanation. Is this going to happen every time we have... actually, what _is_ an ascended meme anyway?"

"I kinda figure it's a meme that became canon." Yang rolled her shoulders. "Like... the original meme is just 'Ruby break Torchwick's legs, Weiss break Ozpin's legs--'"

"I would _never--"_

"But then somebody in the show said 'Yang break Mercury's legs' and everyone noticed. So, something like that."

"Mmmmm." Ruby nodded sagely. "Which begs the question... who was the first to offer to break somebody's legs? The one who said it so it could become memetic?"

The four of them shared a long, slow moment of contemplation.

"Nora," Yang offered.

"Nora," Blake agreed.

"Nora," Weiss declared.

Ruby nodded. "It was definitely Nora. Or, it _will_ be, I guess."

Blake shrugged, writing down another note. "If she says anything, we'll know for certain if this has insight into the future."

**[Ren not having much stamina, often depicting him falling face-first onto the ground.]**

"O-kaaaaaay, that's... that's a strange one." Ruby glanced at the door. "I've never seen anything that makes me think Ren tires out easily."

"Yeah, he puts up with Nora," Weiss agreed, giving the scroll a baffled look. "That takes a lot of emotional endurance."

"And physical endurance," Yang added, rolling her shoulder.

Blake considered the scroll. "Maybe... it's more about the falling on his face thing? Like that happened, or will happen, and the fans made a joke about it."

"But when would it have happened?" Ruby asked.

Yang shrugged. "We could just ask him."

"Oh yes," Weiss said dryly, "let's just walk up to him and say 'an exploding robot gave us a list of jokes, so we want to know if you ever fell on your face!' I'm sure that will go over tremendously well."

"We don't have to mention the exploding robot," Yang pointed out. "Just the face-falling."

"And that isn't _more_ suspicious?"

"Hey Blake, did you ever slip in the bathtub?"

Blake blinked. "Uh... no. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." Yang turned back to Weiss. "See? Easy."

"No seriously," Blake insisted, "why that question in particular?"

Yang considered for a moment, then shrugged. "...honestly, I dunno. Just came into my head."

"Okay..."

"See?" Yang said to Weiss again. "Easy."

"Okay, but you saying that to Weiss makes me suspicious again," Blake pointed out.

"In all seriousness I was just trying to come up with an awkward-but-not-embarrassing question for the demonstration."

"See, if you had just _said_ that--"

Ruby groaned. "This questioning about questions is getting us nowhere! Let's just say we don't get this one and move on!"

"I agree," Weiss said, shaking her head. "We shouldn't waste too much time on these. They're probably all pointless jokes anyway, it's not like anything serious has cropped up."

**[Blake being fed up with everyone around her making cat puns.]**

The dark-haired girl stiffened, hands clutching at her knees.

"...Blake?" Yang gave her a concerned look. "Are you okay?"

"Why would you--?"

Weiss's question was cut off when Blake stood and walked swiftly out the door, stepping over the scattered remains of the robot.

"I... what?" Ruby blinked. "I don't--"

Weiss began to stand up. "We should go--"

Yang was between her and the door in a single stride. "You," she said, gently but firmly pushing her back down, "should stay here."

"But--"

"I am her _partner._ If she'll talk to anyone, it's me." Yang swallowed. "I hope, anyway."

"Yang," Ruby protested, "we're a team."

"I know, but... I don't think she wants to talk about this with all of us, not just yet." The blonde sighed. "Heck, I'm not sure she wants to talk one-on-one with anybody, but... even if she's not, I just want to make sure she knows she's got somebody in her corner."

Ruby nodded, slowly. "Okay. Just... we're her friends too, make sure she knows that."

"I will." Yang walked out the door, stepping over the robot parts.

"...cat puns." Weiss shook her head. _"Cat puns._ What's Blake's problem with cat puns?"

"I don't get it either, Weiss." Ruby flopped back onto the bed. "But, you know what? We can avoid cat puns if it makes her uncomfortable."

* * *

Blake leaned over the sink, taking a few ragged breaths. Slowly, she let her eyes rise up to meet her reflection in the mirror.

"Of all the ways for them to find out..."

She paused, looking up at the bow her reflection wore. Another, slower breath passed through her.

"...So that was a reaction."

Blake spun around to find Yang leaning against the doorframe. "I--Yang, it's not--"

Yang held up a hand, cutting her off. "Look. There are things... things not all of us are comfortable talking about, right? I know I've got personal crap in my past." She pursed her lips. "And... I want to say you can trust me. I really do, but I get that we've basically only known each other for a few weeks. So."

She pushed herself off the doorframe. "If you like, we can just wait here for a bit. Then when we head back, I say 'yeah Blake told me everything, but it was all very personal and we shouldn't talk about it.' That'll be good enough for Ruby, and if it's not good enough for Weiss I'll make sure she stays off your back about it."

Blake blinked. "You... you don't even know why I walked out, do you."

"No. I mean, not really." Yang shrugged. "I mean I kind of want to know why you would hypothetically hate cat puns, but... that's also tied into 'we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.' It'd be pretty hypocritical of me to ask."

"Right..."

The two of them fell quiet. Blake turned back toward the mirror, sighing at her reflection. Yang stood in the door, glancing down the hall occasionally.

"...I..."

Blake swallowed.

"...why did you come to Beacon?" she asked instead.

"You mean, why did I want to be a Huntress or why did I come to Beacon specifically?"

Blake huffed a little. "I guess... I don't know."

"Well," Yang mused, "Beacon's where my parents met--got on a team together, even--and Patch is pretty much just off the coast of Vale. It was kind of a no-brainer, once I decided I wanted to be a Huntress. And..." She considered for a moment. "Really, I just thought I wanted a thrill in my life, you know? Something to get pumped for. And now that I say that, it sounds pretty shallow..."

She gave Blake a look. "Is there any reason you wanted to come to Beacon?"

"It was close," Blake said quickly. "The closest academy when--"

She cut herself off. In the mirror, she could see Yang tried to step forward, but hesitantly pulled back, rubbing the back of her head.

"...I... came here to avoid attention. From specific people."

Yang nodded, slowly. "Okay."

"And... well..." Blake sighed. "It's just... a list of memes."

"Yeah, not the way any of us would expect our past to be outed," Yang agreed.

"It's not my _past,_ it's--"

Blake cut herself off.

"....I'm going to take a wild guess and say you have a phobia of cats."

"What," Blake said flatly.

"Hey," Yang held up her hands, "some things leave marks. I can tell Ruby not to show you cute cat pictures and--"

With a sigh, Blake reached up and undid her bow, revealing the two cat ears atop her head.

"...Ah." Yang nodded slowly. "Yeah, that would do it too."

She glanced away for a moment, wringing her hands.

"...so, uh... I guess you've dealt with... a lot. In your life."

"That's one way to put it."

"I mean, I know what it's like to be judged on appearances--"

Blake turned and frowned at her. "Really."

"Not anything like you've been through, obviously! But..." Yang gestured at herself. "Blonde girl, big boobs... a lot of people think I'm not that smart, or that I'm just... you know..."

She sighed. "My point is... I'm not going to judge you, okay? You're my partner. I'd like to think you're my friend. This?" Yang gestured at her ears. "All this changes is maybe I ask if you hear anything on a mission. And that I don't do cat jokes."

"...it's more than just me being a faunus," Blake muttered. "I mean all faunus get the slurs and the jokes, and occasionally denied service--better in some places, worse in others. I..."

She looked away, trailing off.

"Hey." Yang stepped into the bathroom. "I'm here for you, no matter what. We're all here for you. Whatever you've been through... it's okay."

"You don't even know what I am! What I've done!"

"What you are," Yang said slowly, "is a huntress."

"But--"

"What you've done is kill an Ursa, help me find an objective, and enabled my sister to epically decapitate a Nevermore." Yang spread her arms, a half-flabbergasted laugh escaping her. "I mean, she's been dreaming of being a huntress her whole life, and you made her first day as epic as _that?!"_

Blake shook her head. "Yang, I--"

"And of course that's not all you are," Yang continued. "You're a book reader, and you let Ruby talk with you about your book--even when you were annoyed at her. You're practically a ninja--and trust me, some of those kicks are amazing to watch. You're... you're my partner." She stepped forward, gently taking her hands. "You're... well, I want to think you're my friend."

"Yang..."

"And yeah, you're a faunus. And that's important--but not because of what anybody else says, not because of what society says." Yang brought Blake's hands up, peering at them with soft eyes. "It's... because you have a whole experience I can never have. Good and bad. And what you do with that, that's your choice."

Blake, weakly, managed to chuckle. "You really have no idea what you're saying, do you."

"Nope." Yang looked up with a small smile. "Not a clue."

Blake glanced at the ribbon in her hand. "...I think I understand what you mean, though."

"Okay."

"And..." Blake sighed, pulling her hands away. "I appreciate it. Really. But for now...."

She took the ribbon and tied her bow back up.

"...Ruby and Weiss are worried about you too, you know."

Blake paused. "...Both of them?"

"Weiss was actually ready to come check on you right away, I just... told her it should be your partner." Yang chuckled. "And Ruby, Ruby told me to make sure you know they're your friends too."

"...Huh." Blake ran her fingers over her ribbon. "...It's still best for me to have the bow. At least in the hallway."

A frown briefly flickered across Yang's lips, but she stepped aside. "If you're sure."

Blake paused in the doorway, her hand brushing Yang's. She looked as though she would say something for a moment... but she shook her head, stepping out.

* * *

"...and then Zwei pinned Yang to the ground and--BLAKE! YOU'RE BACK!"

A black-and-red missile slammed into Blake as she entered, depriving her of breath for a few precious seconds. "Oof! Ruby--"

"I am so so sorry for whatever that was that triggered whatever happened and we don't even have to talk about cats ever if you want I can make it a team order if you--"

"Ruby," Yang interjected, pulling her sister's arms off her partner. "It's fine. It's fine." She glanced at Blake. "It's fine?"

"It's..."

Blake took a long look at Weiss, who was standing between the beds, giving her a questioning look.

"...can you get the curtain, Weiss?" She shut the door behind her.

"Of course." Weiss turned around, quickly pulling the curtain shut. "May I ask..." She caught Yang's look and cut herself off. "Never mind."

She sat herself down on her bed, watching as Blake, closely followed by her partner, took a spot across from her. Ruby hopped in next to her looking at Blake warily.

"...So, uh, do we want to continue this silly thing, or--"

Blake sighed and, reluctantly, took her bow off.

"...Aaaaaaaaaaah." Ruby nodded. "Yeah, I can see why you'd hate cat puns."

"Why would you _hide_ this from us?" Weiss asked plaintively.

Blake glowered at her. "Because racism _exists."_

"What's THAT supposed to mean?!"

Yang scowled, but Blake gripped her hand before she could stand up.

"It means," she said slowly, "that there are people in this school that catcall Velvet because she has rabbit ears. That if I try to get a job without wearing my bow, I'll get paid a little over half a human's wage. That there are police who will arrest people with tails just for making a joke. That no matter how much of a good person you are, you still grew up with people who considered faunus a disposable resource, and picked up discriminatory habits. It means the world's not fair, and I have to live in it anyway."

Weiss gaped at her for a moment. Then, reluctantly, she nodded. "I... suppose I'm not in a position to refute that." She picked up the large scroll, but hesitated for a second. "Would... it be appropriate for me to... ask what, exactly, my bad habits are?"

Blake blinked. "...ah... well. We haven't known each other long enough for me to pick up on anything specific, but... there was your behavior with Ruby the day before Initiation..."

"Oh yeah, the Dust thing." Ruby nodded. "Yeah, you were kind of a self-absorbed brat. Past tense!" she added quickly at Weiss's glare. "You're doing better!"

Weiss shook her head. "Yes, well, we are a team, and that means we have to work together. I will try to reign in my more... problematic impulses going forward."

Blake took a breath, finally releasing Yang's hand. "...okay."

"Okay."

Ruby nodded. "Okay."

"....soooooooooooooo." Yang nodded at the scroll. "Are we all the way through the volume one memes?"

"Ah, no." Weiss cleared her throat. "There are a few more. Hopefully none as serious as that one..."

**["Boop!"]**

"...Well that's a heck of a mood whiplash," Yang quipped. "All the seriousness of cat puns, and then boop?"

"I... I don't get it." Weiss looked around. "What's boop?"

"It's, you know, when you poke somebody's nose." Ruby lifted a finger and tapped Weiss's nose. "Boop! Like that."

Weiss went crosseyed for a moment. "...why would anybody _do_ that?"

"It's a gesture of affection," Blake explained. "Although I thought it was animals bumping their noses against people?"

Yang nodded sagely. "The nose contact is the important thing. Either as the one doing the contact, or as the point of contact for the finger."

"I think it's that it's a small point?" Ruby mused. "Precision targeting."

"I cannot believe we're actually talking about a meaningless gesture so seriously."

Dead silence filled the room at Weiss's statement.

"Well, not _meaningless,"_ she quickly added, noticing the looks she was getting. "I mean, it's... affection..." She cleared her throat. "But it's memetic, so..."

"Somebody boops somebody, it's cute, the fans go nuts." Yang shrugged.

Ruby huffed. "It feels kind of strange that we're supposed to learn the future from all these silly jokes we're getting."

"Give it time," Blake muttered. "They already revealed one big secret, and we're still in the first volume."

**["It's also a gun."]  
==>[Further running with the joke, fans have been wondering when an example of a "gun-gun" (a gun which is also a gun) will show up in the series.]**

Ruby snickered. "Oh yeah, I did say that!"

"What?"

"Oh I was showing off Crescent Rose to Jaune and he said 'is that a scythe' and I said 'it's also a high-impact sniper rifle' and--" Ruby shrugged. "You really had to be there."

Weiss frowned thoughtfully. "It's also a gun. Well... we do have an abundance of multifunctional weapons at Beacon... or any other huntsman academy, honestly. Although why that would be memetic--"

"We did establish that the people watching this aren't huntresses."

Weiss blinked. "Oh... I thought you were joking."

"I mean I was," Ruby admitted, "but now it kinda feels like they have to be civilians of some kind."

"So the idea of a multifunctional weapon is kind of out of left field for them," Yang surmised. "Huh. That's... well, even in another world, that's odd."

"....unless this other world didn't have huntresses," Blake murmured.

"What kind of world has no huntresses?"

"The kind that doesn't need them." Blake exhaled softly. "The kind... without Grimm."

Yang opened her mouth... and then, slowly, shut it. "Oh."

"Oh?" Weiss put down her scroll. "Oh, is that all you have to say? The idea that people watch us risk our lives--try to save people--just for their own entertainment--!"

"Weiss! Weiss." Ruby took hold of her arm. "Think about the stories you've read, the movies you've seen! Adventure, action, drama--these people, whoever they are, that's what they see us as. They're not belittling us, okay?"

"I..." Weiss shook her head. "I just..."

She chewed her lip thoughtfully.

"...I guess." She glanced down at the screen. "I mean... these have all had the air of silly jokes. I suppose we'd do the same for any series we followed."

"Yep. So, how many more are there for this section?"

"Just one, and--"

**[Fight, fight, fight! Kiss kiss...]**

She dropped the scroll, standing up.

Ruby looked up at her warily. "...uh--"

"I am going to the sparring range," Weiss declared in monotone.

"Oh come on," Yang called after her as she walked out of the dorm, "it isn't _that--"_

The door slammed shut.

"...welp."

Blake shook her head. "Yeah, no, I kind of agree with Weiss here."

"Is it Bellabooty or Cat Puns that makes you think that?"

Blake leveled a flat look on Yang.

Ruby chuckled awkwardly. "Ooooookay! This was all... surprisingly dramatic." She picked up the scroll and quickly put it on her bed. "I think, maybe, some good sparring time would help us all, right? Before we continue?"

"Yeah." Yang nodded, standing up and stretching her arms out. "Gotta give the punching bag the ol' one-two. Oh," she added, "maybe we should clean up the robot parts outside before we go?"

Blake nodded. "That does seem like a good idea."

"Right!" Ruby nodded. "Actually, let's put them on the desk. Maybe we can figure out more about the robot later... somehow."

And so RBY sprung into action, gathering scrap metal before joining their teammate for a very, very cathartic spar. And the offending scroll lay, not forgotten, but ignored...

...until lunch the following monday.


	4. Chapter 3: On that day, humanity received a Grimm reminder...

"So! There we were, in the middle of the night--"

"It was day."

"We were _surrounded_ by Ursai!"

"They were Beowolves."

"Dozens of them!"

"Two of 'em."

"But they were no match," the enthusiastic ginger proclaimed with a broad gesture, "and in the end, Ren and I took them down and made a boatload of lien selling Ursa skin rugs!"

The dark-haired boy next to her sighed. "She's been having this recurring dream for nearly a month now."

"I _wish_ that was the weirdest thing I'd ever heard," Blake muttered.

She spared a glance toward Ruby, who had pointedly refused to add a single sweet to her plate and was very deliberately ignoring Weiss, Weiss's sly grin, and the artistically arranged assortment of cookies on Weiss's plate. Yang nudged her and, when she turned around, gave her an amused shrug and an apologetic smile.

"Ooooooo." The ginger leaned forward, wide-eyed. "I wanna hear this story!"

Blake gave her a flat look. "Trust me Nora, you really don't."

"Jaune?" The red-haired warrior at the end of the table gave a worried look at the blonde boy in ill-fitting armor. "Are you okay?"

"Huh...?" Jaune blinked, turning his eyes up. "Oh! Yeah, why?"

Ruby shrugged. "You just seemed a little... _not_ okay."

"Guys, I'm fine! Seriously!" The boy held up a thumb, trying and failing to smile. "Uh, how about you, Ruby? You don't, uh... have cookies today."

"Yes, that _is_ strange," Weiss commented, not so incidentally spearing a sweet with her fork.

Ruby winced. "You don't--Weiss, you don't eat cookies like that."

Weiss rose her utensil, delicately taking a bite out of her gruesomely impaled pastry. "I'm sure I have no idea what you mean."

"It's a finger food, you're supposed to--"

Whatever she was about to say was cut off by a sudden laugh from a nearby table. The two teams turned to see armored students busily mocking a rabbit-eared woman, who was trying her best to ignore them.

The red-haired warrior gestured at them in disbelief. "Jaune, Cardin's been picking on you since the first week of school!"

"Who, Cardin Winchester?" Jaun shook his head with an awkward laugh. "Nah, he... he just likes to mess around, Pyrrha! You know, practical jokes!"

Ruby narrowed her eyes. "He's a bully."

She didn't see the surprised look that her partner gave her.

"Oh please," Jaune scoffed. "Name _one_ time he's bullied me."

Weiss took a moment to reassess the scene at the other table, a searching expression coming across her face.

"He knocked a book out of your hand," Yang deadpanned.

"And jammed your shield into a door," Ruby added.

"And he stuffed you into a locker," Pyrrha growled. "That he launched out of school bounds. Even professor Goodwitch called him out on that."

Weiss, unnoticed by any of them, had lowered her fork, her eyes locked onto the team still harassing the rabbit-eared girl. Blake alone saw the questioning look on her face, a slow nervousness crawling up it.

Jaune's attempt at a dismissive laugh was weak. "I didn't land far from the school!" he protested.

Pyrrha took a breath. "Jaune, you know if you ever need help, you can just ask."

"Ooooh!" Nora stood up, a manic grin spreading across her face. _"We'll break his legs!"_

Every member of team RWBY snapped their eyes to her in an instant. Yang's hand reached out absently, managing to land on her partner's shoulder; Blake managed a small nod, her own hands clenched. Weiss's eyes flicked from Nora, to Cardin, back to Nora.

"Guys, really, it's fine!" Jaune insisted. "Besides, it's not like he's only a jerk to--"

"Uh," Ruby stood up suddenly, "I just remembered something important! Team RWBY, team meeting, uh, over there, now!"

"Right." Weiss shook herself. "Yes, right!"

She followed Ruby over to a corner of the cafeteria, Yang and Blake right on her heels. As soon as they were out of earshot, Ruby spun around.

"She said the thing!"

"Yeah," Blake agreed. "I mean, I'm not too surprised, it's Nora, but--"

"Right on the money," Yang muttered. "And I can see how it'd go memetic after _that."_

Weiss chewed on her lip. "So... the scroll is accurate. Ish. As accurate as memes can be, anyway." She looked back at the group they had left. "And apparently it can tell the future... somehow?"

"I mean that's what the letter said--"

"Ruby, I know what the letter said, I just--" Weiss shrugged. "I just didn't believe it, alright? Not completely. I'm _still_ not sure I believe it."

"We just got a hundred-percent accurate prediction and--"

"And it's a list of _memes!_ Silly jokes!" Weiss flung her hands out. "I mean, we're not even getting descriptions for these! We're supposed to figure out the future from this, but the best we've gotten is 'Nora will say something' and that didn't tell us any context!"

"...It's still worth doing," Yang pointed out.

"Really."

"We only read through the Volume One memes. Haven't even read all the general ones." Yang rubbed the back of her head. "And, like... if this is volume one, we're still getting introduced to stuff, right? As a story?"

"Establish the setting before hitting big events," Blake agreed thoughtfully. "Especially if the viewers are on a world without Grimm, without Huntressess..."

"We need to keep reading," Ruby said with finality. "We'll just... maybe when something obvious comes up, we'll figure out what to do with it."

Weiss pinched her brow. "I don't disagree with that, I just... it's frustrating. Is there some sort of calamity we're supposed to prevent? Are we going to be given hints to whoever is supposed to be our love interest? And..." Her eyes darted toward Blake. "There's probably going to be personal secrets unearthed, at the most random moments."

Blake fidgeted quietly. "...probably."

"Hey." Yang put her arm around Blake's shoulders. "That's why we're a team. To work on things together, right?"

"Right." Ruby nodded firmly. "So... we'll keep going until we hit another cat pun moment."

Blake's eyes lidded as she stared at her.

"You know, when suddenly things get serious and we need to talk," Ruby clarified.

"Do we have to call them cat pun moments?"

"We can workshop that," Yang offered.

Weiss cleared her throat. "Actually... while we're on the topic..." She side-eyed Cardin and his team as the rabbit-eared girl left quietly. "Should we, uh, intervene in that?"

Blake blinked. "What?"

"I mean, the bullying," Weiss clarified. "It's--Cardin's terrible to everyone, but that was pretty blatantly racist--but, also, if a human comes to a faunus's help there's the whole dependency on humans and also I'm a Schnee so there's all that to consider and--"

Blake held up a hand. "...we... should see if Velvet is okay," she decided. "Let her know we're willing to help, but back off if she wants to handle this herself."

"Okay." Weiss nodded. "Okay. So... we should go do that, then."

"Yeah." Ruby nodded. "Yeah, let's go check in on Velvet."

"Teamwork," Yang declared. "Helping us all get better."

* * *

The rest of the day passed rather uneventfully for them, though they kept a wary eye on Cardin and his team. Weiss fidgeted awkwardly when professor Oobleck asked the class if any of them had been affected by anti-faunus bigotry, sinking in her seat at any imagined glance her way. Her teammates couldn't help noticing how quiet she was for the rest of the day.

"...Soooooooooo," Yang said when they finally returned to their dorm, "do we want to acknowledge the Goliath in the room or distract ourselves with dumb jokes from another universe?"

Ruby coughed awkwardly. "I vote for jokes, I'm not sure how to handle this Goliath."

"There's a whole horde of Beowolves between us and the Goliath," Blake added. "We'll need to get there eventually. But right now... yeah, let's go with the stupid jokes."

Weiss huffed, though a small grateful smile came across her face as she picked up the scroll. "Well, you can start us off then. You didn't read that many before."

Blake rolled her eyes, accepting the scroll and flicking through the list. "Why don't we go with some general memes to begin with? Give us a reminder of what this feels like."

"I'm down for that," Yang agreed, plopping herself down on the bed next to her.

Ruby grinned as she settled in across from them. "Who wants to bet that we get another meme about Weiss?"

The girl in question glowered at her. "Please don't tempt fate...

Blake quickly read through the list in front of her. "Okay... ah. This one's new."

**[On that day, humanity received a Grimm reminder...]  
==>[Became an Ascended Meme with this in the Rooster Teeth store.]**

"Starting off well, I see!" Yang announced with a grin.

Ruby turned her thumb down. "Booooooo! Lazy!"

"And it's an... ascended meme?" Weiss clarified. "Because of something in a Rooster store?"

"Rooster Teeth. It's capitalized." Blake frowned at the scroll. "Although there's... no picture of whatever 'this' is."

"These Rooster Teeth people must have a great sense of humor, so they made a poster or something," Yang said casually.

"And how do you figure that?" Weiss asked.

The blonde waved a hand dismissively. "I think general memes are going to be more about stuff from the fans' world and how they react then stuff about whatever our show is."

"That... does make sense," Ruby admitted. "Uh, what's the next thing, Blake?"

**[Pyrrha plush]**  
**== >[The Great One]**

"See, this just proves my point," Yang said. "Somebody makes a plush of Pyrrha, and it's considered so great the fans just love it. Nothing related to whatever our story is supposed to be, but incredible in its own way."

"Well, _that's_ frustrating," Weiss grumbled. "This thing is supposed to be some sort of prophecy. An _idiotic_ form of prophecy, but prophecy nonetheless."

"Prophets need to have fun too, you know!" Ruby's grin grew thoughtful. "Huh. You know, maybe _that's_ why prophecies are generally in rhyme or riddle form..."

**[The RWBY War of 2017]**

The group stared at Blake.

"That's what it says," she confirmed. "The RWBY War of 2017."

"Okay." Yang took a breath, bringing her fingers together thoughtfully. "This is either an address, or a date."

"Probably a date," Weiss mused. "If it were an address, it would be a location. 2017 is... a year, probably?"

"A year on what calendar?" Ruby gestured at her scroll. "We're only up to--"

"Their calendar," Blake interjected, "not ours."

"And it's likely," Yang continued, "that whatever conflict there was... they're calling it a war to be dramatic. It was probably just some fans arguing over lore details. Like..." She paused, looking around. "Um. Something... I don't know."

"...That's... reasonable? I guess?" Weiss shook her head. "Still, the idea that our fans would be so passionate as to get involved in an argument that could be called a _war..._ I don't know how I feel about that..."

Ruby shook her head. "So long as nobody got hurt--physically or emotionally--I think it's probably fine." Her expression was uncertain. "Probably. I... hope."

Blake looked around the room, cleared her throat, and read the next entry.

**[Ground Rules, G R O U N D R U L E S]**

"See?" Yang gestured. "Being overly serious about something. That's probably all it is."

Weiss and Ruby both still looked uncomfortable.

"...And even if it isn't," Yang continued, "there's going to be bad eggs in every group. That doesn't mean all our fans are bullheaded."

Blake frowned quietly, but nodded. "There will always be people worth saving... even if they're not the ones in charge."

"Yeah. Not, uh, how _I'd_ have phrased it, but--"

 _"Anyway,_ this next one looks like a very funny joke," Blake declared.

**["Looks like they've been taking tips from ArcSys."]**

Everyone stared at Blake.

"...or maybe it's only funny to me," she offered, not meeting their eyes.

Yang opened her mouth, paused, and instead wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"...ArcSis?" Ruby offered. "Like, what, Jaune's sister?"

"It's spelled with a y," Blake replied. "Short for system."

"So..." Weiss hummed thoughtfully. "Arc System. A technology company?"

"Why would we need tips from a technology company?"

Yang laughed. "You do have a pretty impressive scythe, Rubes."

"Oh. Well." Ruby nodded firmly. "Well, I made it myself. So clearly I'm better than this Arc System technology company at... this technology."

Weiss hummed. "Don't assume anything."

**[Fans telling Monty Oum that he needs to get some sleep.]**

"So... who is Monty Oum?" Ruby asked.

"If we're accepting that this is a show, he's probably a lead actor or producer," Weiss mused. "And if he's being told he needs to get some sleep, he probably puts a lot of work into the show."

Blake shrugged. "That makes sense to me. And if the creators are as passionate as the fans, I... suppose I appreciate their work."

Yang hummed at that. "Yeah, if the weird exploding robot lets us meet this Monty guy, we should probably talk shop or something."

**["God DAMNIT, Barb!"]**

"Oh, I've got this." Yang spread her hands. "So there's a barbed fence or something, and one of the showmakers gets hurt on it--bad enough that they have to delay the show for a bit, so it's probably one of the main actors or something. And of course this gets out, so any other delay is jokingly blamed on the barbed fence."

"Or somebody named Barb is known for their dumb pranks," Ruby suggested.

Yang scoffed. "Oh come on, Rubes, who would name their kid _Barb?"_

 _"You_ would."

The blonde opened her mouth, paused, and conceded the point with a one-shoulder shrug. "Yeah, Barb is a pretty badass name, actually."

**[Jaune has a Mexican cousin called "Juane".]**

Blake stumbled a bit on the last word. "Ju-ane--uh... Hwaane? Joan? It's--it's Jaune's name, but the u and a are switched," she explained awkwardly.

Weiss shrugged. "Apparently this Mexica place has a name like that, and people decided to make Jaune a cousin because..." She rolled her hand vaguely. "Word humor."

"I wonder if Mexica has taccos," Ruby muttered. "Or maybe I'm just hungry for taccos..."

**[Character X is trapped on the moon and is writing a Moon-Log.]**

"Well that's as good an explanation as any for why Professor Peach isn't around as much," Yang declared.

Weiss gave her a flat look. "That she's on. The moon."

"It's a nonsense joke," Blake pointed out. "Probably some fanart that got widespread. Or some other media that got released around the time as the show." She turned back to the list. "And this next one will be number ten..."

**[Scarletisms]**

"The heck is a scarletism?" Ruby asked.

"Sayings common among people with red color schemes," Yang replied.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Oh, right, sure, the old 'color personality' thing. That's just a superstition, Yang."

"Sure, sure, but as a meme it is just stupid enough to be funny."

Weiss groaned. "I hate that you have a point..."

Blake gave her a look for a moment. Then she sighed. "Would anybody object to me opening up the Volume 2 list? You know, so we get more, uh, _useful_ memes."

"I'm more than alright with that," Ruby agreed.

"Scarletisms." Yang chuckled. "Like, I dunno, 'weapons are cool.'"

"Oh GROW UP Yang!"


	5. Chapter 4: You Just Activated My Trap Card

Weiss rolled her eyes at Ruby. "Alright, calm down. This is the first volume that is explicitly in our future."

"Well, _entirely_ in our future," Blake pointed out. "We were only partway through the first volume when we started. For all we know, we could still be in volume one."

"It would be nice to have a calendar of exactly when these volumes are supposed to start and end," Ruby mused. "But then again, how many stories have explicit dates?"

Yang chuckled. "Yeah, so long as the story doesn't require precision timing not too many authors bother with small details."

Blake tapped the scroll. "Still, maybe we'll get a hint if we pay attention..."

 **[Volume 2, now with** _**DIVERSITY!** _ **]**

Blake actually smiled at that, if a little sardonically. "Good for them."

"I... don't get it," Weiss said. "What's the joke?"

Blake sighed, putting the scroll down. "Weiss, in all the films you've seen, how many times has an incidental character been a faunus?"

"Well," Weiss began, and then paused. "Well," she tried again, "there... have to have been a few. I know there are some very famous faunus actors who've played well-known roles..."

"Roles that required the actor be a faunus?"

"I... suppose?"

Blake nodded. "There's a tendency in many mediums to just assume a default. That any background character fits into a specific group. Like, say, that there's no reason for a random shopkeep to be a faunus, so it's easier to hire a human extra." She let her eyes fall. "And that lack of representation... that means any of us wanting to see ourselves in the books we read, or the movies we watch, have to see ourselves in the roles that are built from the ground up to be A Faunus Character."

Her hand absently brushed against the bow on top of her head.

Weiss opened her mouth, paused, and shut it again.

"...So, the idea that they're including more faunus," Blake continued, "that's actually... that's a good thing. I don't want to be just 'the token faunus' in this show. I want to be Blake Belladonna. Who is a faunus, that's a part of me, but it's not..."

She shook her head. "It's a complicated situation."

"Plus these people think you're fiction," Ruby added.

"Yeah, that." Blake's wry smile returned. "So some of these are _probably_ going to be dumb cat jokes, but as long as that's not all it is..."

Yang put a gentle hand on her shoulder, smiling softly when Blake glanced at her.

"...Right. Right, um, anyway." Blake cleared her throat. "So! Next one."

**[Poipoipoipoi]**

"Poi poi poi poi?" Yang asked.

"Poipoipoipoi," Weiss corrected.

"Poipoipoi," Ruby mused. "Poipoipoi poipoi poi _poi_ poi."

Yang reacted with shock. "Poi _poi?!"_

"Poi," Weiss replied, nodding firmly.

"Poipoipoi poi _poi_ poipoi!" Ruby declared with a single finger. "Poi poipoi poi, poi poi _poi_ poi, poi _poi_ poipoi poi!"

Blake looked furtively at them. "...Somebody clue me in on what's going on?"

"We're repeating a nonsense word for fun," Yang explained.

"So... you understand this meme?"

"Not at all," Ruby replied. "But you know..."

Blake stared at her. "I... don't, actually."

The others stared back, uncomprehending, until Weiss had a moment of revelation. "You're an only child, aren't you?"

"Um... yes," Blake admitted slowly. "What does... what does that have to do with anything?"

"I'll explain later." Weiss gestured at the scroll. "Why don't we continue?"

Blake gave her one last baffled look, before turning back to the scroll.

**["Notice me, Cinder-senpai!"]**

Ruby tilted her head. "Cinder-whatnow?"

"Senpai," Blake explained. "It's a word from northeast Mistral. It sort of means 'older student who is also a mentor.'" She rolled her hand thoughtfully. "But there's also a common implication, in some stories, of kouhai--younger students--falling in love with their senpai. How seriously it's taken varies, but it's not uncommon for entire romcoms to have various kouhai falling for their senpais or even just _one_ senpai..."

She noticed the looks she was getting and coughed into her fist. "Basically, in this context somebody probably really admires whoever Cinder is and the fandom decided to exaggerate their reactions as a joke." Subconsciously, she brought the scroll in front of her face, trying to hide her faint blush.

"So like..." Yang rubbed her chin. "Is this usually a 'you're hot' kind of crush, a more real 'oh god I love you' thing, or is it like whatever Weiss has for team CFVY?"

"HEY!"

"Depends on the story, but it can be a mix of all three. But yeah, Weiss is totally senpai-ing CFVY."

_"HEY!"_

"Don't worry Weiss," Ruby assured her partner, "I kinda senpai them too."

Weiss groaned. "Look, this meme isn't even about me! It's about... whoever Cinder is!"

"Well I'm sure Cinder will notice you one day," Yang reassured her with a toothy grin.

Weiss buried her face in her hands. "Why is this my life?"

**["You just activated my trap card!"]**

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Ruby jumped in her seat. "I know this! This is Remnant: The Game! Which means we're totally going to play it all together!"

Weiss leaned away from her. "What are you--?"

"It's a board game," Yang explained. "Supposedly set right after the Great War ended. Each player takes the role of one of the kingdoms trying to rebuild and become The Greatest Kingdom, and there's a LOT of cards... we used to play it at home all the time."

"...huh." Weiss frowned thoughtfully. "I... guess we could play this game?"

"Yeah, Ruby never wins."

"Hey!" Ruby put her hands on her hips. "I win sometimes!"

Blake rolled her eyes, moving down the list. "Next one is..."

 **[** _**IT'S JUSTIFIED?** _ **]**

"All caps and italicized." Blake looked around at the confusion on everyone's face. "So..."

"...something unusual is justified," Yang offered. "Probably something to do with being a huntress since this other world doesn't have them."

"It... _could_ be the mechshift weaponry," Weiss mused. "I mean... if there's no need for huntresses, there's no need for extravagant weapons, right?"

Ruby shuddered, hugging herself tightly. "I don't even want to think about such a horrible thing!"

"Ruby--"

"Weapons are an extension of ourselves! They're expressions of our souls, forged by how we handle the world around us! Just, just giving everyone the same basic guns? Forcing them all to have the same tools?" The young huntress pulled her hood over her head. "What kind of hell would that be?!"

"Atlas soldiers seem to handle it pretty well," Weiss pointed out.

"...Oh god." Disgust coated Ruby's voice. "You're right. I think I'm going to puke."

Weiss snorted. "Ruby--"

"No, she's serious," Yang interjected. "Trust me. She had to spend half an hour in the bathroom when I first explained mass-produced guns."

Blake gave their team leader a look of disturbed confusion. "...Oooooookay then. Should we stop here or--?"

"No. No no..." Ruby took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and held up her hands. "Give me a moment..." She took another breath, a third, and after the fourth pulled her hood back. "Okay. Okay. I'm good. Just... yeah."

Weiss and Blake shared another worried look, but at Weiss's awkward shrug Blake let it go, turning her attention back to the scroll.

**[You think just because you've got nuts and bolts instead of squishy guts makes you any less real than me?]**

The girls all stared at the object.

"...Say that again," Ruby commanded slowly.

Blake nodded, hesitantly rereading the sentence. "...You think just because you've got... nuts and bolts instead of... squishy guts... makes you any less real than me."

Ruby nodded slowly.

"What," said Weiss without any emotion.

"I... do we meet a robot?" Yang asked. "Like, a robot person?"

"What," said Weiss again.

"We are, supposedly, protagonists," Blake mused. "Which means that something worthy of a story has to happen. And a robot person would... fit that."

"What," Weiss repeated, her face still expressionless.

"...Quick check!" Ruby held up her hands. "Quick check. If anybody here is secretly a robot, I want to say right off the bat that I will not treat you any differently, because... well, because of what that said." She gestured at the scroll. "Because you're real no matter what you're made of. I mean that. So... is anybody here secretly a robot?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm not." Yang tilted her head thoughtfully. "Although I guess one of us could be a robot without knowing about it? If this is a big twist or something."

Weiss shook her head. "No, I'm pretty sure none of us are robots. I mean... sweat and stuff." She gestured vaguely. "Who would make a robot that sweats? Or... other things?"

The girls all nodded hesitantly.

"So... robot person, maybe." Ruby bit her lip. "...Okay. Be on the lookout for robot people going forward, I guess. I don't know if that will be obvious..." She took a breath and nodded firmly. "And obviously, we have to be their friend."

"Obviously?"

"Obviously," Ruby repeated, giving Weiss a _look._ "I mean... I would have said that to them, the nuts and bolts thing, even without this list. People are people, doesn't matter if they have meat or metal or, you know, _cat ears."_

"I understand the point you're making and I do agree with it," Blake deadpanned, "but I would very much appreciate it if you didn't drag my species into the conversation just for emphasis."

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean--"

"It's fine, Ruby."

Weiss sighed. "Well... alright. I guess... I guess this robot person would most likely be from Atlas anyway."

"Most likely," Yang agreed. "So... that was one serious meme. Who wants to bet the rest will be silly?"

"It would fit the pattern," Blake admitted, looking back at the scroll.

**[Oblivious Blake]**

"Don't," she added, preemptively cutting Yang off. The blonde obediently mimed zipping her lips.

"Probably just a one-scene gag," Ruby offered with a shrug. "You get so distracted by event A that event B happens in the background and everyone's like 'yeah, you missed that.'"

"Sometimes the most pointless things will go memetic," Weiss agreed.

Blake sighed. "Well, now I'm going to be worried something's going on all the time..."

**[Neptune is the key to everyone's bisexual awakening.]**

"So hot the guys want him, and so dumb the girls dump him." Yang nodded. "Yeah, I know the type."

Ruby frowned. "But what if Neptune is a girl? So hot the girls want her, and so, uh..."

"Intense?" Weiss offered.

"Intense," Ruby agreed. "Intense enough to make guys consider other guys..."

Blake shook her head. "Honestly, this is probably just another shipping joke."

**[The Scene.]**

_"What_ scene?" Weiss snapped at the scroll. "We don't have the show, why are you--? Argh, it's things like this that convince me this whole thing is some sort of prank."

Yang chuckled. "Obviously it's the signature scene in Volume 2... whatever that scene winds up being."

"Which is not at all helpful to us, Yang."

**[Ozpin's weapon is his coffee mug.]**

Yang snorted. "Oh man, can you believe that? Like, the idea that somebody would turn a cup into a weapon--"

"Professor Oobleck's thermos is his weapon."

Yang stared at her sister.

"...What?" Ruby looked around the room, seeing the looks she was getting. "Really? None of you figured that out?"

Weiss shook her head slowly.

"Really? The obvious seams, the shifting of interlocked latchwork, it wasn't obvious?"

"...not at a glance," Blake managed.

"Well... it is."

Weiss stared at Ruby a bit longer. Then she shook her head. "So, how come these people are saying Ozpin's weapon is his coffee mug?" She gave Ruby a sidelong look. "It isn't, is it?"

"Oh, nonono, it's an ordinary mug," Ruby agreed. "You can buy mugs just like it at souvenir shops across the kingdom."

"Maybe it's some sort of joke about how we never see him walking around with a weapon," Yang offered.

"Yeah..." Blake nodded. "That would make sense."

"...Seriously, Oobleck's _thermos?"_

 _"Yes,_ Yang! Seriously!"

**[CRY SOME MORE!!!]**

"No," Ruby said firmly.

Weiss rolled her eyes with a grin. "It's _obviously_ somebody's battlecry."

"I'm still not crying. And you can't make me."

Yang chuckled at Ruby's petulant tone. "Alright, alright. Is there anything else, Blake?"

Blake nodded. "Just one more. And to be clear, I'm not the one saying this, I'm just reading off the list, okay?"

Weiss groaned. "Oh great. How am I going to be humiliated _this_ time?"

"Oh come on," Ruby insisted, "it's not always about you!"

"It usually is."

"Well... sure... but not always!"

**[Ruby's a prison lesbian.]**

"...see?" Ruby fought back her blush. "This time I'm the one in... oh..."

"Wait wait wait." Yang pointed at Weiss. "Useless lesbian." Then at Ruby. "Prison lesbian." Then at herself. "Master lesbian?"

"Token bisexual," Blake chimed in. "But no, I don't think it's like that."

"Really."

"Mostly because you are not at all good at lesbian."

Yang balked. "Hey! I'd make a great lesbian!"

"Oh so we're doing _this_ now," Weiss muttered.

Blake leveled her gaze on her partner. "Yang, you are ridiculously attractive. If you had even a _smidgen_ of the ability required to leverage that, every gay girl in Beacon would know who you were with for the past three months. But instead, you have had twelve girls check you out this week, three actually flirted with you, and somehow you failed to notice every single time."

"Yikes." Ruby cringed. "I mean, you're not wrong, but..."

"...oh." Yang's expression fell. "Uh... wow."

"Wait, I-I mean once you got into a relationship I'm pretty sure it would last forever," Blake assured her rapidly. "You're actually... a very likable person. It's just you kind of miss the hints, is what I'm saying."

Yang nodded, not saying anything or looking at anyone.

Blake cringed, reaching out a hand, but hesitated a moment. She curled her fingers back, her bow twitching as she glanced away. It just so happened that her eyes met Ruby's. That she saw the worry in her team leader's expression. She looked down at her lap for a moment.

Then, steeling herself, she unfurled her hand and let it come into contact with Yang's shoulder. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean... I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I... I know." Yang cleared her throat. "I get it, we were just joking around."

"Yeah."

Weiss cleared her throat. "SO. Anyway. Why is Ruby a _prison_ lesbian, specifically?"

Yang and Blake sprung apart, Blake quickly adjusting her hair. "Um, well, the obvious reason would be that she goes to prison, for some reason."

"Yeah, that tracks," Ruby agreed.

Yang gave her a look. "Wait, Ruby, are you a criminal or something?"

"I mean... not _yet,"_ Ruby admitted, "but if it's a choice between following the law and doing the right thing..."

Weiss scoffed. "Why would we ever need to make that choice?"

"Talking to people in organized crime so we can track down a missing person?" Yang suggested.

"Revealing a company's classified documents as evidence of faunus oppression?" Blake offered.

"Saving a robot person from their so-called owner because that's technically slavery?" Ruby added.

"Alright, alright." Weiss pinched her brow. "You've made your point. So..."

"So we're going to get the opportunity to do something right that isn't strictly legal." Ruby nodded. "And we're going to meet a robot person."

"And people named Cinder and Neptune," Blake added. "And also Mercury. We need to look out for them."

"Yes. That. Maybe one of them is the robot."

"Does anybody else feel underwhelmed by how little this is telling us?" Weiss asked. "Is it just me?"

"I mean..." Ruby made a one-handed shrug. "It's not like we know what goes memetic and why, right? And it's still the first couple of volumes."

Yang looked at the scroll thoughtfully. "Hmm. Maybe..."

"What is it, sis?"

"Maybe we should wait for volume 3 memes," she suggested. "See if we can find anything this volume 2 stuff is talking about."

Ruby nodded. "Yeah... yeah. Trying to figure everything out when we know nothing is going to be near-impossible."

"We could learn more by reading more," Weiss pointed out.

"True... still." Ruby considered the scroll. "...How about this: Professor Goodwitch is going to take us all to Forever Fall in a few weeks. You know, for training and stuff. If we don't find anything before then, then we'll open up some more reading when we get back."

Weiss considered her suggestion. "That seems like a reasonable compromise."

"Alright." Blake put the scroll on the bookshelf. "I think... well, with that all done, we've got the rest of the afternoon to work on schoolwork."

"Yeah, I really need to finish my economy report," Ruby agreed, heading over to her desk. "Uh... Weiss, can you help me with this?"

"Of course."

Yang stretched her arms up as she stood. "Well, while the useless lesbian and the prison lesbian are flirting, I think I'm going to go check my bike."

"We're not flirting," Weiss deadpanned.

"You say that _now..."_

"Yaaaaaaaaaaang!" Ruby whined.

Blake rolled her eyes, pushing her partner toward the door. "Come on, Yang. This time I'll point out the women who give you a once-over so you aren't hopelessly oblivious."

"I thought _you_ were supposed to be the oblivious one!"

"That was clearly a case of irony. Or will be. Something like that."

Weiss watched the pair head out. "So... those two, huh?"

"Mmmyeah."

"And _Yang's_ teasing _us?"_

Ruby giggled. "In their own time, Weiss. In their own time."


	6. Chapter 5: HAP HAP!

“...and what was with Jaune’s combat style, anyway?” Weiss demanded as they headed toward the dorm room. “It was so... so haphazard!”

Ruby hummed quietly. “Yeah, there was something about it... I think he’s not trained in a sword and shield style of fighting.”

“What?”

“I mean, I trained with swords for a bit,” she explained. “My uncle’s weapon, Harbinger? It’s a big sword that can turn into a scythe or a really big bladed tonfa. And when I first started combat fighting I thought I’d be just like him, you know? So I wanted to be able to handle all three forms, and... well, fighting with a sword is different from fighting with a scythe, there are different sorts of motions.”

“I know what you mean. I trained with dueling sabers for a bit, before my sister had me switch to a rapier.” Weiss frowned quietly. “But if that’s the case... why would Jaune fight with a weapon he’s not used to?”

“He told me it was a family heirloom. Maybe he trained with something else but decided he’d honor his heritage right before coming to Beacon?”

“...maybe,” Weiss murmured, nodding to herself quietly. “Legacy can be a powerful thing...”

Ruby paused in front of the doorway. “...do you, uh... do you want to talk about it?”

“Mmm.” Weiss, after a moment, shook her head. “I... kind of feel it would be one of those heated conversations that I’d need to prepare for... or at least have cookies at the ready.” She huffed wryly. “Especially if Blake’s involved.”

Ruby gave her an unamused look.

“I mean... you know...” Weiss gestured vaguely. “With the SDC, and... and faunus and...”

Ruby’s look did not abate.

Weiss sighed. “What am I supposed to do, Ruby, pretend that I _wasn’t_ raised by...”

She trailed off, glancing away for a moment.

“...Weiss.” Ruby put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re trying to be better. And we’re here to help. That’s what matters, right? Making things better, any way we can.”

“Right, yes.” Weiss paused. “I... I’m still not ready for this talk. Not yet. I’m getting there, I just... don’t want to, right now.”

Ruby accepted that with a nod. “Alright. We’ve got a list of stupid jokes from another world to get to reading, anyway.”

“Right, yes.” Weiss shook her head as she opened the door. “Can you believe it’s been three whole weeks?”

“I know! We should have run into somebody on the list by now! Like Kerry, at least!”

Yang glanced up from her scroll. “You two talking about the meme list?”

“We were,” Weiss confirmed. “I’d say we’ve waited long enough. Time for another round of frustration.”

“Well, volume 3 was the first volume to be split into two lists,” Ruby reminded her as she pulled the big scroll from its not-so-secret resting place on the bookshelf. “Maybe we’ll get some more concrete info.”

“Maybe.” Weiss sat down next to her, taking a breath. “So, should we start with some General memes, like we have before?”

Blake shrugged, scooching aside as Yang swung down from her bed. “It seems to be as good a tradition as any.”

“Alright.” Ruby looked around as she tapped the list open. “Let’s just catch up to where we were and--” She glanced down and giggled. “Oh! Oh, hahaha, oh. Wow.”

“What?” Weiss gave her a look. “What is it?”

**[Drunkle Qrow]**

Yang burst out laughing. “Hahahahaha! Oh that’s good! That--that’s a good one!”

Blake sighed. “So... If I’m reading this situation right, you have an uncle named Qrow, and... he drinks.”

“Yep!” Ruby shook her head. “He’s really cool, though. A professional Huntsmen, he taught me how to fight with a scythe--”

“But he drinks,” Weiss interjected flatly.

“I mean...” Ruby shrugged. “He... he knows his limits. I think. And he hasn’t been bad around us. It’s just...” Her face fell. “Well...”

She looked across to Yang with a pleading expression.

“Uncle Qrow’s... been through a lot,” Yang explained. “He’s always pulled himself together for us, for me and Ruby and Dad and...” She trailed off for a moment. “...The point is, he has his own way to cope, and he makes sure it doesn’t stop him from being able to help.”

“Yeah.” Ruby nodded. “Yeah.”

Weiss’s frown deepened. “...if you’re certain...”

“...I’m... well.” Ruby sighed. “I do worry, sometimes, I guess. But... he does have us, and Dad, and... yeah...”

She trailed off, her eyes downcast. Weiss looked at her, and at Yang who was looking at Ruby sadly, and at Blake who was awkwardly fidgeting with her fingers.

“...We should talk about this. Sometime.” She inhaled. “But, we have a bunch of memes to go through right now, so...”

“Yeah.” Ruby took a steadying breath. “Yeah, okay, yeah. Talk... later, yeah.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway! So. Next meme.”

**[Everyone is Neo]  
==>[You thought this would be [X] but it was me, Neo!]** ****

“So... this Neo person has a habit of disguising themself?” Blake asked, perplexed. “As other people?”

Weiss shrugged. “Apparently.”

“Welp.” Yang rolled her shoulders. “Bring on the paranoia!”

“I mean, it’s obviously a joke, right?” Ruby tapped the scroll. “Like, they can’t actually be everyone, it’s just a trick they pull a couple of times and people rolled with it.”

“And there’s the submeme, which is obviously a quote from... somewhere,” Weiss pointed out. “Either Neo says it to be dramatic or there’s some other character in some other show that says it to be dramatic and... yeah.”

“Yeah, besides, this is a General meme,” Yang added. “A joke about the fandom and not about, you know, us.”

“Right.” Ruby nodded. “Okay. So let’s put down Neo down as _another_ person we need to look for.”

**[Cinder is a BBA/17 years old.]**

“What’s a BBA?” Ruby asked.

“I have no idea,” Blake replied. “Weiss? Yang?”

The two of them shook their heads.

“...Okay, so we don’t know what _that_ is, so... seventeen years old.” Ruby hummed. “Why would Cinder being seventeen be memetic?”

“Well,” Weiss mused, “that’s the usual age of acceptance into the Huntsmen academies...”

“So Cinder’s a student at one of the academies?”

“Wait, but that wouldn’t make it memetic,” Yang pointed out. “Something about Cinder being seventeen has to stand out. Maybe... they’re not a student, even though they could be?”

“That’s not unusual,” Blake pointed out. “There are plenty of seventeen-year-olds who aren’t students.”

“Right, right...” Yang frowned quietly. “Okay... what if the idea that Cinder is seventeen is the joke? Like they aren’t actually seventeen, but the fans like to pretend they are.”

“That... would make them being a student unusual,” Blake admitted.

Weiss sighed. “I think we’re not going to have any clue until we actually meet Cinder. Or at least know who they are.”

“Yeah...” Ruby nodded. “Yeah. Still, more clues are always useful.”

**[The Law of Mercury/Neo/Adam]**

“So ‘law’ is probably another overdramatazation,” Ruby began, “like the ‘war’ of 2017--”

“Blake?” Yang put a gentle hand on that of her partner, who seemed to have tensed up. “You... uh... having another cat pun moment?”

Blake took a deep breath and, slowly, let it out. “...I’ll be alright.”

Weiss adjusted her skirt. “If you want to talk about it--”

“No.”

“...okay.”

“...so, do we...” Ruby coughed. “Do we... want to try to figure this one out, or just... move on?”

“...The law is probably just something situations involving each of them have in common or something,” Yang suggested, gripping Blake’s hand reassuringly. “Not important.”

“Not important.” Ruby nodded hesitantly. “Okay. Moving on.”

**[Overall, there's almost an unspoken rule that characters have the same personality as their voice actors.]**

“Yeah, this one is definitely a fandom joke,” Yang decided. “Heck, I’ve seen jokes like this before about Spruce Willis characters.”

“I’m more amazed that we have _voice_ actors,” Weiss noted, her tone vaguely disgusted. “I mean, what, is this an _animated_ show?”

Ruby gave her a pointed glare. “You have something against animation?”

“It’s--it’s for kids! Cartoons and... children’s... shows...”

Weiss’s voice trailed off as she noticed the disbelieving looks the others were leveling on her.

“...You really _have_ had a sheltered life,” Blake noted sympathetically.

 _“What’s_ that _supposed to mean?!”_

“It means we’re having a movie marathon next saturday,” Ruby declared. “Mandatory. Because Weiss, you don’t know what you’re missing.”

 _“Of course I don’t know what I’m missing I wouldn’t be this_ confused _if I knew what I was missing--”_

“Next meme!”

**[HAP HAP!]**

“Ah,” Yang said knowingly, “and here we see the lovingly crafted nonsense that is, in fact, the most beloved part of the fandom.”

“Quality bafflement,” Ruby agreed in a mock high-class tone. “To be sure.”

“Seriously though, why would _our_ show be animated? Is--I mean, fighting Grimm could be action sequences, sure, but the SDC and faunus racism are just too dark a sort of subject for kids to--”

“Let it go, Weiss.” Blake shook her head. “Just let it go for now.”

**[Calling Ironwood "Daddy." No, seriously. Turns out the animators weren't much different.]**

Ruby tilted her head. “So, what? People think Ironwood’s a good father?”

“...erm.” Blake cleared her throat. “Ruby,” she began, “there’s... some people... if they’re, uh, intimate, sometimes--”

“It’s a sex thing, Rubes.” Yang rolled her eyes. “I don’t get it myself, but some girls like calling their guys ‘daddy’ in the bedroom.”

Ruby gagged. “W-What? Why would--that doesn’t... _What?!”_

“Yeah, I... I agree, that’s a no-go for me.” Weiss blanched. “And that the animators are saying this--I mean, I guess they’re adults, but this show is--”

“Animated does not mean for kids,” Blake interjected.

“But--”

 _“Animation,”_ she repeated firmly, “does _not_ mean. That it’s for kids.”

Weiss rubbed her temples. “That just... fine. Whatever.”

“Why would you call them _daddy?”_ Ruby exploded. “That’s--that’s GROSS!”

“Something something power dynamic?” Yang shrugged. “I dunno, Rubes. Hey, Weiss, do you know if Ironwood’s friends think he’s hot?”

“I--uh... well...” Weiss shrugged. “I’ve never heard of anything like that regarding him from my sister, and she’s pretty... highly ranked? Then again, she’s my older sister, so maybe she just doesn’t want to talk about that sort of thing with me. I honestly have no idea.”

“I don’t want to think about this.” Ruby shook her head. “I _don’t_ want to think about this. I’m not _going_ to think about this, I am _moving on,_ we are going to go _down_ this list, and we will _never_ speak of this again.”

**[Adam the Edgelord.]  
==>["It's time I got what I deserved."]**

“...erm.” Ruby glanced across the room, noting that Blake had once again gone stiff. “...so. Um. I... I’ve been called an edgelord myself, so I know what it means--”

“You’ve been called an edgelord?” Weiss stared at her. _“You?”_

“I mean, I wear red and black and I have a big scythe and--”

Blake’s deep inhalation made Ruby cut herself off.

Yang, again, took Blake’s hand, and added a gentle grip to her shoulder. “We can... take a moment, a walk, if you need it.”

“...I...”

Blake looked around, at the worried faces of her teammates. She swallowed.

“...Adam... was somebody I knew who... didn’t turn out to be who I thought he was. I... think I should leave it at that for now.”

Weiss cringed. “Blake... if Adam’s being brought up in this list--”

“I know! I know. I... know what it means.” Blake’s expression fell. “I just... I came to Beacon to get _away_ from him.”

“...okay.” Weiss nodded. “Okay. We don’t have to talk about him now.”

Ruby’s eyes moved across the faces of her teammates. With an awkward curl of her shoulders, she glanced down at the screen. “Okay. Next meme.”

**["I've always wanted a litter!"]**

Blake groaned.

“Um.”

“No,” she said, “no, Ruby, I know it’s not you, it’s the scroll, but--still.”

“Yeah...” Ruby cringed. “Yeeeeeah, I mean... I... I don’t even know.”

“...A few bad eggs,” Yang decided. “A few bad eggs that made a very, very bad joke, and now the fandom is mocking them for it. I’m choosing to believe that.”

Weiss tightened her hands. “...I think there’s just one more before we’ve done ten,” she pointed out. “And then, uh... and then we can switch over to volume three, right?”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good call.” Ruby nodded. “So, last meme before we switch.”

**[Mam of the year]**

“Ma’am of the year?”

“No, Mam. M A M. Like mom, but with an A.”

Weiss stared at the scroll. “I... why would you deliberately misspell ‘mom’ like that?”

“I’m guessing it might be a way to emphasize ‘mom’ in a humorous manner,” Blake suggested, finally relaxing her shoulders. “Like, if the word’s misspelled, the mom in question is also... missdirected?”

“Ugh.” Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. “Well, that’s... annoying. It’s probably--”

She cut herself off, glancing around quickly.

Ruby cleared her throat. “Um, maybe it’s not... maybe it’s like, the producer or writer or whatever, the fans sort of see us as her kids? But because she’s the writer she has to put us in ‘dramatic’ situations which, you know, isn’t something an ordinary mother would do. So, it’s like, a joke. Kind of. About the writer.” She cleared her throat. “And, uh, not any of _our_ moms.”

“...That could be it,” Yang allowed, nodding slowly. “That _could_ be it. Let’s pretend that’s what it is.”

“I can accept that,” Weiss agreed. She cleared her throat. “Well. For, uh, general memes, that wasl all... surprisingly serious.”

“Yeah, we usually get the serious stuff in volumes,” Ruby agreed.

Yang put on a cocky smirk, though it only just reached her eyes. “Hey, who knows? Volume three might just be wacky fun!”

“It’s split in two,” Blake pointed out.

“A _lot_ of wacky fun!”

Ruby grinned. “Yeah! You know what, let’s find out.” She tapped the scroll. “What’s the worst jokes the fans could possibly make, anyway?”


	7. Chapter 6: You think they're scared of your little ships?!

“Alright,” Ruby spun the scroll in her hand, “let’s get to the first half of--”

She blinked as she re-read the scroll in front of her.

“What is it?” Weiss looked over her shoulder. “What’s--okay, _what?”_

“What?” Blake looked at them. “What’s wrong?”

“...The volume three memes are split between the first _eight_ episodes,” Ruby explained, “and the last _four.”_

“That’s...” Yang hummed, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “Maybe the series just picked up a lot of fans around volume three, so there’s more memes from that era.”

“...maybe.” Ruby cleared her throat. “So! First eight episodes, here we go.”

**[Volume 3, now with** _**MORE DIVERSITY!** _ **]**

“Huzzah,” Blake quipped with a small grin.

“What are--wait.” Weiss held up a hand. “Let me work through this. Okay, so there’s... faunus representation... and... kingdom representation? Characters from other kingdoms that aren’t just stereotypes? That’s what it means by more diversity, right?”

“Pretty much,” Blake confirmed, a hint of surprised approval in her voice. “Of course, now the question is whether kingdom diversity or faunus diversity came first.”

Yang gave a half shrug. “Does it really matter? Improvement isn’t a steady process, there’s no set order things have to come in. So long as you keep trying to get better, that’s what counts.”

Blake nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah... I guess you have a point there.”

**[Dad.jpg]**

“Dot Jaypeg?” Weiss gave the scroll a look. “What does that mean?”

“It’s a file type for digital pictures. I...” Ruby shrugged. “I forget what it means, exactly, but it’s like... I guess somebody’s dad was shown and they were just a picture?”

“...but this is a supposedly animated series. Isn’t _everyone_ just a picture?”

“Mandatory Movie night.”

“But--”

“You won’t get it until I show you what I mean.”

**["X is the main character."]**

“That’s probably just some sort of joke about the storytelling format,” Yang decided. “We have a Blake focus episode, so Blake’s the Main Character! Oh, here’s a new character that will be important, they’re the main character now!”

“That seems like it’d be a General meme, not a volume 3 meme,” Blake observed.

“Yeah, uh...” Yang shrugged. “Maybe volume 3 takes place during the Vytal festival? Great chance to introduce all the new characters and all that.”

**[Brace yourself, Winter is coming.]**

“Oh!” Weiss perked up. “That’s my sister!”

“What?”

“My sister, Winter.” She gave Yang an odd look. “I never told you about my sister?”

Blake sighed. “Winter Schnee. Joined the Atlas military, as a symbolic gesture of their partnership with the SDC.”

“What--no she didn’t!” Wiess protested, glaring at Blake. “She went to Atlas Academy to get _away_ from our father!”

“That’s not how I heard it.”

“Well you heard it wrong. Winter’s kind and honorable and--and everything that Jacques Schnee isn’t,” Weiss declared. “And she has nothing but contempt for the man, and...”

Her expression faltered. “...and the SDC. I... I hope that when I become the CEO, I can make it back into something she’d approve of.”

Ruby put a hand on hers, squeezing it quietly. Weiss turned to her with a grateful smile, missing Blake’s worried frown.

“...So.” Yang cleared her throat. “So, I guess we’ll get to meet your sister, huh?”

“I...” Weiss nodded. “I guess so. Oh--oh, we’ll have to so much to prepare--”

“Hey! Hey.” Yang held up her hand. “This is volume 3 stuff, right? We don’t even know if we’re in volume 2 yet. We have time.”

Weiss snapped her gaze toward the blonde. “How much time, Yang? How _much?!”_ She gestured at the scroll. “Nothing here has given us any real date! Even the idea that the third volume happens during the Vytal Tournament is just a _guess!”_

“Easy! Easy.” Ruby put a hand on her shoulder. “We don’t have to do everything all at once. Just, uh, keep the dorm relatively clean and... I mean, what else would we do? Does Winter have a favorite food?”

“I--” Weiss took a deep breath. “You’re right. You’re right. We have... time. To figure out what we need to do.”

Blake gave the scroll a wary look. “I... hope that’s not all we figure out.”

“Right.” Ruby nodded. “On we go!”

**[The One]**

“Another contextless meme we can’t figure out,” Ruby declared.

“We can’t even poke fun at this one!” Yang complained, grumpily crossing her arms. “‘The One’ is just way too generic a term!”

**["You can't catch me, gay feelings!"]**

“Ugh.” Weiss rolled her eyes. “More shipping jokes. Somebody’s in denial about being in love and everyone goes ‘oh that’s funny and cute.’”

“You know, I’m...” Ruby cringed. “I mean, I don’t _dis_ like the shipping jokes, but what if there’s something like ‘and then Ruby got together with this person we haven’t met yet’ in here? I mean, how am I supposed to take that? Am I destined to fall in love with this random person or... or what?”

“We’re already going to try to change the future a little with this,” Weiss pointed out. “Maybe we can take the parts we like, and try to stop the parts we don’t, and... you know, dating’s supposed to be for figuring out if and _how_ a relationship works. Right? Even if you follow the shippers, you have to... chart your own course. I think.” She awkwardly ran a hand through her ponytail. “Not that _I_ would know...”

“Really?”

“I’m, well, the SDC heiress. Whoever I wind up married to gets the company. So...” Weiss shook her head. “Romance, a relationship for _love’s_ sake, that’s not something I have any real experience with.”

Ruby’s eyes softened. “Weiss...”

“It’s fine. It’s not like I need romance to live a successful life.” Weiss gestured vaguely. “I mean, look at headmaster Ozpin!”

Ruby nodded, though she shared a concerned look with her sister. “Alright. Um.” She looked down at the scroll. “Next meme.”

**["You think they're scared of your little ships?!"]**

“Wait,” Yang asked, “are these ships like boats or like airships or... like relationships?”

Blake gave her a deadpan look. “Probably both. Transports in the show, and then the fandom ran with the pun.”

Weiss snorted. “Fair enough. So... who’s they, and who’s your, and which little ships are they talking about?”

“Well...”

Ruby paused, glancing from Weiss to Blake.

“...Atlas is the kingdom with the most well known fleet,” Blake pointed out. “And ‘little’ could be being used in a mocking, ironic sense. So... somebody is probably not scared of Atlas’s fleet.”

Weiss nodded. “Well, that’s probably the White Fang, then.”

Blake’s eyes narrowed.

“I mean--no, you know what?” Weiss crossed her arms. “I’ll accept that I need to change my views on faunus, that faunus racism exists--that, yes, there are serious problems in Atlas. But the White Fang aren’t just _any_ faunus. They are literal, actual terrorists. They kill people. And ever since I was a child, I've watched family friends disappear; board members executed; an entire train car full of Dust, stolen.”

“They didn’t start out that way--”

“And the SDC didn’t _start out_ sending workers to their death in the mines! That only happened after my father took over the company! It doesn’t matter how they _started out,_ Blake, it doesn’t matter if some of them are family or one of them literally saved your life, what matters is what they’re doing _now!”_

“Jacques Schnee _chose_ to become a monster!” Blake said, standing up. “Do you understand that? He could have gotten rich without hurting anyone. He could have achieved his goals without going to extreme measures. He actively _chose_ to hurt those under him! He _had_ that choice!”

“Yes! And the White Fang did too!”

“NO WE DIDN’T!”

The room fell dead quiet at that.

It took Blake a moment, a moment looking at the horrified expression on Weiss’s face, for her to realize what exactly she had just said, before the panic began to crawl up her own throat. “...I--I, I--”

**[Top Heavy becoming an Unusual Euphemism for Yang's chest.]**

“What,” said Weiss.

“That’s the next meme!” Ruby blurted out quickly. “Top heavy! Yang chest! Weird right?”

“...Ruby--”

“I mean it’s not a bad joke,” Yang added quickly, taking hold of Blake’s hand firmly. “They are quality knockers.”

Weiss sighed. “We can’t just--”

**[Pyrrha vs Qrow.]**

“Oh no!” Yang gasped dramatically. “Pyrrha’s going to fight my uncle!”

“Qrow can pick a fight with anyone,” Ruby added wisely.

“STOP.” Weiss held up her hands. “Just... stop. Stop. Let me think for a second.”

She stood up, waking in front of the shut door and staring at it for a moment or two.

“...Blake. What... exactly, do you mean, when you say the White Fang had no choice?”

Blake curled her shoulders in for a moment, but relaxed when Yang ran her thumb over her fingers. She took a steadying breath. “The White Fang... did _try_ peaceful protests. Lobbying. Pointing out all the systemic issues, the way faunus weren’t treated equally, but... well. It didn’t work. So... five years ago, when Sienna Khan took over, they... we... took more direct action.” Her gaze fell. “More brutal action. It... got results, where the protests never did. We were actually accomplishing something, for once.”

Her voice grew heavy. “Something we couldn’t have done any other way.”

Weiss crossed her hands behind her back, still not turning from the door. “And... did _you_ ever kill anyone? Personally?”

“No,” Blake insisted, looking up. “No! I--I went on raids, sometimes, I sabotaged some systems, and... and I told myself that the death was just unavoidable collateral, but then I was on a mission and told to just let people die that didn’t _need_ to and--and I couldn’t, I let them go, and then I left the White Fang right there!”

“You left.”

“Yes.” Blake shut her eyes. “I... left.”

Weiss took a long, slow breath.

“I need you to promise me,” she said, “that you’re telling the truth. That you’re not some spy passing on messages to them, that there’s no plan to take me hostage or... or make an example of me or anything like that.”

Blake’s eyes shot open. “Weiss, I--”

“Can you promise me that?” Weiss asked, turning around. “Can you look me in the eyes and swear I’m not your target?”

For a moment, Blake’s expression was hurt, but she didn’t break her gaze with Weiss. “I came here to get away from all that,” she promised. “I swear to you, on the shallow sea itself, that I mean you no harm, and never have.”

Weiss stared into her eyes for a long moment.

“...you gave me a chance, even knowing where I came from,” she admitted finally. “I suppose it’s only fair I extend you the same courtesy.”

Blake nodded quietly, slowly sitting back down. Weiss, carefully, sat across from her.

Ruby bit her lip. “...there’s, um... there’s only a couple more... left. Well, for this part. The last four episodes of Volume 3 are, you know, different--”

“Let’s just get through them,” Weiss muttered.

“...right.”

**[The Yang vs Mercury aftermath has spawned several memes for each side.]**

“Wait a minute, I thought all the explanations had been removed.”

Ruby shrugged. “This is actually the start of a long list of sub-memes, Weiss. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“This is the second time that’s happened,” Weiss mumbled. “Whoever arranged this clearly is not the most competent person in... well, I guess, in the multiverse.”

“Oh whatever!” Yang grinned. “Let’s hear the memes about my fight with this Mercury person!”

**== >[Break a leg sis!]**

“Sounds like you wished me luck, huh?”

**== >["MY LEG!" and "I used to be a Huntsman like you..."]**

Yang blinked. “Uh... wait--”

**== >[Yang did nothing wrong.]**

“Hold on, hold on, what is this?!” Yang gestured at the scroll. “What’s all this supposed to mean, that I--that I hurt somebody _innocent?_ I would never do that!”

Ruby read further down the list, cringing. “Um... you’re... not going to like the rest of this.”

“There’s _more?”_

Ruby swallowed.

**== >[Mercury did nothing wrong/Yang Shot First.]**  
**==== >[Yang did nothing Xiao Wrong.]**

“It’s... a terrible pun?” Blake offered hesitantly.

“This is character defamation,” Yang insisted. “I wouldn’t--”

**== >[Stand with Mercury.]**

“I _wouldn’t!”_ she repeated. “I swear, I would never--”

“We don’t have context for this,” Weiss interjected. “This is explicitly a fight. We know you’re fighting Mercury, and that Ruby wished you luck. So... maybe, it’s during the... finals of the Vytal festival--”

“No. Absolutely not. No, N O, nada, NO, I am NOT--”

“--and he tricks you, maybe? Somehow? And then pretends you broke his leg? In front of everyone?”

Yang stared at her. “I...”

“I mean...” Ruby cringed. “This is... memes about a story. The characters... us... well, stories are about overcoming various things. Hardship and trauma. Sometimes they’re fun, sometimes they’re serious. And...” She winced. “The... idea that you... you know. Maybe accidentally broke a competitor’s leg... that would be a source of drama for the story.”

Yang’s expression of pure betrayal made her curl in on herself.

“...we don’t know enough,” Blake decided. “We don’t know nearly enough. And...” She glanced across toward Weiss. “This... has been kind of an emotional reading for all of us. Maybe we should just... finish with this first part of volume three, and take a break."

“...okay...” Ruby swallowed. “Okay. Last one, with one submeme.”

**[Amber going into the Maiden State]**  
**== >[Amber using Diamond Storm]**

“Any of us know an Amber?” She looked around at her team, seeing no confirmations. “Maiden State? Diamond Storm? I mean, Diamond Storm could be from a video game--”

“Is that it?” Yang asked. “Are we done?”

“I mean, there’s still the final four episode list, but--”

“Good.” She stood up, walking out the door. “I’m going to the library or... something.”

Ruby stood, rushing after her. “Yang, wait--!”

She flinched as the door was slammed in her face.


	8. Interlude: Yang Did Nothing Xiao Wrong

_...that the appointment of general Legume to handle the 'faunus problem' stemmed from the prevailing racism of Mistral at the time. Ironically, had the Mistrali taken the faunus more seriously, they would chosen to elect a more competent general to deal with the revolutionaries, and their decision might well have contributed to--_

Yang jolted when the chair next to her squeaked, looking over to see Blake opening a book of her own. Her eyes didn't flick up from the novel, which looked like some sort of fantasy story from the cover, but her bow twitched a bit. Probably her ears--

...yeah.

_...and their decision might well have contributed to the surprising failure of the Mistrali campaign and the rapid dissolution of the remaining nobility after the revolution. This is yet another case of Mistral's cultural belief in inherent wisdom sabotaging the actual ability of..._

Yang put down the cultural analysis book. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Blake adjust her grip, but thankfully she didn't say anything.

The ceiling was looking fancy. Not surprising, it was a library, in a castle. Well, former castle. Where would the throne room have been... maybe the assembly hall?

She sighed. "You're not going to say anything, are you."

"Not if you don't want me to," Blake replied.

"...but you want to say something."

Blake put down her book slowly. "Well... you did come after me after the cat pun thing," she pointed out. "You did support me, back there... when Adam came up, and then... well, you know." Her fingers went over the book. "And... I want to say you can trust me. I really do. So... if you don't want to hear what I have to say--"

"No, you know what? Weiss and Ruby put out their thoughts." Yang rose her hands in resignation, still staring at the ceiling. "Why shouldn't you?"

Blake started to reply, but cut herself off.

"...When I first met Adam," she began instead, "he was... passionate. That never really changed, he always wanted to fight humanity, but in the beginning it was for the faunus. I... admired that. I thought being willing to do anything to help others was a good thing. But..."

One of her hands curled over the book.

"Over time, it became less about why he was fighting, and more about the fight itself. He didn't... he'd say that it was an accident so many died, then that they were in the way, then that any loyal faunus--" Blake shut her eyes, taking a breath. "...The point is that he changed. He... changed from what I admired. Or... maybe he didn't, and I just didn't see it until he tried to make me like him."

She turned to look at her partner. "That's a horrifying thing to go through, Yang. To see somebody you thought was one thing be... something else. Someone you trusted become a monster. Even the potential thought that could happen... it rattles people."

Yang sighed. "...so. You think I'm going to become--"

"No." Blake's tone was firm. "You care too much for that--for _that_ to happen. What I'm saying is that we... that _Ruby,"_ she pressed on past Yang's wince, "has never had to confront the idea that you _might_ be capable of that, and now she's had it slammed in her face. She's trying to understand it, trying to wrap her head around it, the same way Weiss had to wrap her head around my bow, or..."

She trailed off.

"...I know she still trusts me," Yang said, not looking at Blake. "I mean, I'm her sister. I practically raised her. It's just... the way she came up with a situation where I would do that... even Weiss thought I would be tricked, but Ruby thinks I could lose control!"

"She's trying to figure out what the list means, Yang. We all are."

Yang groaned. "I know, I know... gods..." She finally turned her head, looking at Blake. "You... really don't think I'd do that, do you?"

"No, I don't." Blake put on a little smile. "I mean, unless this Mercury guy messes with your hair. I saw how you handled that Ursa during initiation."

"Hey." Yang tried to put on a serious face, despite the twitch of her lips. "Hair's important."

Blake shrugged a single shoulder. "I suppose." After a moment, she reached out, taking Yang's hand. "I... if I see warning signs, or anything like what happened with Adam... I'll tell you, okay?"

"...okay." Yang took a deep breath. "Okay. I guess... it's better to be aware of the possibility then to just--let it happen. I just..."

She leaned forward, resting her eyes in her hand.

"...I don't... know what this is going to do to Ruby. You know?"

Blake swallowed. "In... in a way, it's a good thing that Ruby's... actually thinking about this."

"What?"

"I mean, you're her big sister, and she could have--she could have just decided you were perfect, no flaws, and ignored everything, which... which would mean she wasn't able to adjust. If she's... if she thinks about how you _could_ go from where you are to that, then she considers warning signs--and it will help her look for the same kind of warning signs in other people." Blake glanced away. "Warning signs I missed with... him."

Yang leaned back. "I... guess. I guess that... yeah... still."

"...Honestly? I'm more worried about Weiss."

* * *

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Ruby, you are not a monster."

"'s I 'm," protested the voice muffled beneath the pillow.

"Having a moment of doubt does not make you a monster," Weiss stated, crossing her arms. "I doubted your ability when we first arrived, and Yang's intelligence with her shenanigans, and... well... Blake," she admitted awkwardly. "BUT. Each of you proved me wrong. Rather quickly, I might add."

"'ng's m' _'ist'r!"_

Weiss sighed. "Yes, well," she said, as though that excused anything.

Ruby pulled her head out from under the pillow. "She practically raised me, Weiss! I've always known Yang would be there, no matter what, and--and this is how I repay her? By saying she's the kind of person that would just break somebody's legs?"

 _"You're_ not the one that said that," Weiss countered. "It's that--that _thing!"_ She pointed at the offending scroll, as though her glare could make it curl up in shame. "All you did was try to consider _how_ that could be true--same as me."

"But--"

"Besides, I know Yang. She may be a little unrestrained, but I've never known her to take any action she didn't think she needed to in a fight. I think you know that, and I think Yang knows you know that. And," Weiss continued, "let's say that Yang _did_ break an innocent person's leg for some reason--or, _would_ have. Now that we know that this should have happened, we can... keep it _from_ happening. I think."

She looked at Ruby's confused expression and flicked a hand irritably. "Well, you get what I mean, anyway. And... and isn't stopping this sort of thing exactly why you wanted to read this list in the first place?"

"I..." Ruby buried her face into the pillow for a moment, and took a deep breath before resurfacing. "I don't know how I'm going to make this up to Yang," she admitted. "I still trust her, of course, but... You saw how she reacted. She's hurting because of this."

"...I think we're all going to wind up hurting because of this." Weiss sat down on the bed across from her. "I mean... the thing with Blake..."

Ruby cringed, sitting up. "Weiss--"

"I want to trust her," Weiss said quickly. "I want... I want to be better than my father, but... there's faunus and then there's the White Fang. And..."

She pinched her brow. "It would be stupidly easy for me to look up her past, you know? I could just search the public files. Throw around the Schnee name if I need to. Cross reference Blake Belladonna and the White Fang, maybe even look into whoever Adam is. She wouldn't even have to know..."

"...Weiss."

"I know, I know. It would be betraying her trust." Weiss fell flat onto the bed. "And maybe Blake Belladonna isn't even her real name. And... and she was _scared,_ after she outed herself like that."

Ruby nodded quietly. "Yeah, I guess... she'd have a good reason to be worried."

Weiss's gaze fell aside. "Because I'm a Schnee."

"No," Ruby said quickly. "Well, maybe a little," she admitted. "But Yang and I were there too, you know? And... like you said, there's a difference between 'I'm a faunus' and 'I'm with the White Fang.' One you can't help, and the other--"

"I made her swear she wasn't going to hurt me."

Ruby was silent, for a moment.

"...Weiss, why did you come to Beacon? Instead of going to Atlas, I mean."

"I..." Weiss gestured vaguely. "I guess it was an attempt to expand my horizons. I know a lot about Atlas. A lot of people in Atlas know me. My sister works closely with general Ironwood, and---and if I went to Atlas Academy, I wouldn't actually be _challenged,_ I think. I needed to be able to grow, without having my path determined for me."

"Well, you've certainly expanded your horizons a lot. You're meeting with people you'd never meet before." Ruby rubbed the back of her head. "It can be a bit stressful when you're suddenly put in a new situation. I mean... I got jumped ahead two years."

Weiss sat up. "Ruby--"

"Not that I'm complaining!" she added quickly. "I mean, I'm on a team with you and Blake and Yang and--and, yeah, the workload's a bit much. But I did kinda charge that Death Stalker on my own, just to prove I belonged here." Ruby smiled wryly. "Not my finest moment."

Weiss managed a small smile of her own. "No, but you decapitated that Nevermore afterwards, so..."

"My point is, we--we all do some questionable things sometimes. When we're stressed and... honestly?" Ruby took a breath. "I think you handled the White Fang thing incredibly well. Like--I'm honestly surprised you didn't have some sort of panicked freakout, let alone that you talked things out with Blake."

"That _might_ be because you started talking about your sister's--"

_"It was a meme on the list."_

Weiss smirked at Ruby's blush. "Well, we finally have something on her, right?"

Ruby huffed, crossing her arms. "Well, what if one of them starts talking about _your_ sister's, I don't know, sexy abs or something?"

"That's never going to happen."

* * *

"So... are you worried Weiss will turn you in to the police or--"

"No," Blake said quickly. "No, I'm not worried about _that_ sort of thing. I guess I should be, obviously, but..." She shook her head. "Did you see how she reacted when Winter came up on that list?"

"Yeah, that was pretty hard to miss," Yang admitted. "Defending her honor, talking about getting ready for her visit, practically putting her on a pedestal..."

"Ruby was able to entertain the idea that her older sister might have a few faults." Blake cringed. "Weiss, though.... Look, I heard a lot of stories in the White Fang. And they weren't just about the SDC, they were about... well, every sort of oppression. One of the common threads was Atlas."

Yang nodded, leaning forward. "Really?"

"It's easy to get by in Atlas," Blake admitted. "If you play the part. Act polite, as though nothing's wrong. Turn a blind eye toward the problems." Her voice fell. "Play along when mocking the lower class... no news story focuses on the poor. Even the ones about murder are always tied up with a neat little bow. Cameras can be found on practically every street, supposedly to help with traffic problems that rarely crop up anyway. And everywhere you go, people will talk about the brave men and women serving in the army, how it's the greatest honor to give your life in service to the cause, without ever saying what that cause actually _is."_

"...Defending Atlas?" Yang offered hesitantly.

Blake looked her in the eyes. "From _what?"_

"Um." Yang frowned. "I want to say the Grimm."

"An army would be good against large hordes of Grimm," Blake agreed. "But large hordes of Grimm usually assault villages, not cities, who usually rely on a group of Huntsmen to stop them anyway. Or take the Argus Colossus, which was built to handle Leviathans... and _only_ Leviathans." She glanced away. "Maybe the stories I heard were biased. No, they were definitely biased. But... gathering all those resources, all that power, and making huge airships instead of something more flexible--"

"Okay, so Atlas is suspicious. What's this got to do with Weiss?"

Blake sighed. "...Weiss... seems to be a good person," she admitted. "But she was raised in Atlas. Inundated with the same stories, the same culture. And one of the easy ways to make everything going on seem acceptable is to make the army a sort of... mass paragon engine. If you're a soldier, you can do no wrong." She cringed. "The White Fang... kind of does something similar."

"The end justifies the means sort of deal, huh."

"Broadcast repeatedly and with fancier words." Blake rubbed the back of her head. "So, Weiss's sister--"

"Let me guess." Yang crossed her arms. "Winter could be a boot-licking psychologically abusive sadist but, because she's in the army, Weiss will be unable to look past the nobility she supposedly has."

"...I don't think Weiss is _that_ blind," Blake admitted. "I just think she hasn't ever had a need to question her sister, like how Ruby just did. And... if it comes up..." She pinched her brow. "I don't know if Weiss will be able to handle it."

Yang looked at her own boots for a long, quiet moment.

"...If." She took a breath. "If," she repeated, "it turns out Winter has some problems... well, we can help her work through them. I mean, Uncle Qrow's no saint, but he's still somebody Ruby and I love and admire. And..."

She bit her lip.

"If it's a situation like... like with you and Adam--"

Blake cringed.

"--then, uh, you... probably have an idea on how to help her handle that?"

"Yang, I don't have any idea on how to handle the situation _myself._ I literally ran away from my problems and came here!" Blake folded her legs up, burrowing her face in her knees. "And now this damned list comes along and I know he's going to show up at some point and I don't have a clue why or what's going to happen--"

How exactly Yang managed to move without Blake noticing would remain a mystery for the ages, but the warm arms that wrapped around her shocked her into silence.

"...We're all in this together," Yang said quietly. "This... meme thing, being Huntresses, whatever Adam's going to do--we're a team. And we will look out for each other. I promise."

"You don't know Adam," Blake murmured. "You don't know what he's capable of."

"...maybe not. But I know what you're capable of. And what I can do. And..." Yang swallowed. "And... you're my partner, Blake. You came here for me, so... I'll be there for you. I promise."

Blake's laugh was a bit weak. "...here I am, hiding my own problems again and again. First I hide my ears, then I hide my life in the White Fang, and then... Adam. And every single time, that damned list brings them up again."

"Yeah." Yang held her closer. "I have half a mind to break that thing."

"...no." Blake took a breath. "No. Forewarned is forearmed. I... need to think about what I'm keeping secret, why I'm keeping it secret, but... I think we all need to talk about it before the Vytal festival."

"Okay." Yang nodded. "But we should... agree about when to talk about it. As a team."

"...Yeah, we should." Blake, gently, pushed her back and stood up. "Let's... head back. I think Ruby's been worried about you for long enough."

Yang cringed. "Yeah... yeah, I really hope she hasn't gone hysterical."

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN?!"

"I mean," Weiss said patiently, "that Winter is a professional Atlesian specialist and, in this work of fiction we're apparently reading about, would not be portrayed in any sort of sensual manner."

Ruby stared at her, dumbfounded.

Weiss stared back, her face a mask of seriousness.

"...you're joking."

The corner of Weiss's lips twitched.

"Oh my god you're joking." Ruby sat down on the bed heavily. "You're actually joking. Weiss Schnee actually cracked a joke."

"Well, I did come to this school to learn new skills," Weiss allowed.

Ruby giggled. "Stop the presses! Weiss has _learned_ something!"

_"Hey!"_

"Oh come on, you usually act like you already know everything."

"I do not!" Weiss snapped. "...do I?"

"Eh..." Ruby waggled her hand noncommittally. "It's not too bad. You're willing to listen, you just... sometimes you have to make a point before you do, you know?"

Whatever Weiss was about to say in reply was cut off when Yang and Blake entered the room. The four members of team RWBY stared awkwardly at each other, even as the door swung shut.

Yang took a deep breath. "...so--"

"I'M SOOOOOORRYYYYY!" Ruby cried, slamming into her sister and clinging to her. "I never meant--I mean I just was worried that--I know you would never--"

"Hey! Hey." Yang pried her off gently. "It's okay. That... whole thing... it's a warning. A way to let us know what could happen. What we have to avoid, right?" She swallowed. "And... as the team leader, you need to see all the angles. Even the ones we don't want to talk about."

"I... I still shouldn't have done that," Ruby murmured. "I should have trusted--I _do_ trust you! I just..."

She trailed off, staring at Yang pleadingly.

After a moment, Yang opened her arms and Ruby slipped back into their embrace instantly.

"No matter what happens, we'll get through it together." Yang held her tightly. "I promise."

Weiss, quietly, stepped around the sisters and approached Blake. "...I... feel I owe you an apology," she admitted. "Demanding that you... making you swear that--"

"No." Blake took a breath. "There's a difference between being discriminatory and having a legitimate fear for your life. You have a lot to learn, but people who demand you learn without question--that you simply accept whatever they have to say, they're the kind of people who can lead you down dark paths." She rubbed her arm, awkwardly. "And... given what this list has brought up already, I... think we're going to have to talk more about my past, if only to prevent it catching up to us."

Weiss cringed. "Ah." She glanced at the scroll, resting in ominous innocence in the light of the setting sun. "Personal secrets.... Well, I'm fairly certain you won't be alone in that."

Blake quirked a brow. "Really?"

"I will... figure out how to talk about it if it comes up." Weiss cleared her throat. "Speaking of... Ruby?"

Ruby pulled herself from Yang. "Yes?"

"...Should we... continue?"

"Oh." Ruby swallowed. "Well." She looked around the room. "...Are we all good to continue? Emotionally?"

Yang rubbed the back of her head. "Well... we only did the first eight episodes of volume 3. And as much as the whole leg-breaking thing rattled me, I..." She shrugged. "I kind of want to know if that's where it ends."

Blake looked at the scroll warily. "...I think we need to continue, but... I don't know if I want to."

"...What if we just did ten more?" Weiss suggested. "Just... just ten more. And then we can decide if we need to put it down for a bit."

Ruby nodded hesitantly. "...Ten more. The first ten from the second part of volume three." She reached for the scroll, but pulled her hand back. "I... does anybody else want to--?"

Weiss took the scroll with some trepidation. "It was my idea, I should be the one who does it this time."

The girls, very carefully, made their way to their beds and sat down.

"...Whatever happens," Ruby said, "whatever we find out--we're here for each other. Right?"

Weiss nodded. "Right." Seeing Yang and Blake across from her, once more holding hands, she tapped the scroll and opened the new list.


	9. Chapter 7: Execute Order 66

**[Oh my god! They killed Penny! (You bastards!)]**

Ruby inhaled sharply. "So _that's_ how we're starting off."

"There's more," Weiss revealed. "Submemes, I mean."

**== >[Bad "Penny Dying" Jokes]**   
**== >["There are no strings on me."]**

"Well..." Yang tried to come up with something, and failed. "...damn."

Blake nodded slowly. "Penny dies. And... strings are involved, somehow."

"...It's not enough."

"Ruby--"

"It's not _enough!"_ Ruby insisted, pounding her fist into the bed. "Who is Penny? Why do they die? How are strings involved?! We--we need to figure this out, this is literally the exact reason we have this list, and--"

"Ruby!" Weiss put a hand on her shoulder. "Breathe. This is volume three. We're... _probably_ still in volume one. We will go looking for Penny, keep an eye out for them, I promise."

"I know, I just..." Ruby gestured at the scroll. "There's something I can do. Somebody I can save. And just sitting here, doing nothing? That's... I don't know if I can do that, Weiss." She wrung her hands. "I need to act. Somehow."

"...We can keep reading the list," Blake offered. "Maybe things will become clearer."

"...will they?" Ruby glared at the scroll. "Have they ever?"

"Well... slightly. Sometimes." Blake cringed. "I mean, Penny dying is the most direct it's ever been. Maybe... maybe that's a sign of things to come?"

Yang nodded. "Patience, Rubes. We've got to have a plan before we charge in." She put on a teasing grin. "You remember the Death Stalker, right?"

Ruby huffed, though a small smile was on her face. "I am never living that down, am I."

"Nope. Big sister rights: I get to tease you forever."

Weiss hummed quietly, tapping the scroll. "So... next on the list."

**[Scumbag Mercury]**

"Oh thank god!" Yang breathed. "He's alive and I'm justified."

Ruby put her hands on her hips. "Yang."

"Hey, I said 'he's alive' first!" Yang pointed out. "That counts for something, right?" She turned to Blake. "Right?"

"Eh...." Blake waggled a hand. "A little, but you've still got to acknowledge that there's the impression he was innocent."

"Alright, yeah. Just... going to avoid Mercury, until we know for sure what's going on with him."

"Probably for the best," Weiss agreed.

**[Wyvern vs Dragon.]**   
**== >[Kevin the dragon Grimm.]**

"Dragon Grimm." Yang sighed. "Okay, sure, why not."

"We're going to have to do research into this," Ruby said. "Blake, are you, uh, still keeping notes?"

Blake rolled her eyes. "Yes, Ruby, I'm still keeping notes."

"Okay. So..." Ruby looked at the scroll. "The dragon grimm versus a wyvern. How would that even work? Why would Grimm fight each other?"

Weiss tapped her fingers on the edge of the scroll. "...there is the possibility of it being a summon."

"What, like in a video game?"

"No, it--" Weiss shook her head. "My sister can summon fallen foes with her semblance. She's killed a beowolf, so now she can create a pack of beowolves."

"She can create Grimm?!"

"No, not--they're white, and they're under her control," Weiss explained. "Like... ghosts of the Grimm. And she's also got some nevermores and... a manticore? I think?" She shrugged. "My point is, if she killed a wyvern at some point, then she could summon it to fight the dragon. And since she's coming to visit anyway, it's not... unlikely she'll help protect Beacon from Kevin."

"Can I just say it's weird we're calling the dragon _Kevin?"_ Blake interjected.

Yang shrugged. "I mean, what else are we going to call it? Stephanie?"

"That's not the--" Blake began, before catching sight of the grin on her partner's face. "Right. Dumb jokes from another world."

Weiss rose a finger. "Speaking of which..."

**[** _**IT'S JUST A FU--** _ **um...** _**FUZZY GUN.** _ **]**

Yang crossed her arms. "Weiss."

"Yes Yang?"

"Does it actually say 'fuzzy'?"

Weiss bowed her head. "No Yang. It does not."

"What does it actually--oh." Ruby looked over Weiss's shoulder. "Okay then."

Yang's eyes widened and she leaned forward in shock. "Wait, Ruby, you know--"

"I'm _fifteen,_ Yang! Just because I don't use swear words doesn't mean I don't know what they are!" Ruby rolled her eyes. "Yeesh."

"Okay, but do you know what fuck actually _means?"_ Blake asked.

Ruby blinked. "It's---it's a swear word? It means I'm swearing, or... I'm angry or... why is everybody looking at me like that?"

"...NOT IT!" Weiss declared.

"Oh god," Yang groaned, "it's going to have to be me, isn't it?"

"I could do it if you're too uncomfortable--"

"Could you, Blake?!" Yang clung to her partner's arm. "Really? I don't want to have to tell my Dad--"

Ruby groaned. "Oh come on, it can't possibly be that bad."

"Does she at least know about..." Blake cleared her throat. "You know."

"I... hope so?" Yang put a hand to her head. "Well, I don't know if I hope, because if she doesn't we'll have to tell--"

Ruby threw up her hands. "We live on Patch, Yang! There are farms! I've seen horses give birth, I know what sex is!"

"OH. Okay, yeah." Yang let out a breath. "Yeah, okay. Good. Yeah."

Weiss cleared her throat. "Bringing this back on track. 'It's just a... effing gun.'" She saw the looks she was getting. "Look, I don't care that it's on the list, I have standards, I'm not going to say that word."

"The fact that 'it' is just a gun is the important part," Blake noted. "Somebody's weapon is just a gun." She gave Ruby a look. "You're not going to throw up, are you?"

"Wha--no. No no no." Ruby shook her head with a chuckle. "Some people just express themselves purely through firearms. It says something about them, sure, but as long as they choose the gun for themselves, it... it's their choice."

"But somehow the Atlesian army is _gross_ for using mass-produced weaponry," Weiss deadpanned.

"It's like they're _zombies,_ Weiss! Like their souls have been extracted and replaced with, with, some sort of parasite soul, thing!"

"Ruby." Yang brought her hands together. "You may be reading a little too much into the whole mass-produced weaponry thing. I'm sure the soldiers don't have as much of an attachment to their weapons as huntresses here in Vale."

Ruby humphed. "So what you're saying is Atlas lacks culture."

"HEY!"

"No," Blake agreed, "she is kind of right, Weiss. How many works of art were made in Atlas, instead of just imported?"

"Quite a few!" Weiss insisted. "That I... don't have memorized, because I was busy learning to be a company heiress and a huntress! I can look it up later!" She furiously tapped the scroll. "Let's just move on and--oh. Um."

She swallowed. "Blake? You should probably brace yourself for this."

Blake sighed. "Cat puns?"

"No, it's..." Weiss cringed. _"...him."_

"...oh." Blake gripped Yang's hand tightly. "...Okay."

**[Ragtime Adam.]**

"...so." Blake let out a breath. "He arrives in Volume 3."

"Yep." Yang squeezed her hand. "We'll be ready for him. And his... ragtime. Whatever that is."

"It's a musical genre," Weiss explained.

Blake shook her head. "Adam... is not one for music. So it's probably a stupid joke. What's... important is that we're ready for him." She cringed. "Whenever volume three comes around."

"...I think he'll come _after_ Weiss's sister?" Ruby suggested. "And the point where Yang would have broken Mercury's legs except she's not going to do that now--the point is, if these memes are listed in some sort of order we'll have a head's up, right?"

"...Right."

Weiss nodded slowly. "Okay. So..."

**[Execute Order 66.]**

"...what is Order 66?"

Weiss gave Ruby a look. "I don't know! How should _I_ know?"

"I mean, you're the one with a sister in the Atlesian army," Ruby pointed out. "If anybody knew about numbered orders, it would be you."

"Orders aren't _numbered_ , they're--well, usually they're given, but standing orders are _labeled_. The Maelstrom protocol, or the Omega protocol, things like that."

"Maybe it's an order to Atlas Knights?" Blake suggested. "They have... codes. So it could be that they have numbered orders."

"Or..." Yang frowned. "It could be... you know, the robot person."

Ruby's eyes fell. "...well. Let's just peg this one as vaguely ominous and move on."

**[Velvet will steal your soul.]**   
**== >[Unlimited Velvet/Bunny works.]**

"Okay, that is just mean," Yang said. "Why the hell would anyone think Velvet can steal souls? Is this some new form of racism I haven't heard about?"

"It's new to me too," Blake admitted. "I don't think it's a race thing--the stealing soul bit, and I'm pretty sure they're just using bunny as... sidehand?"

Ruby cleared her throat. "Um. So. You know how sometimes I, kind of, talk with Coco about how to be a better team leader?"

"...I was not aware of this," Weiss said.

"It's not something I do regularly," Ruby admitted. "Just occasionally, when we run into each other at the library or during sparring class. She's given me some tips about things here and there... and she did mention that Velvet's semblance is the ability to perfectly mimic the fighting style of anybody she's seen." She started setting up invisible blocks in the air. "Semblance is aura, and aura is the manifestation of the soul, so..."

"So Velvet mimicking others is sort of copying their soul," Blake concluded. "Thus, this is another bad joke."

"Yeah."

"But what's Unlimited Velvet Works mean?" Weiss asked.

Yang rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "That _feels_ like a reference. There's something called Unlimited Blank Works in some video game or movie or something, and Velvet does something similar, so..." She shrugged. "I don't know."

"Yeah, this feels like something we'd need to ask her about," Ruby admitted. "Still. She does something cool enough that the fans notice. That's good to know, I guess."

"Yes. Well, next up is--" Weiss looked down at the scroll and blanched. "Oh. Oh god."

"What? What's--?" Ruby looked over her shoulder, and her eyes went wide. "Oh he _unmph--!"_

She rushed for the small trash bin in the corner, fighting her heaving stomach.

"Ruby, are--" Yang stood. "Are you okay?"

"I might throw up," Ruby announced weakly. "I'm trying not to but-- _hnnmph_ \--but I might."

Weiss took a breath. "Yang, maybe you should--"

"You know what? If Ruby's reacting like this, I should be the one to read it."

Weiss blinked as the scroll was plucked out of her hands. "Wait, Yang, DON'T--!"

**[Bad "Yang losing an arm" jokes.]**

The room fell silent.

Yang stared at the scroll in her grasp. Unbreathing. Unmoving.

Blake stood up. Her eyes were wide, her steps hesitant, but she carefully took Yang's shoulder in one hand, and her wrist in the other.

"...oh," Yang managed, quietly.

Weiss's eyes fell. "Yang, I--"

"...there's... uh..." Yang swallowed. "There are... submemes."

Ruby gagged in the corner of the room.

"We should... stop," Blake suggested. "Just for--"

"No." Yang took a breath. "No, the... the submemes might give us... might explain this. And there are... we haven't done ten, yet. We said we'd do ten."

"Yang--"

"She's right," Ruby creaked, still bent over the trash bin. "We want to change the future, so we need to know what to change."

"The submemes and two more." Yang nodded. "Just... to get it over with."

Blake sighed, wrapping her fingers tighter around her shoulder. "Oh, Yang..."

"...Weiss." Yang held out the scroll. "Just... be quick, okay?"

Weiss took the scroll quietly, nodding toward the bed opposite her. She waited for Yang to be sitting down, Blake holding her tightly, before taking a slow breath.

**== >[Yang Skywalker]**

"Reference," Yang said quietly. "Some guy named Skywalker lost a hand. Or I learn to fly or something."

**== >[Punished Yang]**

Ruby heaved again.

"That is sick," Blake growled quietly. "That is _evil."_

**== >[The Yellow Knight]**

"...so, what... I lose my hand because I'm a hero?"

"Face an opponent," Weiss offered quietly. "One that can... yeah." Her fingers were trembling as she tapped the scroll.

**== >[Yes, even Barbara made jokes about it.]**

The corner of Yang's lips twitched treacherously. "God damn it, Barb." The attempt at humor was weak, dying even as she said the words.

Blake's one-armed hug tightened, and she gently rested her forehead against Yang's shuddering shoulder.

**== >[I may fall.... But not like this, it won't be / Bye, your hand]**

"That's um... that's bye like goodbye," Weiss explained hesitantly. "And it's got a slash before it, like it's somebody else responding--"

Ruby felt her body tighten treacherously. _"Hrk--"_

"Just one more submeme!" Weiss reassured everyone quickly. "Maybe it won't be so bad!"

**== >["7.8/10 too many arms"]**

The wet splattering of Ruby forgoing her dinner punctuated the look of disgust on Blake's face, and the distant gaze on Yang's.

"...I think I hate our fans," Weiss managed.

"Bad eggs," Yang said quietly. "Dark humor. I've heard people try to cope by making things into a joke..."

Ruby heaved again.

"And, you know, to them, it's just a show--"

"Yang." Blake brought her other arm around, fully committing to the embrace.

The blonde took a deep breath, and let it out shakily. "...oh god. Oh god, I--I mean we know now, so maybe we can stop it, but--we don't know how, we barely know when, I could lose my arm, I don't even know which arm--"

Weiss tossed the scroll aside, lunging over to join the hug. "I'm sorry, I--I'm so--"

"Not your fault, I--oh god." Yang took a breath. "It's actually hitting me now. Oh god."

Ruby managed to turn away from the bin for a moment, stand up--and then her stomach clenched again and she spun back around. "Considermehuggingyouin _HRRRFFFMMmmmaaaa..._ in... in spirit. Uuuuunngh..."

"...Ruby?" Yang blinked away the tears in her eyes, looking over. "Are you okay?"

"I don't think I've got that much left to come out," Ruby reassured her, though the scratchy tone of her voice didn't help. "Just... just give me a moment."

"...Ruby." Yang took a breath, breaking out of the hug. "I... I just..."

Her words failed her. So she walked over, kneeling down and putting a gentle hand on her sister's back.

"Why are you worried about me?" Ruby murmured. "You're the one who's going to lose an arm if we don't do anything!"

"But you're the one throwing up into the trash." Yang put on a small smile. "I've got time to figure out the... arm thing, this is what's happening now."

"Ugh...." Ruby took a deep, shuddering breath. "Was. _Was_ what was happening. It's over, I, I've got it under control."

Yang helped her stand up. "You sure?"

"As long as---as nothing else happens." Ruby looked over to the rest of her team. "Two more left?"

"Ruby--"

She leveled a firm look on Weiss.

"...okay." Weiss sighed. "Okay, two more, but then we are stopping."

"...Yeah." Ruby nodded, leaning on Yang as she stumbled back to her seat. "Fair enough."

Blake chewed on her lip, but carefully picked up the scroll from the ground. "Weiss, do you--?"

"I--no. Not right now."

"...Then I'll do it." Blake looked down. "Just two more."

**["You had one goddamn job, Jaune!"]**   
**== >[Jaune did nothing wrong.]**

"Hooboy." Yang groaned. "That coming right after the, uh, big list, that--"

"There's no guarantee they're related." Weiss shrugged. "All this means is that Jaune had a job, and he failed, and... it's probably not his fault. Something just... beyond his capabilities, or something."

"Heh." Ruby rose a finger, still wavering a little. "This is a school, Weiss. We come here to learn to be better. And Jaune... has gotten a _little_ better, I think... So he'll probably be a lot better whent his comes around."

"I'm not haraunging him, I'm saying... there's apparently going to be a dragon grimm, and people dying, and... it's going to be a lot."

"Okay, that's fair." Ruby took a deep breath. "This... barely tells us anything. Beyond 'watch for Jaune' or something, you know?"

"Yeah." Yang looked across to Blake. "One left?"

Blake nodded. "One left."

**[Thank you very much!]**

"No context, no clues..." Yang sighed. "This is probably sarcasm. 'Thank you very much for all the horrible things going on, show creators.' You know, something like that."

"That's not a very in depth analysis--"

"Weiss." Yang flicked her eyes toward Ruby.

"...but I suppose it can wait." Weiss nodded. "We learned a lot this time around, and... and not all of it was pleasant." She sighed. "Actually, most of it was unpleasant."

Blake shut off the scroll with a roll of her eyes. "Now there's an understatement."

"Is there... more?" Ruby asked hesitantly. "For the volume three stuff."

"...Yes."

"Okay." Ruby shut her eyes. "We... don't know enough about what to change, but... we know some things. So..."

She tapped her fingers on her knees.

"...The people we don't know. That got mentioned in the list. Mercury, Neo, Cinder, Emerald, Kerry... Penny. What we're going to do is keep an eye out for them, alright? We don't look at the list again until we find at least one of them."

Yang rubbed her sister's back gently. "Okay. Okay."

"And then we start with volume three again."

Weiss's eyebrows shot up. "Ruby--"

"It's important. It's the first... important part. The General stuff is about the fandom, the Volume stuff is about us." Ruby opened her eyes, staring intensely at the scroll. "We're going to save as many people as we can, but we need to know how to do that first."

"...alright." Weiss took the scroll from Blake, setting it aside. "But not before we meet one of the... strangers? Should we call them strangers, the people we're looking for?"

Blake hummed. "That works, I think." She stood up, glancing at the trash can. "Ruby?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm... going to get you a glass of water, okay?"

Ruby chuckled. "Okay. Yeah... sorry about that."

"It's fine," Weiss assured her. "I don't know how I'd react to hearing Winter was going to get hurt like that."

Yang, wrapping her arm around Ruby's shoulders, watched Blake carry the trash bin out. "Yeah, I'd definitely flip my lid if I heard somebody was going to hurt you."

Ruby sighed. "Yang."

"What?"

"Stop making this about me." She gave her sister a stern look. "You're the one in danger, right?"

"Hypothetically! Hypothetically in danger." Yang waved it off. "It'll be fine--"

"Look, if you're not going to talk to me about it, fine. I'm your little sister. I... I get that." Ruby's face softened. "But... at least talk to _somebody?"_

"I--..."

Yang swallowed.

"...Okay. But not tonight. I need to sleep on it first."

"I think we all should get some rest," Weiss agreed. "Which means you two need to get off my bed."

Ruby hopped up with an apologetic smile. "Right! Right."

"Easy there, ice queen." Yang stood, playfully glowering at Weiss. "Just because you need hours of beauty sleep doesn't mean you have to be rude about it."

"I don't need--you know what, I'm not in the mood." Weiss shoved her way past the sisters and flopped onto her bed. "If anybody has nightmares tonight, try not to scream too loudly."

"Can't promise that," Blake quipped as she walked in with the now-empty trash bin. "Ruby, here."

"Oh, thanks!" Ruby took the glass of water from her hands. "Actually, um... about the nightmare thing..."

She glanced at Weiss awkwardly.

"...what? Why are you looking at me like--"

"I'm just... you know, maybe, since, um, things, we should... just in case..."

"Are you saying we should share beds in case we wake up in the middle of the night and need cuddles?" Yang asked.

"Yeah." Ruby took a gulp of water. "Yeah, I know it's weird, but so's everything right now."

"Mmmngh." Weiss shut her eyes. "Fine. We'll do that."

"Me and you, Blake and Yang?"

Blake blinked. "Me with Yang?"

"I mean I'd go with Yang," Ruby admitted, "but that would leave you with Weiss and... there is a bit of tension between you two that could prevent therapeutic cuddling?"

"Good a reason as any." Yang glanced out the window at the rising moon. "Let me just change into my PJs."

"Right. Pajamas." Blake nodded. "Yes."

"Unnngh." Weiss sat up. "I suppose I should change into my nightgown too."

"Yeah." Ruby looked at the scroll for a moment. "Get some rest... and worry about the future tomorrow."


	10. Interlude: Now In Chibi Form!

"Coffee." Ruby rose a finger. "All of us."

"I'll take tea," Blake corrected.

"Sure?"

"I've gone for weeks on little sleep before. Back with..." Blake shrugged. "You know."

"...Coffee," Ruby reiterated, "and we take a nap break during lunch hour."

Weiss snorted, but didn't protest. The bags under everyone's eyes were self-evident, making them look like a pack of lemurs just escaped from some depraved circus. She poured a mug and handed it to Yang, who had forgotten to swap out her pajama top for the usual yellow bandeau and was missing her normal scarf. Well, not _missing_ it really, it was wrapped around Blake's neck; Weiss gave it a significant glance as she handed her a mug, getting a roll of the eyes in return. She self-consciously ran a hand through her long white locks as she poured two more mugs; maybe she should have styled it in her usual ponytail but, for some reason, she just... didn't feel like it. As she dumped blasphemous amounts of sugar into one mug, she spared a look at her team leader; Ruby accepted the coffee with a small, thankful smile, idly scratching at the sleeping mask still tangled in her hair.

"Why does it have to be monday?" Yang grumbled, savoring the smell of caffeine. "I just don't want to go to class after... you know, last night."

"Mmm." Weiss sipped at her mug. "Yes, there were... a lot of things that got revealed all at once." She watched Ruby gulp down her entire drink and quirked an eyebrow. "Huh, all better already?"

"Yeah, I'm good. I haven't thrown up since I was..." Ruby frowned. "...Yang, was it my fifth or sixth birthday I ate all the candy?"

"Sixth. I remember, you were Action Abigail."

"Haha, yeah." Ruby started pouring herself another cup of coffee. "And I was so upset you wouldn't dress up as Ferocious Felicity..."

Yang chuckled awkwardly, cringing as she gave Blake an embarrassed and apologetic look. "I mean... you know..."

"You didn't think you could pull off the cat ears?" Blake offered with a wry little grin.

"Yeah, sure, let's go with that."

Weiss stared at Ruby. "Why would you dress up for your birthday?"

"I was born on All Hallow's Eve," Ruby explained, putting the last cube of sugar into her cup and stirring.

"Oh." Weiss watched her drain her mug again. "Well that explains your fashion sense, I guess."

"Yep."

Ruby went to pour herself a third cup, but Yang grabbed her hand. "I'm cutting you off there, Rubes."

"Oh come on--"

"You're still growing, you're already ridiculously speedy, and you threw up for the first time in years last night. Take some juice if you want."

With a roll of her eyes, Ruby complied, reaching for another drink. "Yeah, we should probably get a table instead of just standing here anyway..."

The group shambled over to a small group of seats off in one corner, taking seats and sagging into them. Blake awkwardly cleared her throat. "So... Ruby, you're going to be a huntress..."

"Yeah?"

"And... you threw up last night," she continued cautiously. "When, you know--"

"What Blake is saying is that we're going to see terrible things," Weiss stated. "Like dead bodies and... stuff." She took a quick sip of her coffee, swallowing and steadying herself. "And if, uh, you're not able to handle that--"

"Oh, no no no, I'm actually mostly fine with that. Dead bodies don't bother me." Ruby grinned. "All Hallow's Eve, I got to see some really _creepy_ stuff every birthday. Fake blood, dismembered limbs, mangled corpses, yeah, I'm good with _dead_ bodies."

She took a small sip of her juice. "But... living people? Who are maimed, suffering? That... that gets to me. Not as much as it used to, and I realize... we're going to see that too, so I've been trying to... work past that. Just, you know, last night, after, uh, Blake's whole panic attack and the Break a Leg thing, to have _that_ brought up and just hammered in like that..."

Her eyes drifted guiltily toward Yang.

"...Yeah, I feel you there." Yang wrapped her hands around her coffee mug, staring at them. "I... I don't think I ever told you how rattled I was, after Uncle Qrow saved us."

Ruby sighed. "Yang... you were _six."_

"Yeah, well, doesn't... doesn't change what happened." She shut her eyes. "How I... yeah."

"Is..." Blake ran a finger on the edge of her mug. "Is whatever happened something we should be worried about?"

"It was years ago," Ruby replied quickly. "Heck, I don't even remember it! And really it's Yang's story to tell, so..."

Yang stared at the mug in her hands.

"...I decided to take my little sister on a quest into the woods. Lasted until we were both tired, she was sleeping in the wagon. Beowolves found us. Uncle Qrow had been right on our tail, so we survived, but... you know." She shrugged. "That kind of thing sticks with you."

Blake gently reached out, putting a hand on Yang's shoulder. She didn't say anything, only offering a gentle look when Yang glanced at her.

"...I think I'll talk to professor Goodwitch," Ruby decided. "See if she has any advice on how to not throw up when I think about people in pain."

Weiss wrapped her hands around her mug. "Are you going to tell her about the list?"

"What? No." Ruby put on a big fake smile. "Hi professor! My team got mailed a magic scroll that tells the future in the form of obscure and terrible jokes! Would you like to help us interpret the meaning of me being a prison lesbian?"

Yang snorted. "Yeah, she'd never believe anything so ridiculous."

"I'll just tell her that..." Ruby paused. "...that Yang was joking about losing her arm and I threw up."

"Wha-- _hey!"_

"Look, it's the most realistic thing I can think of! You're a little gung-ho, and there are plenty of huntsmen who make jokes like that." Ruby shrugged. "If you've got some other excuse--"

"You read it in a book," Blake offered, "and it was incredibly well detailed. Gruesomely accurate. Something like that."

"...That works too."

Yang huffed, crossing her arms.

Ruby stared into her cup, watching her reflection in the juice. "Have we... been using the list right?"

Blake looked at her askance. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... there's the potential to learn so much," Ruby pointed out. "If we just sat down one day, forced ourselves to go through it--"

"First of all, cramming isn't something even the professors expect us to do," Weiss pointed out. "We need time to process, let it sink in."

"Secondly," Blake added, "before yesterday it was just a list of jokes. What did we have? A few names, why I wear a bow, Nora's Break A Leg thing that proved it could tell the future, and we're going to meet a robot person. That... that everything got revealed last night..." She rubbed her eyes. "I mean, _now_ I think we should take this more seriously. I just don't think we had reason to beforehand."

"Hey." Yang wrapped her arm around her shoulders. "Weiss is right, though. If we just ram on through this list without stopping, we're going to wear ourselves out. I mean, look at us now!" She tapped her cheek pointedly. "We are going to be flopping over in class. Don't know what the teachers will think, really."

"We pulled an all-nighter. It's not unusual." Weiss finally drained her mug. "Toast?"

"I could go for pancakes," Ruby said.

Weiss managed a sly grin. "Of course. They're basically big soft cookies, right?"

"Stop that." Ruby glowered half-heartedly. "Stop. I'm not... cookie... bribable."

"Of course not." Yang smiled. "You drink milk."

Ruby's face fell onto the table with a groan.

* * *

Despite their weariness, team RWBY managed to keep coherent notes between them all during classes. Their teachers didn't question them too much, thankfully enough; it had to have been obvious just how out of it the group was. When lunch rolled around, they found team JNPR had already gotten their plates set up for them.

"Huh." Ruby nodded vaguely. "Thanks, guys..."

"Hey, I know how important a good meal is to get back on your game." Nora pat her shoulder gently. "Just take the time you need, alright? And, uh... if there's anything we can do to help..."

"It's..." She shared a look with Yang. "...team drama. Well, not even drama, really, it's, uh... well--"

"Blake and I had a spirited political debate," Weiss explained. "We were awake for a long while."

"Oh." Nora's eyes flicked between her and Blake. "So, you two, uh--"

"We're not enemies," Blake replied. "It's one of those complicated things where we've... realized that we'll need time to sort it all out."

"Yes." Weiss nodded. "Time. And Ruby and Yang got caught up in it because..." She rolled her hand. "It's not even drama right now. Just... we got too into it. Yes."

"Huh." Nora stared at them for a moment longer, frowning quietly. "...Well, I'm right across the hall," she finally said. "If any of you ever need to talk."

Yang chuckled. "Yeah, we'll remember that."

Ruby snapped her fingers. "You know what? I just remembered I left something in the dorm. I'll, uh, be right back." She rushed off before anybody could respond.

The halls weren't as empty as she was expecting, students here and there standing around and talking, but nobody tried to stop her as she went. Soon enough, she was shutting the dorm door behind her, taking a deep breath.

"...this will help. If we have a forewarning..." She nodded. "It's for the best."

She reached out and picked up the scroll.

**[Error: Team RWBY is not present. Contents cannot be accessed without team RWBY.]**

"Wh--?!" Ruby stared at the scroll. "Come on! I'm the team _leader!_ It's my job to help everyone!"

**[Error: Team RWBY is not present. Contents cannot be accessed without team RWBY.]**

"Come on," Ruby muttered, pawing at the screen. "There's got to be an override here somewhere..."

**[Error: Team RWBY is not present. Contents cannot be accessed without team RWBY.]**

"...Fine!" Ruby slapped the scroll back down. "Okay! Okay, okay, it has to be all of us! I get it." She sighed. "I get it."

There was a knock on the door. "Ruby?"

"Huh--oh!" Ruby rushed over, opening the door. "Blake! Hi! I, uh..." Her eyes darted around. "There it is! My textbook."

"Your textbook."

"Yep." Ruby rubbed the back of her head. "I just... want to be able to keep up in afternoon classes. After last night. Take no risks, you know?"

"Yeah." Blake nodded, sidling past her. "I know. I, uh... was just going to get my notebook."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense."

"Yep. Here it is." Blake picked up her notebook. "My notebook."

"So... we should head back to the cafeteria."

"...yeeees." Blake paused. "I think Weiss is worried about you," she prompted.

Ruby stared at her.

"You know. Because... you're her partner."

Ruby took a deep breath. "...Did you want to get a head start on the list too?"

Blake opened her mouth, paused, and looked away. "Guess it was kind of obvious."

"Yeah, well, I already tried. It refuses to open unless all four of us are present, so..." Ruby sighed, leaning against the door. "I thought I could at least... if I knew, I could..."

Blake stared at the scroll for a moment.

"Ruby..." She stepped forward, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You have a good heart. You... don't want any of us hurting, you care about all of us. It's obvious. But.... if you try to take everything on yourself, if you keep all your pain and doubt to yourself, it will weigh you down."

"You were going to read it yourself too."

Blake nodded. "Yes. Because... I'm used to keeping my pain to myself." Her eyes fell. "I know what I'm talking about."

Ruby's eyes softened. "...oh."

"Yeah."

After a moment, Ruby wrapped Blake in a hug. "I'm sorry."

"It's... it's okay." Blake embraced her back, resting her chin on Ruby's head. "We'll figure this out. All of us, together."

"...as a team." Ruby took a breath. "As a team."

"Yeah."

"...well. Um." Ruby pushed herself out of the embrace, blinking a bit. "Well," she said again. "We should actually head back to the cafeteria."

"Right." Blake nodded. "A good meal is important to get back on your game."

Ruby laughed as they walked out. "A good meal... with good friends. Nora does come up with some great ideas, doesn't she?"

* * *

"I cannot believe we didn't find anyone from the list this whole week!"

Ruby rolled her shoulders, wrinkling her nose at the smell of fish coming from the nearby docks. "Well, Cinder wasn't mentioned till the second volume, and Penny didn't show up until the third--"

"I know that!" Weiss said quickly. "I know that. But Neo and Kerry were general meme people. They could have shown up at any time. Mercury... I don't know, Mercury could be mentioned in general and not show up till the third like--"

She cut herself off, glancing at Blake.

"...Like Adam," Blake sighed.

Yang took her hand gently.

"...I promise, once we finish the third volume and before we get to the fourth, I'll tell you all about him. It's..." Blake steadied herself. "It's just... a lot."

"Mmmnh."

Ruby snorted. "Something you want to say there Weiss?"

Weiss opened her mouth, glanced at Blake again, and shook her head. "It's nothing."

"...Are you worried you'll sound racist?" Blake asked.

"That... is only _part_ of it," Weiss hedged. "It's just--"

"Whoa." Ruby stopped. "Guys..."

The four of them stopped, staring at the shattered window of a storefront and a door covered in yellow caution tape.

Ruby turned to the two detectives at the site. "What happened here?"

"Robbery." One of them shook his head. "Second Dust shop to be hit this week. This place is turning into a jungle."

"That's..." Yang shared a look with the others. "...suspicious."

"They left all the money again," the other detective reported.

"Yeah, just doesn't make a lick of sense." His partner frowned. "Who needs that much Dust?"

"I don't know, an army?"

"You thinking the White Fang?"

Blake stiffened, leaning in toward Yang.

"Yeah... I'm thinking we don't get paid enough."

"It could be Roman Torchwick," Ruby offered quickly.

The detective sighed. "Look, kid--"

"I stopped him from robbing a Dust shop right before the school year started," Ruby continued. "He got away, but headmaster Ozpin let me into Beacon early because of it."

"Riiiiiight..."

"I can corroborate her report," Weiss added, stepping forward and pulling out her I.D. "Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust company. I'm sure you've heard of me?"

The detective rolled his eyes. "We'll look into the Torchwick angle, alright? But even if he's the one stealing Dust, he's got to sell it to somebody, and I don't think the local criminal element's hurting for it."

Yang coughed into her fist. "I, uh... heard some guys talking about a chick that blew up a gang leader's night club. Could be related."

"Girls." The other detective stepped forward. "We appreciate your initiative as concerned citizens, and we'll look into the evidence you've provided, but we are _professionals._ Please go about your day and leave the interpretation to us."

"...Of course, officer." Weiss pocketed her I.D., nodding to the others and leading them away. "Come along, everyone."

The group turned away from the scene of the crime, walking down the docks. Weiss glanced over her shoulder after a moment, carefully leaning in toward Blake.

"So... would it be crass of me to suggest that... they might be right about it being the White Fang?"

Blake glowered at her.

"I mean, you left for a reason, right? Them getting too violent, and--"

"Weiss..." Ruby murmured warningly.

"Right. Right, just..." Weiss took a breath. "Right. No real evidence." She sighed. "Just... my own biases--"

"Hey!" shouted somebody. "Stop that faunus!"

Team RWBY shared a look, rushing down the docks just in time to see a young man with a monkey tail leap off the edge of a boat.

"Thanks for the ride, guys! Haha!"

A sailor rushed after him, shaking his fist. "You no-good stowaway!"

"Hey! A _no-good_ stowaway would have been caught!" The faunus jumped onto a lamppost, hanging inverted from his tail as he peeled back a banana. "I'm a _great_ stowaway!"

"So, uh..." Weiss cleared her throat. "If he _admits_ he's a criminal--"

"Hey!" One of the detectives rushed past team RWBY, waving at the faunus. "Get down from there this instant!"

The young man dropped the banana peel on the detective's face, twirling up to the top of the lamppost and leaping off just as the officer's partner arrived. His shoes hit the docks running, and he spared the girls a smirk and a wink before vanishing into the streets with the detectives on his heels.

Blake pinched the bridge of her nose. "I don't know what to tell you about _that_ one, Weiss."

"Wait, what was his name?"

The team looked at Ruby.

"I mean--" Ruby held out her hands. "What if he's Mercury? Or Neo? Or _Kerry?!"_

Weiss's eyes widened. Blake and Yang shared a surprised look.

The group rushed after the young man, trying to catch up to him before the detectives. As they rounded the corner, Weiss slammed into something, accidentally knocking it over--Ruby skidded to a stop, while Blake and Yang spotted the flash of a golden tail disappearing over a nearby roof. Blake reached for her back, her hand clutching on empty air.

"...Right. I left Gambol Shroud at Beacon."

Weiss groaned. "So he got away?"

Yang turned around with a groan. "Yeah, I guess he... uh..."

"What?" Weiss followed her gaze, finally seeing the smiling orange-haired girl under her. "Oh!" She hastily got up, dusting her skirt.

"Uh, hello!" Ruby managed.

"Salutations!" the orange-haired girl replied.

"I am so sorry for knocking you down," Weiss said quickly. "It was just--that faunus, we were--I mean--" She cringed. "Are you alright?"

"I'm wonderful!" the girl declared cheerfully. "Thank you for asking."

Team RWBY stared at her for a moment longer.

"So..." Yang cleared her throat. "Do you want to get up...?"

The girl tilted her head. "Yes!" She leapt to her feet with startling athleticism, smiling at them all. "My name is Penny! It's a pleasure to meet you!"


	11. Interlude: There Are No Strings On Me

"...Penny," Ruby repeated, her breath catching.

Penny tilted her head curiously. "Yes? That is my name."

"I... uh..." Ruby swallowed, forcing a smile on her face. "Well hi! I'm Ruby Rose. And this is my team, uh, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna, and Yang Xiao Long."

"It's a pleasure to meet you!"

Weiss stared at her. "You already--"

"SO!" Yang interjected quickly. "Where are you from, Penny?"

"Atlas," Penny replied brightly. "I'm here to fight in the tournament!"

Blake nodded to herself. "That _does_ fit..."

Ruby shifted on her feet for a moment or two, fighting to keep smiling. "Well, it's always nice to make a new friend!"

Penny's eyes widened. "What did you call me?"

"Um...." Ruby tried to run through the last few minutes in her head.

"You called me 'friend!'" The girl leaned close, her expression eager. "Am I _really_ your friend?"

Ruby looked at that innocent smile, stared into the green eyes filled with awe, and felt something rise up within her. One moment she was standing still and the next--the next her arms were wrapped tightly around her as she fought back tears.

"Of course, Penny." Her voice was thick with emotion. "Of course I'm your friend."

"Sen-sational!" Penny declared brightly. "Is hugging friends normal in Vale?" she asked as an afterthought.

"It--uh..." Ruby backed off, looking to her team desperately.

"I mean..." Yang shrugged. "It's not unheard of."

"Oh! Then allow me to return the gesture."

"That's okay, I don't want to _hrmph!"_ Ruby was suddenly in a vice grip, lifted off the ground by her new friend. "Okay," she wheezed, "now I believe you're here for the tournament."

"Oh this is incredible!" Penny rambled. "We can paint our nails, and try on clothes, and talk about cute boys!"

"Or girls," Blake added in an amused tone.

"Oh!" Penny released Ruby, allowing her to catch her breath. "I'm sorry, I did not mean to presume--"

"It's alright." Weiss rubbed her arm, awkwardly looking away. "We're all quite familiar with how... _limited_ Atlesian culture can be at times."

"That's one way to put it," Yang deadpanned.

"Well, that sounds great!" Ruby declared. "The, uh, us talking and getting to know each other! Why don't we, uh... why don't we head around town and... and..."

She looked into Penny's eyes again.

"...I can't do this," she said, voice quavering. She beat back a few tears. "Girls, I... we need to tell her."

"Tell me what?"

Weiss put a hand on Ruby's shoulder. "I... if you're sure, Ruby--"

"I am. I..." Ruby paused. "I'm sure," she finally said.

"...Then we should head for the dorm," Yang pointed out. "She'd never believe us otherwise."

Penny was looking at them all, increasingly confused. "I'm sorry, I believe I have missed something important."

Blake stepped forward and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "What Ruby means to say is... we have something we need to show you."

* * *

The dorm was mostly quiet, as the girls watched Penny read the letter which had started the whole thing. Ruby held the scroll in her hands, eyes darting from the damning words to the girl that shared their name.

"...This feels like an arrangement deliberately meant to interpose reactions for humorous value," Penny finally said.

"Yeah, we thought it was a prank too, at first," Ruby admitted. "But the list of memes that came with that letter... well, they revealed things that would have been hard to know otherwise. And one of them has already predicted the future--I mean, the thing that it seemed to say would happen actually happened--"

"I see." Penny put the letter down cautiously. "If that is the case... might I ask why you felt the need to tell me?"

Ruby swallowed, taking one last look at the scroll, and held it out for her. "Just... We didn't make these," she reminded Penny.

"I understand," Penny assured her as she took the scroll, "and I will not judge you for... what..."

Her voice trailed off as she read the lines.

"...ah," she said finally, distantly. "Yes, that... that _is_ disturbing."

"We... we're pretty sure that the volume three stuff happens during the tournament itself," Yang offered hesitantly. "And obviously we're going to try our best to make sure the bad things don't happen--"

"You are certain this list is accurate?"

Blake cringed. "Well... as accurate as a list of _memes_ can be, anyway. We're trying to cross-reference everything. And, you said your name and..." She shrugged.

Penny nodded quietly, putting the scroll aside. "That... makes sense."

The quiet pain in her voice was enough to move Ruby, to move her up from the bed and to move her arms around her. "I'm sorry, Penny. I--I wish we didn't have to drop this on you, really."

"I... do not know how I would have reacted in your situation," Penny admitted. "...Do you mind if I... take some time to think about this?"

"Of course." Ruby hung onto her tightly. "We aren't asking anything else of you."

"Actually," Weiss interjected, "there is one thing. You said you're from Atlas, right?"

"I... yes, I am."

"Well, we... have reason to believe that a robotic person may factor into..." Weiss gestured vaguely at the scroll. "...all this. If you hear anything about something like that, could you tell us?"

Penny's eyes went wide. "I--I'll see what I can do!" she replied, and then hiccuped. "If you will excuse me, I need to... process all this."

"We understand," Blake assured her.

"And... even if it was because of all of this..." Ruby leaned back. "I really do want to be your friend, Penny. Not just somebody worried about you, um, dying, but an actual friend."

"...Thank you, Ruby." Penny backed out of her embrace, crestfallen. "I suppose I will see you around."

She left the dorm without another word.

* * *

Breakfast the next day was a somber affair, until the girl's gloom was rudely shattered by somebody vaulting onto the table and sitting cross-legged between them all.

"Wow, what the heck happened to you all?"

Weiss tore her gaze away from the exposed abs to glare at the blonde-haired face of their owner. "Has nobody taught you anything about propriety?"

"I think my team keeps trying to," the boy admitted as his monkey tail snagged a bit of bacon from Yang's plate. "Never really saw the need myself."

"That much is obvious," Blake muttered.

"What even is your name anyway?" Ruby asked.

"I'm Sun Wukong! Leader of team SSSN." The boy bit down on his stolen bacon.

Blake rolled her eyes. "And a _stellar_ role model for faunus everywhere."

"Why would a team leader need to stow away on a boat?" Weiss demanded.

"Oh I didn't need to stow away," Sun replied. "But they were headed to Vale anyway, and if any Grimm had attacked I'd be able to justify myself. Total win for everyone."

"There's a limited amount of resources on a ship," Yang pointed out flatly. "Taking from the common store hurts the sailors."

"I only took the extra stuff!"

"The extra stuff is for emergencies! Like if they get shipwrecked or a Grimm takes their supplies!"

"If you're a team leader," Ruby asked, "where's your team?"

Sun shrugged. "They're planning to take the airship tomorrow night. Had to pack their weapons and things. Me? I travel light."

His tail snaked out to grab another slip of bacon, but Blake caught the offending limb before it could. "Too light, I think. There's food for all the students, you don't need to take ours."

"Alright, alright." With a wink, he spun out of her grasp and hopped off the table. "Nice meeting you all!"

Team RWBY watched him saunter off with a whistle.

"So..." Weiss gave Blake a look. "If I say that _he's_ terrible--"

"Yes, Weiss, there are in fact terrible faunus." Blake speared a bit of fish off her plate. "So long as you keep in mind that they're not terrible _because_ they're faunus, you should be alright."

"Oh." Weiss tapped the edge of her plate with a fork. "So... yesterday. Before we met Penny, there was... the shop--"

Blake glowered at her.

"I mean... look." Weiss took a breath. "Either it's the White Fang, or it isn't. Or maybe it's somebody trying to frame the White Fang. Right? That's... reasonable?"

"...So far," Blake admitted, though her glower didn't let up.

"And," Weiss continued, "there was that 'scared of your little ships' thing, from the list. Which really, really seems to say that they will try to attack during the tournament."

"We don't technically know that it's the White Fang who's supposedly not scared," Ruby pointed out.

"They're the most likely group I can think of! I mean..." Weiss spread her hands. "Fiction! Drama! This, right here," she gestured between herself and Blake, "this whole tension, isn't... isn't that what people would like?"

"Okay, first of all." Yang folded her hands. _"We_ are not fictional. There's a story that happens to match our world, sure, and we can sort of see the future with the list. But we can't act like we're actors on a stage. We're actual people."

"I... I mean, yes, but still--"

"Secondly, even with the whole 'story as our future' thing, interesting stories have twists. Right now, there's evidence pointing toward the White Fang being behind the robberies, but there's not _proof._ Understand?"

Weiss opened her mouth, paused, and sighed. "I... yes."

"Well..." Ruby rubbed the back of her head. "Why don't we _get_ proof? Figure out who actually is behind the robberies, I mean. White Fang or not."

"And how would we do that?" Blake asked.

"...There's a Schnee company freighter that's supposed to come into dock tomorrow," Weiss offered. "We could... stake it out. See if anybody shows up."

Blake took a deep breath. "...it's as good an idea as any, I guess." She looked Weiss over. "Although that outfit will stick out like a sore thumb."

"I do have a few changes of clothes," Weiss pointed out.

"You do," Blake agreed. "But none that really work for a stealth mission. I have a few ideas, though..."

* * *

"You know what?" Weiss grumbled. "After tonight, I am _never_ bringing up the White Fang again. If Blake wants to talk about it, she has to bring it up herself."

"Probably a good idea," Ruby admitted. She steadfastly peered down at the docks, specifically to avoid looking at Weiss and cracking up. Again.

"How the hell did she find this outfit, anyway?!"

"Shh!"

"I mean," Weiss continued in a lower voice, "the pants are bad enough, but this shirt is just ridiculous!"

"I don't know what to tell you, Weiss. Blake has a thing for finding weird clothes I guess."

Weiss humphed, glancing across to the other roof Yang and Blake were on. "You think they see anything?"

"They'd signal us if they did."

"Right." Weiss sighed. "I don't know, I guess I just hoped something would happen by now."

Ruby nodded silently, staring at the docks.

"I said, I guess I just hoped--"

"I heard you."

"Well... it--it wasn't you I was talking to, exactly."

Ruby glanced at her. "I'm the only one here."

"I mean, if this is a story, then me saying that should have--"

"Weiss. Remember what Yang said?"

"...right, sorry." Weiss shook her head. "I got caught up in the whole... situation, I guess."

Ruby smiled. "Just remember: In real life, nothing happens on cue."

The wind suddenly picked up as lights flashed on above them, a bullhead descending from the sky to the crates on the ground. People in black hoods exited as the airship landed, waving their rifles around to make sure the area was clear.

"Oh come on!" Weiss groaned. "What is this?! When _I_ say something nothing happens but when _you_ speak up--"

"Hush!" Ruby was already recording the scene with her scroll. "We need to figure out what's going on here, remember?"

"Well, it's obviously the White Fang." Weiss pointed at the emblem of a wolf in red, emblazoned on the back of the hooded figures. "I mean, see that?"

"Yeah..." Ruby sighed. "Blake's not going to like this."

"Hey! What's the holdup!?"

Weiss and Ruby stared in disbelief as a man in a fine white coat and black derby hat walked out of the airship.

"We're not exactly the most _inconspicuous_ bunch of thieves at the moment," he continued as he swung his cane around, "so why don't you animals try to pick up the pace?"

"That's Roman Torchwick," Ruby breathed.

Weiss blinked. "That's _Roman Torchwick?"_ She spread her hands with a disbelieving shake of her head. "What's he doing working with the _White Fang?_ What's the White Fang doing working with _him?"_

"Why is Blake sneaking around the edge of containers?"

"Why is Blake--wait, _what?!"_ Weiss looked back just in time to see her teammate take a criminal hostage with her sword. "What is she _doing?!"_

"Nobody move!" Blake called out.

"Whoa! Take it easy there, little lady."

Blake reached for her bow, untying it and letting her ears free for all to see. "Brothers of the White Fang! Why are you aiding this _scum?"_

"Um." Ruby glanced at Weiss. "So, you know that she's--"

"She's just gathering information." Weiss rolled her eyes. "Dramatically."

Roman Torchwick laughed. "Oh kid, didn't you get the memo?"

Blake narrowed her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"The White Fang and I are going in on a joint business venture together!"

Blake pressed the blade closer. "Tell me what it is," she hissed, "or I'll put an end to your little operation."

The wind picked up again, two more bullheads revealing themselves above the group. Roman smirked. "I wouldn't exactly call it a _little_ operation..."

 _"He_ gets a cue?!" Weiss threw her hands up. "THE BAD GUY gets a cue?!"

Whatever else she was going to say was cut off when Torchwick fired his cane right at the ground, smoke rising as the explosion knocking his captor back with ease.

"Weiss, we have to help Blake!"

Without another word Ruby hopped off the roof, unfolding Crescent Rose as she leapt into the fray. Weiss's face snapped to resolute determination, and she summoned a few glyphs to get her down to the ground; a quick twirl of Myrtenaster sent a wave of fire knocking back some of the thugs long enough for her to catch up to her teammate.

Torchwick turned to them with a wild gleam in his eye. "Well hello, Red! And..." He blinked. "...newspaper clown?"

"It's a stealth outfit!" Weiss insisted.

"It's black polka-dot pants and a shirt a printer barfed on."

Weiss growled, summoning a glyph and thrusting ice right at his face--ice he dodged easily, knocking back Blake when she swung his sword at him.

"One, two, three, that's almost a complete huntress team. Which means--"

A loud bang announced Yang's departure from the roof, and she streaked like a golden meteor into one of the bullheads. Shouts of surprise and pain filled the air, a few turning into screams as their owners were flung into the waters below.

"Right." Roman shook his head. "Well kiddies, as much as I'd love to help your extra credit assignment--"

He dodged under Blake's sword, then her scythe, then launched a rocket at where Weiss and Ruby were battling through some more thugs.

"--I'm afraid I'm going to have to flunk you out of class."

The bullheads above were joined by three more, their guns pointing down at the battlefield. Weiss's eyes went wide and she quickly swung her sword, a shield of hard light protecting her and Ruby as they ran behind a crate. Torchwick matched cane to sword with Blake, not giving a single break in his defense. His own swipes hit shadow after shadow, dispelling them as quickly as Blake could make them, and he rose the cane for a devastating blow--

\--when Yang jumped in from above, her boots meeting his face and kicking him back. "You okay?"

"A little winded, but I'm fine." Blake adjusted her grip on Gambol Shroud. "He's good. Deflects everything I send at him."

Yang cocked her gauntlets. "Then I'll send him something he can't deflect." She rushed forward, shooting explosions into Torchwick's face and pushing him out into the open.

Weiss spun the chambers in Myrtenaster again, launching a crate with gravity Dust to deflect yet another barrage from the bullheads. "We can't keep this up forever!" she pointed out to Ruby. "Got any ideas?"

Ruby's eyes shot around, landing on the White Fang thugs tying tow cables to a crate. "You have lightning Dust, right?" At Weiss's nod, she looked up in the air, judging the distance between the bullheads, and then gestured toward the group. "We're going to run over there, and when I tell you-- _not before_ \--you're going to zap that crate."

"...Okay!" Weiss nodded, despite the bafflement on her face, and followed Ruby across the battlefield again. They scrambled for their target, zigging and zagging under Weiss's shield, and laid into the thugs ready to fight them.

"Now?"

"No!"

While they were occupied with the battle, the other White Fang members finished tying up the crate.

"Now?!"

"Not yet!"

Ruby spun Crescent Rose around, bashing back a few grunts as the bullhead from which the cables dangled flew into the air.

_"Ruby--!"_

"Not _yet!"_

Weiss buried Myrtenaster into the ground, a radius of ice entrapping the White Fang thugs around her, and turned to watch in horror as the crate lifted off the ground. "Ruby!"

"Wait for it--!" Ruby ordered, her eyes on the sky. "Wait... almost... Okay! NOW!"

Myrtnaster's chambers spun again and a streak of electricity shot through the air, enveloping the metal crate and climbing up the steel tow cables. The lights on the bullhead above flickered and went dead, the entire airship listing and crashing into another. Weiss stared as the two metal birds slammed into the waters around the dock, leaking desperate uniformed faunus who swam for the shore.

"...Huh."

Ruby smirked. "Good job, Weiss."

The remaining bullheads turned their guns on them again.

Weiss glanced at Ruby. "You have any other ideas?"

"Not yet. Run!"

The two of them zipped past Roman Torchwick, who hooked his cane around Yang's ankle and flung her into a wall. She grunted at the impact, landing on her feet and looking up just in time to see the muzzle pointed at her. A firework to the face sent her flying off the ship--and Blake swung in to catch her just before she hit the water, landing on the docks and pulling Gamble Shroud off the distant crane. "You alright?"

"Oh, I'm more than!" Yang cracked her neck and grinned. "That really powered me up!"

"Powered you... what?"

"Right. Semblance. I take hits, I get power from them."

Blake's eyes widened. "Wait, what?"

"Well now," Torchwick drawled as he sauntered forward, "I knew cats were good at fishing, but I really do have to admire that impressive catch of yours."

Yang stared at him for a moment "...Okay, _which_ one of us are you creepily flirting with? I want to know just how hard I should sock your jaw off."

"You'd have to get close enough to do that." Torchwick tipped his hat. "Unfortunately, I have places to be."

Yang rushed forward, her hair blazing as her fist passed through the air Torchwick had been in moments before. She smashed through a crate before she could skid to a stop, glaring up as the cable in Torchwick's cane retracted and he swung himself into the bullhead he'd hooked. Then her eyes landed on the other bullheads, tracing the angle of their guns to--

"--Ruby!"

She ran toward them, but was stopped when a meaty hand reached out of the water and grabbed her ankle. Blake was already up to her, pulling the White Fang thug off and dragging her behind a crate.

"We need to deal with those bullheads!"

"How?!" Blake cried back. "The crane doesn't reach them and if we make a break for the rooftops we're in the line of fire!"

A lance of green suddenly shot from the alleyway, cutting the airships into pieces. As the metal fell into the docks, all eyes turned to behold a figure stepping into the light of the lamposts, a circle of swords hovering behind her back.

Ruby gaped. "...Penny?"

The girl gave her a small smile. "Don't worry, friend Ruby." She turned her glare to the crowd of White Fang thugs. "I'm combat ready."


	12. Chapter 8: The Redhead Curse

"...Ruby?"

"Huh?" Ruby shook her head, her dazed expression returning to the moment. "Oh. Weiss. Hello. Sorry, I was just... um. I was... kind of thinking about what happened at the docks last night, you know?"

"Yeah, it was a lot," Blake admitted softly. "Especially... afterward." She shifted, melting into Yang's one-armed hug. "I think... I think headmaster Ozpin knows about me."

"That you're a faunus?" Yang asked.

"That, and..." Blake took a breath. "After we got back to Beacon, when he took me aside, he... asked how I knew the White Fang was going to attack. I told him I didn't, and he... didn't exactly _say_ he knew I used to be with the White Fang, but he pretty heavily implied it."

Ruby hummed quietly. "The headmaster's a good man. He knows about giving people a chance, I think." She chuckled, rubbing the back of her head. "Professor Goodwitch wanted to just send me home after I stopped Torchwick the first time, but he let me come to Beacon early. If he does know, I don't think he'll spread it around."

"Still... it's a bit unnerving." Blake rubbed her hand. "I've been wearing this bow for so long..."

"...Even when you were with the White Fang?" Weiss asked.

Blake sighed. "...There are advantages to... hiding a tell, when you're with people who are filled with anger. Like..." Her bow twitched faintly. "...Adam."

Weiss nodded, running a hand down the scar over her eye silently.

"...Anyway." Blake took a breath. "What was it about last night that were thinking of, Ruby?"

"Oh! Uh..." Ruby managed an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of her head. "Well... Penny was just so cool! I mean she had those floating swords that shot lasers and she just laid into everyone like woosh-thwack _kacha!_ and I think she also deflected some of the bullets at one point and I mean we were doing good too but it's like she's on another level and..."

Her rambling petered off slightly. "...and, well, after it was all over... I mean, it seemed for a moment that she was, you know... happy. Like she was when we first met her, before we..."

Yang glanced at the scroll, still resting on the bookshelf. "...yeah. Not... no easy way to handle that." She looked at her own arm. "Still... better to know, I think."

"I'm kind of worried about her. I mean not just because of the whole dying thing," Ruby clarified. "When that limo arrived... did she seem tense to the rest of you?"

"A little bit," Weiss admitted. "Before you hugged her."

Yang smirked. "Why Weiss, is that jealousy I detect?"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Oh no, I'm flustered and embarrassed at an implication that has been brought up by tabloids literally my entire life, spare me o mighty Xiao Long."

"Are you upset she liked your stealth outfit?" Ruby asked.

"Not--no!" Weiss shook her head. "Not upset, but... 'it breaks up your outline very well?' What kind of compliment is that?"

"The compliment of somebody who knows a good stealth outfit when they see one," Blake replied all too smugly. "But... speaking of Penny... or, well, not Penny exactly." She straightened up. "We said... we said we'd wait until we met somebody from the list."

The rest of the team followed her gaze to the scroll, lying placidly in the moonlight.

"...You want to take it?" Ruby offered hesitantly.

"I... well." Blake nodded. "I suppose it would be--"

_THNK._

"...was that--?"

_THNK._

"That was the window," Ruby confirmed as she stood, moving over to it. "And--oh my gosh!" She flung the window panels open, leaning out. "Penny?!"

"Salutations!" The girl waved, dropping the stones in her hands and looking around. "Please be quiet, I do not want to alert anybody to my current location!"

"Oh! Of course! Uh..." Ruby looked back at her teammates for a moment, getting awkward shrugs from Yang and Blake. "We could come down to you?"

"It would be better for me to come up to you!" Penny whispershouted, looking the building up and down. "I believe it is possible for me to scale this!"

Weiss stuck her head out the window, took one look at Penny bracing herself, and groaned. "Hold on just a second." She waved her hand, arranging a row of glyphs on the wall.

"Oh! That is convenient, thank you!"

Penny backed up a pace, braced herself, and rushed up the path that Weiss had made. At the apex of her path, she jumped for the windowsill; Ruby reached out and caught her, the breath being forced out of her lungs as the two of them fell flat onto the dorm floor.

Weiss shut the window and drew the curtains for good measure. "So you're sneaking out at night," she began, "and choosing the window over the door. Is something wrong?" She glanced at the scroll. "Beyond the usual, I mean."

"I wanted to avoid detection," Penny explained, belatedly pushing herself up. "I... do not know if..."

She trailed off for a moment, looking around at the team.

"...if?" Blake prompted.

Penny smiled. "It's nothing!" She hiccuped, her smile fading. "Well, I--you see... Maybe this wasn't the best idea, actually."

Ruby stood up, readjusting her pajamas as she gave Penny a sympathetic look. "Penny--"

"You said you're my friend. You're my friend, right?" Penny wrung her hands together. "You promise you're my friend?"

Ruby took her hands softly, looking her in the eyes. "I promise."

"We all promise," Weiss added quietly. "We're your friends, Penny, no matter what."

Penny glanced away, steeling herself. She slipped a hand into her sleeve, pulling out a small scroll, and tapped the screen quietly. A small image flashed to life on it, and she held it out to Ruby.

The girl took it gently, looking down at the screen, and her eyes widened. "...Penny... is... this what I think it is?"

"Yes. It's a copy of..." Penny braced herself. "...of my blueprints."

Ruby looked up, seeing her hunched in on herself, and immediately wrapped her in a hug. Penny stiffened slightly, and slightly more when Weiss joined in, but when Blake and Yang wrapped their own arms around her she finally dared to look up.

"I--I..."

"Just because you've got nuts and bolts instead of squishy guts, it doesn't make you any less real than us," Ruby assured her.

"I, well, um." Penny smiled weakly. "I suppose you did have advance warning--"

"That doesn't matter." Ruby looked her in the eyes. "You're a real girl, Penny. As real as anybody else in this room."

Penny's smile grew a little more genuine. "I... thank you." She glanced away. "I... I apologize for not informing you when you first asked about the possibility--"

"No, it's fine," Blake assured her. "Just... opening up like that, about something so important... it can be frightening." From her position around them, Yang nodded in agreement.

"Okay." Penny's shoulders relaxed. "Then... thank you all for this support. Although I feel that the multi-hug may not be the best position for me to be in when I explain myself."

"Right! Right." Ruby released her and backed off, smiling awkwardly as her teammates did the same. "Uh, what did you want to talk about?"

"Well... I have not told anyone about our initial meeting," Penny admitted. "With the scroll and what you asked, I did not think they'd believe me. Which means that Mister Ironwood is unaware that you are my friends, so in order to keep my nature a secret he... told me not to talk to you."

Ruby blinked. "Wait... what? Why would he do that?"

"Well, I am technically the result of a top secret project to create a synthetic person with aura," Penny explained. "One day, it will be _my_ job to save the world, but I still have a lot left to learn. That's why my father let me come to the Vytal Festival. I want to see what it's like in the rest of the world, and test myself in the Tournament." She rubbed the back of her head. "I... did not expect to be confronted with the possibility of my death."

"I don't think anybody ever expects that," Yang admitted. "I mean, the list also had 'bad Yang losing her arm jokes' which... yeah. That really freaked me out."

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know--"

"That basically stopped our last meme-reading session," Ruby admitted. "We were... well, we were just about to try to go through the rest of volume three, actually, right before you came in."

"Oh I see." Penny glanced away. "Then I suppose it might be appropriate for me to--"

"You can stay! If you want." Ruby gestured at the scroll. "This concerns you too, you know."

Penny looked up. "It... would not be uncomfortable?"

"Trust me," Blake deadpanned, "nothing is ever going to make that list comfortable. But having a friend with us when we do this... it might help."

"And besides, you're apparently high up in the Atlesian hierarchy," Weiss pointed out. "Or at least have connections there. You might be able to search for people the list mentions that we still haven't identified, or make connections we haven't."

"Yes, I... I suppose I could." Penny nodded. "Alright. I will stay for this... reading session."

Ruby smiled, sitting down on her bed and patting the space next to her. "Alright then. Let's get started. Blake?"

Blake took the scroll and inhaled. "From where we cut off last time." She sat down, running through the list. "Yang losing her arm, Jaune did nothing wrong, and... here's a new one. Ahem."

**[Where's my goddamned hat?!?]**

"So from that, we can derive that somebody loses a hat," Ruby explained to Penny. "Which means we need to go through everybody we know that wears a hat, and then try to figure out how they will lose it, and whether it's... important, you know?"

Penny nodded. "The officer uniform of the Atlesian military does incorporate a hat, but given the singular nature of the word 'my' it may be that the hat in question is more unique. The only such instances I can currently think of are Roman Torchwick, Flynt Coal, and my father, and I do not believe my father would resort to foul language."

Weiss tapped her knee. "Who's Flynt Coal?"

"The leader of team FNKI, an Atlesian Huntsman team."

"I'm going to assume it's Roman Torchwick that loses a hat," Yang decided. "Like, this sounds like something he would say." She frowned. "No idea why, though."

"Maybe one of us knocks it off," Ruby suggested.

"Maybe..."

**["30 minutes??? My body is not ready!"]**

"That's..." Ruby shook her head. "That one's a dud. I don't have any clue."

"What would a body be ready for?" Penny asked.

Yang and Blake shared a look.

"Uh..."

"Well..."

Ruby frowned. "It's a sex thing, isn't it."

"It's not... _always_ a sex thing," Yang hedged.

"Let's--let's just move on." Blake cleared her throat. "Next we have..."

**[Arkos ship name is now Titanic!]**

Penny tilted her head. "Changing a ship name requires a lot of effort and paperwork--"

"No no no." Ruby took her hand. "It's short for 'relationship.' Fans of a show will sometimes say 'this and that character would make a cute couple!' and... that's what we call shipping."

"I think this is sort of both, actually," Weiss mused. "The Arkos ship--the pairing--will have something happen to it, which reminds the fans of the actual ship, as in vessel, called the Titanic." She sighed. "The problem is, we don't know what either Arkos or Titanic means."

Blake tilted her head at the screen. "Arkos... I think it's Arc? Like Jaune Arc. And... Kos, kos..."

"Nikos?" Yang suggested.

Weiss snorted. "Really? Jaune and Pyrrha? That's not very likely."

"What makes you say that?"

"Penny, she's the four-time Mistral champion. She probably has standards _and_ is most likely used to random people asking to date her just because she's famous. And Jaune's, well..." Weiss gestured. "Jaune."

"I do not know who Jaune is," Penny pointed out.

"He's... well..." Weiss looked around for help.

"He's still learning to be a huntsman," Blake offered. "And isn't exactly the most impressive specimen... but he does seem to have a genuine heart."

Ruby sighed. "Look, the fans will ship who they ship. Jaune Arc and Pyrrha Nikos are partners. Sometimes that's reason enough. Now, what does _Titanic_ mean?"

"I have never heard that word," Penny admitted. "Although the suffix does suggest it is an adjective. 'Titanic'. Like a Titan."

"Titan sounds... _vaguely_ Atlesian?" Yang mused. "Maybe we should look into old words for that..."

"Well, _something's_ happening with Jaune and Pyrrha," Blake concluded. "We'll keep an eye on them, I guess."

**[Yang's nearly 18, right?]**   
**== >[We don't know Remnant's laws.]**

"Yeah, I'm nearly 18." Yang looked at the scroll oddly. "Why does that matter?"

"Perhaps the fans are concerned you are enacting behaviors that do not conform to their own laws regarding minimum age requirements," Penny suggested.

"We have established they come from a world without huntresses," Weiss agreed.

"We have?"

"Oh, right, it--it's this whole thing, we can explain later."

"So..." Yang shrugged. "Minimum age requirements to handle guns, maybe?"

Ruby nodded. "That seems about right--wait, no, then it would be all of us." She snapped her fingers. "Wait, your motorcycle! That must be it."

"Huh." Yang looked at the scroll again. "How long do these people _live,_ anyway? If 18's how old you need to be to own a motorcycle..."

**[Happy Valentine's Day]**

"What is Valentine's Day?" Penny asked.

Ruby shrugged. "Beats me."

Yang took a breath. "So here's my logic on this one. This is a show in the other world, and it just so happened that something important happened on Valentine's day. Like a dramatic reveal or something."

Blake inhaled sharply. "I hope you're wrong."

"What? Why?"

"Because the next meme is another Bad Joke list."

Yang winced. "Oh god. What is it this time?"

**[Bad "Pyrrha getting shot" jokes.]**

"...well." Weiss glanced at the door. "I suppose it's nice of them to have a specific format for the particularly traumatizing moment. At least we get prepared for the whole list..."

Ruby gripped Penny's hand tighter, and she responded in kind.

**== >[I used to be a Huntress like you. Then I took an arrow in the heart.]**

"Well, at least we have more detail then we did with--" Yang glanced at Penny. "--me losing my arm," she said instead.

Ruby wrapped her own arm around Penny's, nodding to Blake.

**== >[Pyrrha Nikos will always be near our hearts... specifically our lungs.]**

"I do _not_ like the implications of _that_ sentence," Weiss murmured.

**== >["Mr. Arc, I don't feel so good."]**   
**== >[Shot through the heart, and Cinder's to blame!]**

"Wait, Cinder?" Ruby sat up straight. "The same Cinder as before?"

"I... well, I'd guess so," Blake managed. "Uh, let me--"

"This Cinder person has come up before?"

"A couple of times," Ruby admitted, squeezing Penny's hand. "Something about them being seventeen, and somebody calling them senpai."

"That's... basically it, yeah." Blake looked through her notebook. "We don't know nearly enough about a lot of people this list brings up."

"Heck, the bit about you being a robot was just completely separate from anything with your name," Yang added. "But--well, now we know why Cinder's so important. Being the one to..."

She trailed off.

"...We'll warn Pyrrha tomorrow," Ruby decided. "And we'll keep an eye out for Cinder."

Blake put down her notebook and picked up the scroll again.

**[The redhead curse.]**   
**== >[Protect the redheads! Except Adam.]**

"Wait, does it actually say--" Yang looked over Blake's shoulder. "Oh god, it does actually say 'except Adam.'"

Penny let out a breath. "I suppose we do not know who Adam is either."

"No, we--we do." Blake cringed. "Well, _I_ do. I... promised I'd explain him after... we got through the volume three stuff."

"Oh." Penny blinked. "That is... convenient."

"So, what's the redhead curse?" Ruby asked.

"Well..." Weiss cringed. "'Redhead' often refers to people with red hair, or orange hair..." She took Penny's other hand, rubbing her arm comfortingly.

"Oh." Ruby shared a look with the robot girl. "...well, I for one agree. Protect the redheads."

Blake smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Ruby, you're technically a redhead yourself."

"Well, so what? That just makes it a little bit more important!"

Small smiles crossed everyone's faces.

**[Qrow is watching you.]**

"A bird?" Penny asked.

"No," Ruby corrected, "our uncle Qrow. Spelled with a Q." She tilted her head. "Although the whole 'watching' thing is a bit weird. I don't get why the fans would say that."

"Maybe there's a couple of scenes of him... just standing there, watching somebody?" Yang suggested. "Like, after all this traumatic stuff, he stands there broodingly, and the fans ignore the in-depth reasoning of why he's doing it in order to make silly jokes."

"...Yeah." Ruby nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense."

**[GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY ITS ALL GONE TO SHIT]**

"No," Yang growled, "you don't say. I couldn't tell from the character defamation, the dismemberment, and the _murders."_

Ruby cleared her throat, shooting her eyes pointedly at Penny.

"Oh! Sorry, I just..." Yang gestured at the scroll. "I'm just... this whole thing gets to me, you know?"

"No, I understand," Penny agreed. "I do not like what this implies either, and... I am not especially fond of how casually the list is taking these events." Her expression grew contemplative. "Although, I must admit that with the understanding this is presented as a fictional story, it is comprehensible. Just... personally distressing."

"Just wait until you hear the shipping jokes," Weiss muttered.

"The what?"

"Uh--Blake! There's more, isn't there?"

Blake rolled her eyes. "Funny you should ask."

**[YOU CAN'T IRK THE MERC!!!]**   
**== >["The Merc has been irked", in response to his--]**

Her eyes widened. "...wait... _what?"_

"In response to his what?" Ruby asked.

Blake swallowed.

**[...in response to his disturbed reaction to the creation of Grimm in Volume 4.]**

The room fell quiet as every pair of eyes fell on her.

"That..." Blake dropped the scroll, hand shaking. "That's what it says."


	13. Chapter 9: Thanks, Salem

"...the creation of Grimm..." Ruby breathed.

"That.... that's horrifying." Weiss shook her head, disbelief in her eyes. "That... I mean, there are theories, but..." She brought her hands to her mouth, trying to control her breathing.

"Creation." Penny had gone very still. "Not... birth. Or spawning. Somehow, the Grimm are _created..."_

"And Mercury is there to see it. People can see this happening." Yang stared at the list. "In volume... four, it said?"

"Yeah. Volume 4." Blake stared at the scroll. "After... after all the other stuff."

"...There is something I do not understand." Penny looked around. "I thought the ones who arranged this were supposed to remove all the explanations of the memes."

"This... this has happened before," Weiss admitted. "So far we've been chalking it up to them missing a few things, being... able to make mistakes."

"The creation of Grimm." Ruby stared. "The... creation. If they're created... is there a way to stop their creation? To stop new Grimm being made?"

The room fell silent again, as the implications of Ruby's question sunk in.

"...If it is," Yang finally said, "we'll need time to figure it out." She took the scroll from Blake's lap, looking around questioningly. "There's still some more of volume 3. If..."

"...if we want to continue." Weiss's hands curled. "After that, I--I don't know what could be more shocking."

"We... were almost done," Blake admitted. "With volume 3. I don't know if anything else will be relevant, but... if it isn't, then we know what the high points are, and if it is, I feel like we should figure that out. Sooner, rather than later."

Penny frowned quietly. "...A more complete dataset would lend itself to ease of research," she admitted.

"...Alright." Weiss nodded. "Alright. It's not like we're going to sleep anytime soon after that."

Ruby nodded. "Yang?"

Yang looked down at the scroll. "Here we go."

**[#RelightTheTorch]**

"Crosshatch relight the torch?"

"Well, it's RelightTheTorch, but before that is..." Yang sketched the lines in the air with her finger. "That symbol. Two lines across, two lines down."

Penny nodded. "I am unfamiliar with that symbol."

"I think it means ‘number'?" Weiss offered, though uncertainty filled her own voice.

"...Let's ignore that for now," Blake suggested. "Relight the torch could be a metaphorical way to say ‘bring Beacon back.'"

"Right, the torches as beacon thing..." Yang's eyes widened. "Which... implies that Beacon is going to be destroyed."

"Great googly moogly," Ruby murmured.

"Kevin the dragon Grimm," Weiss agreed.

Penny gave Weiss an awkward look. "Kevin?"

"Oh, sorry, there--there was a meme about a dragon Grimm being called Kevin."

"Oh." Penny nodded. "Why _Kevin?"_

"I have no idea."

**[History will repeat itself.]**   
**== >[Dark-haired runaways.]**

Blake took in everyone's looks and sighed. "It's... complicated. I'll explain tomorrow, I swear, but..." She wrapped her arms around herself.

"...We can figure this one out later," Yang offered. "It feels like one of those ones we'd need more context for, anyway."

"And it's runaways plural," Ruby pointed out. "Maybe I'm supposed go with you to... wherever we go?"

"...maybe," Blake allowed with a small smile.

**[Lancasters send their regards.]**

"Who are the Lancasters?" Ruby asked.

"People who send their regards," Weiss replied.

Blake sighed. "Another name for the list...."

**[Scythe Girl and Kick Friend.]**

"Well I'm obviously Scythe Girl," Ruby mused, "but who is Kick Friend?"

"Blake."

Blake rolled her eyes. "Yang--"

"Seriously," Yang continued, "look at those legs." She gestured toward Blake's legs. "Look at them! And how she fights, she has a LOT of power--"

"Yang!" Blake insisted, blushing.

"Besides, dark-haired runaways." Ruby shot her fingerguns. "We'll have a life-changing adventure of some sort!" Her smile fell. "You know, if... if we can't save Beacon from whatever this is."

**[Sage the OC]**

"What is an OC?" Penny asked.

"Sage is," Yang replied.

Blake elbowed her. "Stop that." She cleared her throat. "I've heard OC before, in... certain contexts. Sometimes a writer will make a story based off another story, and that new story will have an Original Character--somebody that wasn't in the first story."

"Ah. So... Sage is _not_ part of the RWBY story, and is just... a fandom joke?"

Weiss shrugged. "Apparently. You know, it's nice to find a name we _don't_ have to look out for, for once."

**[Cortana was the main villain all along!]**

"Cortana?" Ruby looked at the scroll, baffled. "What, like the snackbar?"

"That is not the only meaning of the word Cortana," Penny pointed out. "Prior to the Great War, the cortana was a sword that had been ceremonially broken, used by the king of Vale in knighting ceremonies."

Yang snapped her fingers. "So _that's_ why all the Cortana ads say it's food of honor! I've always wondered about that."

"That... still doesn't explain the main villain thing," Weiss pointed out.

"Probably just an exaggeration joke. Somebody slips on a Cortana bar and, whoops, they're unable to help out in the fight."

"Well." Ruby shook her head. "Never eating them again, anyway. Just to be safe."

**[Thanks, Salem.]**

"...That is a name," Weiss observed.

"Yeah..." Yang rubbed the back of her head. "That's all we've got... so... yeah."

Ruby shook her head. "It's probably another background character or something. Not important, I think."

Blake wrote in her journal. "I'll put it on the list, anyway. Just in case."

**["IT'S BEEN THREE HOURS!"]**

"Wait." Weiss blinked. "Penny dying, Yang losing her arm, Pyrrha getting shot, Beacon being destroyed--all that's supposed to happen in the space of _three hours?"_

Ruby held Penny's arm tighter. "Well, if it is, that means we absolutely _have_ to stop... whatever it is that's going to happen." She breathed. "Somehow. Without even knowing all the moving parts."

"...We'll figure it out," Yang promised. "It, uh, probably has something to do with what happened last night, anyway." She gave Blake an awkward glance.

"...yeah." Blake nodded. "I really hoped the White Fang wasn't involved in this, but... even if they aren't involved in this, specifically, they're involved in something."

**[Neckury]**

"...Neck...ury?" Weiss blinked. "Why would that be important?"

"It's... probably an animation glitch or something," Ruby suggested. "A single frame of Mercury with a long neck."

"I believe squash and stretch is a standard animation technique," Penny pointed out.

Weiss sighed. "I still can't believe--"

"Mandatory Movie Night," Ruby insisted.

"Alright! Alright. I'll drop it."

**[Weapon: Trumpet.]**

"I believe that to be a reference to Flynt Coal," Penny noted. "His weapon is a trumpet."

"...that is also a gun?" Ruby asked.

Penny half-shrugged. "He is able to channel Dust effects through the sound waves."

"Huh." Ruby nodded. "Well... that's a one-of-a-kind weapon. I mean I've heard of non-weapon weapons, but... a trumpet?"

"No wonder these people noticed," Yang agreed, putting the scroll down. "So that's the last volume 3 meme..."

"Are these reading sessions all so..." Penny considered for a moment. "...intense?"

Weiss shook her head. "Until the third volume, most of this list was nonsensical jokes. One or two ‘serious' matters, but for the most part, it's just... silly things."

"Ah."

Ruby looked at the doubt on Penny's face. "...we... could do a small bit of the General section," she suggested. "A bit of fun after... all that."

"Well..." Penny looked out at the moon. "...I suppose I have a bit more time before anybody will notice me missing..."

"You wouldn't be the first teenager that snuck out to have fun with their friends," Yang assured her. "Hell, you wouldn't even be the hundredth."

"That is oddly reassuring."

"Okay so--"

"What if Penny read the next part?" Ruby suggested. "I... I mean, she's here anyway and..." She gestured vaguely, attempting to communicate something that she herself wasn't entirely sure of.

"...you know what?" Yang nodded. "Yeah. Penny, you up for this?"

"I suppose it is only fair," Penny admitted, accepting the scroll. "So, General, and then..."

"Well, the last general meme we covered was Mam of the Year," Ruby mused. "And we've been doing them in ten-meme segments, so... start from there and read on?"

Penny nodded. "Alright." She steadied herself. "Let us see what happens next."


	14. Chapter 10: Hiatus Madness

"So I just... start reading?" Penny asked.

Ruby nodded. "Yeah, start reading, and we figure things out. And general memes are more about... you know, the fandom, than specific events, so..."

"Alright." Penny looked down at the screen. "Past what you have informed me, the first meme on the list is..."

**[Where's Mercury?]**

Yang groaned. "Of course it is."

"Why would that be a meme?" Penny asked, somewhat baffled.

"It could be that Mercury has a habit of showing up in the background of various shots," Ruby explained. "Or that he goes missing from multiple episodes at a time."

"We don't usually get a lot of useful information from general memes," Blake noted. "Still... it can be interesting, in its own way."

"Alright." Penny looked down at the scroll again. "Next is..."

**[Cinder did nothing wrong]**

Yang scoffed. "Okay, wow. That's just--"

"There's Jaune, Mercury, and you," Blake pointed out. "'Did nothing wrong' seems to be less a literal phrase and more a... hyperbolic statement?"

Weiss nodded thoughtfully. "Perhaps certain events or characters are... hot-button topics in the fandom."

"Well..." Yang paused. "Well," she admitted reluctantly, "the whole 'shot through the heart' thing is the only hard evidence that Cinder's related to any of the bad events. But Mercury was outright called a scumbag."

"And what about Jaune?" Ruby pointed out. "Or you?"

"...okay, yeah, 'did nothing wrong' doesn't seem like it would be helpful in this list." Yang threw up her hands. "Still!"

"It is an interesting phrase to become repeated," Penny mused. "Perhaps it has a cultural context for the fans we are unaware of?"

"Maybe," Ruby mused. "Maybe."

**[Beehaw!]**

"So a combination of 'yeehaw' and 'Bee,'" Yang mused. "Maybe it's something about Bumblebee?"

"Your bike or the team attack?" Ruby asked.

"There is a list of indented memes attached to this singular one," Penny interjected. "Perhaps they could clarify the situation?"

Yang waved a hand. "By all means."

**== >[Yorse]**

"Yang horse," Ruby said with a nod. "Which... doesn't actually--"

"If this is related to the team attack it probably implies I ride Yang," Blake said quickly.

"...why would you ride..." Ruby took in the faint blush on Blake's cheeks. "Oh my god. Why is it _always_ a sex thing?!"

"Because we're two hot girls who happen to be partners?" Yang offered dryly. "This is general memes, it's probably just a crazy joke or something."

Penny tilted her head. "I do not know. The next two related memes do not seem to imply sexual conduct. Then again, I do not know much about sexual conduct."

"I don't either," Ruby grumbled. "Looks like we're _both_ getting an education."

**== >["Don't worry, we're safe."]**   
**== >[Hiatuses be like "Bonjour"]**

"...I don't get the first one," Yang admitted. "The second one, though... I think something about this meme is so memetic that every time the show takes a break, the meme comes back. Somehow."

"A meme about you and Blake being partners?" Weiss deadpanned.

"I think it's more specific," Yang mused. "Something about Beehaw and Yorse. A... culture, that we fit into, or an aesthetic--just... something memorable." She shook her head. "Maybe with a picture, I'd be able to figure out what exactly it is."

"Maybe it's you as a literal horse," Ruby suggested.

Yang rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure, a horse with my face. Ruby, come on. There's stupid fan jokes and then there's just insanity."

"I'm just saying, Yang-faced Horse would be memorable, right?"

"It'd be... _something,"_ Blake admitted with a shudder.

**[Cinder's overly elaborate costume budget]**

Weiss blinked. "Wait, I thought this was an animated show?"

"Just because it's an animated show doesn't mean characters can't have different outfits," Ruby pointed out. "But... yeah, Cinder having enough costumes for the fans to comment on it... that's a little bit odd, I have to agree."

"Maybe they have a single outfit and it's ridiculously fancy?" Yang suggested.

Ruby shook her head. "No, if this is an animated show--which we have established," she added to Weiss, who rolled her eyes, "then it has to be multiple outfits. For whatever reason."

"Maybe she's vain," Blake suggested.

Weiss crossed her arms. "Blake, _Coco Adel_ is vain. Multiple outfits is _ostentatious."_

"Maybe she's from Atlas," Blake suggested with a smirk.

Weiss huffed. "Maybe," she conceded grumpily.

"Oh!" Penny looked up from the scroll. "This next one is about friend Weiss!"

"Oh joy," Weiss muttered.

**[Weiss the jobber.]**

"...so they think I'm sort of merchant?"

"It's probably a reference to you being the SDC Heiress," Blake pointed out. "A joke about you forcing Dust on other people for money or some equally exaggerated reduction of the whole... wealth thing."

Weiss sighed. "Why am _I_ the fandom punching bag?"

Blake took a slow breath. "Weiss... sometimes first impressions can be horribly, horribly bad. And sometimes... people don't realize how wrong they are. If this is a show about, well, us, the people watching would have seen how you treated Ruby when the two of you first bumped into each other and... drawn some conclusions."

"I've gotten better."

"You have!" Ruby assured her. "You have. These... these are dumb jokes, right?"

Weiss nodded quietly. "Right."

"...I apologize if I caused you any distress," Penny said.

"Not your fault. It's--" Weiss nodded toward the scroll. "--it's _their_ fault. Nobody blames you."

Penny nodded quietly, turning back to the scroll.

**[Pyrrha is a Canadian]**

Ruby groaned. "Another word we don't know."

"Canadia might be a kingdom," Blake pointed out. "Like Mexica."

"If it is, then Pyrrha Nikos is probably presumed to be a perfect example of a Canadia native," Penny mused.

Weiss nodded. "So Canadia is a culture that emphasizes excellence in combat, decorum, and understanding," she decided. "It makes perfect sense--the Pyrrha Plush was known as 'the great one' for some reason."

**["Oh grapes!"]**

Ruby snrked, turning a toothy grin on her sister.

"Hey!" Yang protested. "Grapes is a perfectly good..." She glanced around the room at everyone's disbelieving looks. "I have a little sister," she tried. "You know? I have to be... a good example for her."

"Oh yeeeeeah," Ruby drawled. "That totally protected my innocence. I have no knowledge of swear words because of your noble efforts."

Penny blinked. "I... assume you are being sarcastic?"

"Yes, I am."

"I see. I would have been worried if you were being genuine."

Ruby huffed. "Just because I'm two years younger than everyone--" She paused. "Er... actually, Penny, how old _are_ you?"

"That is... complicated," Penny replied, not quite meeting her eyes.

Ruby put a hand on her shoulder. "...Okay. We don't have to talk about it."

"I appreciate that."

**[Cinder is a Yandere]**

Blake started. "She's a--?! Oh, that's not good."

"What's a yandere?" Weiss asked.

Blake paused. "...Well. Ahem." She cleared her throat, straightening up. "It's a term that pops up in certain Mistrali fiction. Characters who are yanderes have a very specific kind of love for other characters." She rubbed her arm. "The kind of love that has them attacking or killing anybody who they think would take their item of affection from them. Or holding them in a cell. Or... basically it means 'obsessively crazy love interest.'"

Weiss blinked. "Oh."

"That's terrifying," Ruby stated. "And Cinder is--"

"It's not necessarily accurate," Blake pointed out. "A lot of yanderes in the books--that... I'm aware of, they're too crazy to be anything more than comedic relief."

"It's still-- _why_ would they make that joke?!"

Yang hummed thoughtfully. "Cinder shoots Pyrrha, so making a 'Cinder loves Jaune' joke--"

"I still don't think those two will get together," Weiss stated dryly. "Whatever the case, this is in general memes, so..."

Ruby shook her head. "We can't ignore it, but we don't know what it means. Let's... just be careful around Cinder."

**[Hiatus Madness]**

"Oh no!" Yang stated melodramatically. "The show's on break, we'll all go crazy!"

"Knowing some fans, that's probably more likely than you think," Weiss quipped.

"The submemes do seem to support that," Penny noted.

**== >[Earband Blake]**

Blake pinched her brow. "Nobody," she said firmly, "is putting a hairband around my ears."

"Wouldn't think of it." "No of course not!" "I will not do such a thing friend Blake." "I'll punch anybody that tries to."

She couldn't help a small chuckle at the replies. "Good to know. Thanks."

**== >[Yeecaw]**

The room was quiet for a moment.

"It would make sense that there would be more memes without context in the general section," Penny mused. "It is still rather annoying."

"Understatment right there," Ruby groused. "I think you've got one more before we hit ten, right?"

"That is correct!"

**[Trust the transcripts!]**

"Well..." Yang frowned. "Maybe there's some jumbled audio in the show and... it led to a debate but everyone checked the transcripts?"

There were a few shrugs all around.

"Yeah, I think we should call it there," Weiss admitted. "It's late and... with Pyrrha getting shot and the whole thing about how Grimm can be created, it's... a lot to process."

"Yeah..." Ruby gave Penny a look. "Will you be okay getting back to your dorm?"

"Oh, I do not have a dorm," Penny replied as she handed her the scroll.

"You don't?"

"Mister Ironwood arranged a private suite for me in Vale," she explained. "Well... me and the various staff assigned to the project."

"The project?"

Penny stared at Ruby's uncomprehending face.

Weiss coughed awkwardly. "I think she's referring to the project that created her, Ruby."

"...Oh! Oh, right." Ruby laughed a little, awkwardly rubbing the back of her head. "I guess that makes sense. It just... kind of feels weird to call Penny a project. I mean..." She waved a hand at the ginger. "She's _Penny."_

A small smile crossed the gynoid's face.

"Yeah, hey... where is this suite?" Yang asked. "We could drop by sometime."

Penny cringed. "About that..."

"You snuck out and don't want your handlers to know so you don't get in trouble?" Blake offered dryly.

"Well... that, and I don't want _you all_ to get in trouble," Penny admitted. "Especially not with mister Ironwood."

Weiss nodded quietly. "It's probably best not to rock the boat that way..."

"Well, what if we gave each other our scroll contacts?" Ruby suggested. "Then we could talk to you whenever!"

"Oh! That sounds sensational!" Penny agreed, quickly pulling out her scroll.

Yang watched the pair of them as they exchanged contact information, smiling fondly. Blake glanced at her expression for a moment; she nodded to herself, looking at the three on the bed across the way.

"Do you need me to run some glyphs for you on the way out?" Weiss asked as she gave Penny her own contact info.

"That will not be necessary. I am durable enough to survive a drop from this height."

"If you're sure..."

Penny gave her a reassuring smile. "Thank you for your concern, friend Weiss." She paused for a moment, glancing at the scroll that held the meme list. "Will you... inform me when you intend to do another reading session?"

Ruby nodded. "Of course! We can bring you in when we start a new one--"

Penny shook her head. "I'm not sure that will be possible. I am... likely to be monitored even more stringently after tonight."

"Oh."

"...but if you record your conversations, you can send them to me via the contact!"

"That's a good idea, actually," Blake noted. "And we can cover the stuff that we went over before meeting you."

"That would be extremely beneficial!" Penny agreed as she accepted her contact information. "Although if there are personal matters, I would not wish to pry--"

"Don't worry about it." Yang gave her contact to Penny with a wave of her hand. "Friends are there for each other, right?"

"...Right." Penny nodded, swinging her legs out the window.

She looked back at the four girls smiling at her.

"I will... see if I can arrange less clandestine meetings in the future," she promised.

Ruby nodded. "And we'll try for the same thing."

For a moment, Penny's smiling face was silhouetted against the shattered moon. Then she hopped out the window, rushing across the nightlit grass.

Weiss shut the window after her. "...I wonder if Winter knows Penny. Or knows about her."

"Maybe you can ask when she gets here," Ruby suggested.

Blake took a slow breath. "...Tonight," she said, "was very productive, actually."

"Yeah." Yang nodded in agreement. "I mean we mostly learned a lot of scary stuff, but... we learned about it. We can prepare for it. Cinder, Pyrrha... whatever's going to happen with Beacon..."

"The creation of Grimm," Weiss muttered. "That's... that's big."

"...And we were here for Penny."

The other three turned to Ruby.

"I'm not saying the other stuff's not important!" Ruby explained quickly. "But... it's stuff we're going to have to handle. Penny... in a way, we... we've already gotten that all down. You know?"

"...yeah." Yang nodded, looking at the scroll in her sister's hands. "I mean, that thing is just evil sometimes, but... I think we're actually getting somewhere with all of this."

Weiss put her hands on her hips. "What, stopping the robbery last night doesn't count?"

"We didn't get that directly from the list," Blake pointed out. "That was us listening in on some detectives."

"Well--well, maybe," Weiss conceded. "But... We..."

She inhaled.

"...I," she said, "have a better... appreciation of certain matters. Because of the list and..." Her eyes flicked toward Blake's bow. "...the revelations therein."

Blake managed a small smile. "Will wonders never cease." Ruby and Yang giggled a little at her quip.

"Yes, well." Weiss's face fell. "I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. We... need to warn Pyrrha about... all this."

"Yeah..." Blake's smile faded. "And I promised I'd talk about... Adam."

She curled her knees up, wrapping her arms around them. Yang wrapped her arm around her shoulders.

"...We should get some sleep," Ruby decided, putting the scroll on the bookshelf and swinging up into her bed.

"Yeah..." Weiss gave Blake an awkward glance as she pulled under her own sheets.

With one final reassuring squeeze, Yang parted from her partner, pulling herself into bed. "Night everyone."

Blake took a breath. "Night..."

And the girls fell asleep, confused dreams floating through all their skulls.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to this stupid idea! The premise: Team RWBY reads the [TVTropes Meme Page](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/memes/RWBY) and freak out. A lot. Some rules of the road!
> 
> * Every last 'labelnote explanation' will be scrubbed. However, anything in a bulletpoint will remain.  
> 
> * The lists will have sublists for when bullet points have subpoints.  
> 
> * Team RWBY has no knowledge of Earth culture and will have no reference point for some memes as a result.  
> 
> * Team RWBY is not comprised of idiots, just kids who don't have any idea what they're getting into.
> 
> I don't know how many memes are going to be covered in each chapter, I'm just making this up as I go along for my own entertainment. I do know, however, that there are going to be certain reactions from certain characters.
> 
> Anyway, feel free to point out how ridiculous this whole thing is, and try to remind me where I got this idea from--I'm not entirely sure myself.


End file.
